Wearable Wednesday Thomas Tait


Psst- check out their feet!!!!! It’s really  the safest place to look.

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Did he leave the models in the bath too long?

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She looks like a half eaten bag of taffy from the shore.

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This is a rejected idea for the Nutcracker- alternate ballet- Rise of the Demon Cupcake Queen

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No one ever thinks to bring their patio awnings in during a hurricane.

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Did she do something wrong? Are you punishing her?

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And they’ve brought down the checkered flag- we should have a winner announced soon!

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Babyghost


This is a test. Of your ability to focus on the clothing. Ready? Don’t be distracted by her ankle wounds that look like someone let a rabid woodchuck feast on her. Don’t . She got them crawling into the photographers window last night trying to get back her e cigarette.

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Don’t be distracted by her obvious rage at the photographer who said he’s call, but obviously he prefers that slut from Red Valentino that she saw him with last night at Butter.

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Don’t wonder if her right leg has been oddly photoshopped- she asked as a last favor for them to remove the tattoo she got of the photographer back when things were good.

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Don’t be distracted that he paused the photoshoot while another model brought him a falafel. Right in front of her. Like that wasn’t their special food truck.

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….once upon a time I was falling in love- now I’m only falling apart…..you bastard!

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Oh, my God- did he really just tell her that? He said I was like a young Elle Fanning…..

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Smile? With my eyes? The eyes that just saw you give her a grape! One of MY grapes!

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Oh, you think you’re getting these shoes back? Over my dead body. Raoul.

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photo credits:style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Burda 7126 and the stranger


It was a dark, moody night, I’d been chasing dead leads like a dog with a broken tail chases a rubber shoe down a blind alley full of tears and cynical calicoes.
She stood there in the gloom- her eyes told stories- stories of mystery- broken needles and empty spools. Stories that drive a man mad. I would have followed her anywhere- all the way to the remnant bin and back. She had that kind of power.

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My eyes scanned the faux wrap bodice of her crinkle chiffon blouse. I could tell she had used a self- bias tape on the neckline- she was obviously far too clever for me, but I kept looking. She turned and gave me a look at the raw silk obi wrap that gripped her rib cage like a fat man clings to a full rack of baby back ribs that he spent his last sawbuck on. I liked it and it liked her.

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Her shoulders moved sinuously beneath the heavily darted kimono sleeves- daring me to ask about her facings. I knew, sure as I knew that God made little green apples and a sinner loves an unguarded collection plate that beneath that exterior, she had French seams.

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As the smoke cleared and a lonely train grew near, she turned and in a breathy whisper- a whisper that told of late nights working the graveyard shift and trying to wring tips out of too many tables of travelling salesman with nothing but Blue Plate specials and Poughkeepsie on their minds.
‘Burda, Burda –7126′
‘Wait’, my heart cried out like a baby cried for a kewpie doll at a cheesy carnival – what did it mean? Don’t strand me, Angel Face- tell me the story!’

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The trains lonely whistle shrieked like a poodle with its belly fur pinched tight in an argyle sweater- she turned once more and gently gnawed on her lower lip, while I gnawed on my past.
Finally she spilled- like a snot-nosed punk kid with an overfull glass of moo juice reaching for the last of the flapjacks.
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‘The story never changes, Baby- I omitted the collar and the side zip, left the sleeves to hang like broken wings-  the rest is by the book, Baby.’
I never saw her again, but I’ll never forget that night as long as the cruel Gods of Fate and J Ed Hoover let me keep riding this God-forsaken kiddy car of a planet.
What did it all mean? I’ll never know, but whatever, it was Buffalo and I needed an egg cream.

 

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Psst- color pics on Pattern Review.

Photo credits: meadhawg. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Hermes


I believe the cohesive theme to this collection is ‘things I have seen Jeremy Irons wear’

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See!!! I told you!

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This fabric- yes please.

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The prototype was made of legos.

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I can definitely do without the hip turban, but I love the jacket.

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I’m sorry, I can’t walk 5 feet with a towel on- how is she keeping her boyfriends henley from falling off??

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How is Grandpa supposed to fight off pneumonia if you keep stealing his happenin’ cardigans??

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After the show, the caterers took this dress with them by mistake.

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Photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Moncler Gamme Rouge


That is one angry sailor. They must have canceled shore leave.

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She looks like she overheard them calling her ‘Bonnie Boob knot’ backstage.

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Is this a nursing dress?

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This looks very chaffy.

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Didn’t Anne of Cleves wear this on her head once?
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Is this made of Space muppets?

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With that ‘come hither’ look she’s giving us- no wonder it has a draw string hem!

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Photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

The Writing Process Blog Hop- the method to my madness?


This is wild.

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Sew Busy Lizzy asked me to join a blog hop and it’s about the writing. I was thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. I think most sewing bloggers want to have their work complimented- I consider it a good day when someone says they read my post and did a spit take. So asking me why my blog differs from others is like asking the Pope how he differs from Hugh Hefner. Only one of us wears a smoking jacket, of course. But all of us wear silk pajamas at home. So I must thank Lizzie- who was an early blog favorite for me- she has shown me a beautiful world across the globe and introduced me to some very good pattern friends! Well- buckle up- I’m ready to answer the 4 questions with great dignity and sobriety, as this demands.

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What am I working on at the moment?
I’m trying to make a bit of a lifestyle change. I’ve worn uniforms forever and now I’m office casual, so my life of gaudy w/ jeans has changed a bit. I need more cohesion in my closet- but cohesion MY WAY! I have way too many things that match nothing in my closet. So I’ve started changing my fabric sorting plan- now I sort by ‘what works together’ and try to make things that coordinate with other fabric and will create loud and boisterous garment gangs to roam my closet and terrorize the cardigans. ‘SewBasics’ is just not a policy I can endorse! I’ve become very fixated on Stella Jean designs- the combinations are feminine, colorful and powerful:

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How does your work differ from that of other writers in your genre?
Oh, boy- I’m not sure I have a genre! Basically, you get a steam of unconsciousness thrown at you all at once. My blog is that lonely girl you inadvertently stood next to at a party who once you said ‘Hi’ to, wouldn’t stop talking and only half of it made sense. Most people would walk away at the obvious craziness presented to them, but some people stay and while it may not change their lives or their voting habits, they get a giggle. I’m not a tutorial writer- I’m a cautionary tale. I bring no new education or ideas to the table. I’m about feeding my inner color-blind child and showing what the patterns and gaudy fabrics on a blind date can do! Add a ‘rounded perspective’ and you get what happens when the chubby meet the average pattern- the envelopes lie- but these hips do not and they only fib to spare my butts feelings. I also like to throw in a lot of foolish pictures. My husband even sends me files now from public library archives and such when he comes across the correct level of nonsense. As you may know- he is my best enabler. I wouldn’t feel free to be as silly as I am without his support.

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Why do you write what you write?
I blog to save my co-workers and family from killing me. I don’t have a large local group to talk zippers and Mui Mui with. If I forced them to listen to me all day, I think eventually they’d load a leopard print sock with guest soaps and beat me to death. Last time I was in the local fabric store I became engaged in a deep conversation with a woman preparing her shi tzu’s holiday wardrobe. She didn’t have alot to say about the new Vogue collection- it was sadly lacking in pup visors. So I found a quiet corner of the internet and set up a little tea party/ranting nook. Now I can expound on The Swinton, embracing your flat butt, Betsey Johnson and the like, without seeing the deer trapped in the headlights look of my co-workers as they back toward the treeline looking for safety!
What’s your process and how does it work?
Well, my writing is very boom, boom, boom, done. I usually find myself in the sewing hut with Bruderlein when something ridiculous will just pop into my head- be it a name for the outfit, a personal struggle with the outfit or just how the whole thing makes me feel. My husband says my blog is the closest to the real me that anyone outside of my tiny circle ever gets to see. I’m really an introvert that has a much more vibrant inner monologue than real life- where everything at work is by the letter of the law and very mature.  I’m a little bit Walter Mitty-ish in this way.
Once I get my idea it all just rushes out and I just try to keep the train on course. I’ve often greeted my photo-hubs with ‘Ok, I need there to be trees, maybe a salad bar and this can of tuna needs to be in most of the shots. Is my facing tucked in?’ He just shrugs and starts driving.  I try not to over edit myself- it makes it feel like I’m not really having a conversation with the reader. I like it to feel like I’m just chatting over a magazine on Wednesdays with some friends and cookies.

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Now, when I have my cookies, lap pup and coffee all set, who do I like to read? I have 2 blogs in mind. When I read these 2 gals I wish that they lived on my street and that I could just  pop in, plant myself in their lives and enjoy. Now this is a bit of a sneak attack- I didn’t warn them. Oops.

I giddily nominate:

Gjeometry! I love her soul and I love that while her blog features a good deal of prancing with an animal side kick, we are the opposites in writing style. Her posts are so meticulously planned, written and executed that I always leave it inspired and enthused. Nobody hosts a giveaway like she and Kitty!

Coco’s Loft!  Coco inspires my sewing with her casual elegance and her beautiful spirit. Her fabric choices are always enviable and she has made me want to grow in style and taste. Oh, I’d also love to live in her garden.

Now go visit these lovelies and feel their muse pull you in!

 

 

 

photo credits:google images, Pinterest, Sew Busy Lizzy, Coco’s Loft, Gjeometry. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesaday Sally LaPointe


This is all over the place. In that almost good way. Shoes? Kind of Bing Crosby. I also love that it has Velcro panels for hanging stray socks until you find their mates.

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Um, huh….well. Yeah, I’d be mad too.

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Ladies, lets put our bodice trays in the upright position, we are preparing for take off.

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These next bust darts are for you, Mrs Mole:

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Back in  9th grade I used to buy this foundation color. Not so good.

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I like- unless you tell me the fringe is coming from her tail or something.

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Is it backwards, or does she just wish she were walking away?

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photo credits:style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.