Wearable Wednesday Gary Graham


I am loving this collection. I want to steal every piece- no. I want to exchange the pieces for a sandwich for the model.

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Am I crazy? I really love these fabrics.

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I don’t think i could carry this look off- but I want to lure the model to a Taco Bell and steal her clothing!

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I know it’s crazy! She’s wearing a zip collar hamster, but I love it!!

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Tell me I’m not alone- tell me you want a Romanian floor lamp something or other, too!

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Come on starving model, how can you be the saddest cat toy in this fabulous thing???

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Look!! It’s like a Gunne Sac funeral petting zoo outfit!!! I’m so smitten!

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No, sweetie- hang the drapes- not hang IN the drapes?!

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photo credits:style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Blind Dates and Love Matches in the Textile Hoarding Closet!


Ah me, the pressure, THE PRESSURE!!  I’m sure I don’t have to- and it would be most immodest for me to mention, that I am receiving my proper due from the masses this week- I am one of the elite 900 runnerS up on the Best Bloggers of 2015. I will try to maintain my modest nature and not brag about the huge endorsement deals I am receiving constantly!  Why, just yesterday, I was behind the grocery store and I was digging for dented and expired cans of peaches and the stock boy who was smoking nearby said, ‘Do you like that? Take it’.

See? the perks just keep rolling in!!

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It’s becoming hard to leave the house without a throng of well-worshippers clamouring for my attention. Mostly at traffic lights when I am busy struggling with my cookie bag and people insist on driving around me honking and waving. Can’t I get any privacy? Does my public own me????
So with the whole world watching- what to sew? More importantly, what to BLOG??? I have no idea what category I was most celebrated in- I assume it dealt with my naturally red hair, amazing style and ability to properly interpret the instructions on the same tunic I make over and over again. Well, I’m going to wing it and assume that you are here for the same thing you always show up for. A cautionary tale about sewing without a plan!!

Because of my constant need to adopt statement piece fabric- I end up with a lot of lonely garments. A skirt that matches nothing but a black tee and a cardigan (crazy art teacher chic) and I feel like I’m copping out.

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I hate sewing a gorgeous gaudy rag and realizing it only matches black pants. Ugh. I hate wardrobe staples. I know that’s stupid, but when I whip out the black pants, I feel like I’m compromising my tacky vision. Oh, the torment of a closet full of butterflies that aren’t getting to properly spread their wings. Are you holding your breath? Are you waiting for me to acknowledge that sewing without a plan is stupid and leads to a closet of regret? Take a breath. I can’t do it. I’m still true to my crazy inner child. I decided instead to host a dating service for all my separates. Yes. You hear me. I brought all my lonelyheart skirts into the sewing area, hung them on the design rod and started playing matchmaker in my textile hoarding closet. I started out with this Vogue 1092 from 2013.

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That top neckline was annoying, so I don’t wear the skirt so much. A shame- it is really a nice shape and I’m proud of how it came together. But all is not lost! There is someone for everyone! I’m not sure whose Mom said that first, but it’s always true.

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Cue the violins- Its time for a love connection! Mccalls 6991- She’s a smart sophisticated gal who likes late dinners, meetings and the restless poetry of Gordon Lightfoot! Sometimes you just know when you put the right couple together- you know? I used a very sheer chiffon and I hate the muddy look of a facing behind it, so I finished the neckline in bias tape. I also have 70’s flashbacks of Mackenzie Phillips when I see tab roll up sleeves- I kept them long and did a little baby hem.

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I’m not totally sold on my decorative button- it will do until the right one comes along tho. I may just brooch up.

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Call the minister? Is this the perfect couple? No! I see a dark horse candidate!  This Vogue is still deciding! Date #1 is fine, but not appealing to her more playful side.

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Enter Date #2- a stretchy somethin’ meets the same chiffon to make a summer Style Arc Rosie. Her turn ons include movies, trips to the flea market and Jane Austen. Well, Vogue- which blouse will it be? To me this seems like the 2nd choice. It feels too boxy and flopsy and not so flattering. It looks like it’s died on my torso.  It will probably get worn with jeans and a statement pair of turquoise ballet flats. Sorry, Rosie. I’m not more enthused about you than last time. My last one was a hair too tight, so I made a few width adjustments. The other fit, but just felt like it was a bit too friendly with my back fat. I like a hover feeling from my clothes, you knows? This is too hovery. Skipping the back seam gave me additional ease, but left we wanting to shape it more. I don’t think it matches the envelope picture much at all.

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See what I mean? I think it’s boxier and less lengthening, you know what I’m getting at? I used a bias edging again, to give it some structure- the crinkly crepe was pretty unstable. See- these dating shows always have to feature one unstable contestant to keep it interesting! I do love that lineny skirt, but maybe it’s wrinklesomeness may also be adding to its lack of outside the closet time! We shall see!

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Tune in next time to see a untamable wrap skirt meet her dream date and perhaps have a textile menage a trois with a cardigan with a devilish gleam in its eye!

photo credits: google images, pattern review, meadhawg. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Red Valentino


And then Eloise starting hanging around behind the Plaza…..

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I’m Veruca Salt and I want a goose that lays golden eggs!

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I’m so afraid that a Fanning is being coaxed into this outfit right now!!!

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Yeah, I thought it was her hair at first, too.

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Oh please, somebody remake Taxi Driver and have Iris wear this!!!!!

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Oh, no…..it’s a onsie……

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It takes a lot of skill to make tweed billow….

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photo credits:style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Vionnet


Shut up- they keep my thighs warm when  I bike to work! v1 Where to start, where to start…..her toes are huge!!! The yeti slippers are very much detracting from her icey blue mode. v2 Some  mean girls stole her ascot and her lunch money! v3 Look, I keep some clothing for sentimental reasons, but Honey, it’s time to throw away the sleeper Nana made you in 4th grade. You will thank me.

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Poor Alice- her prom dress didn’t meet the schools dress code, so they made her wear whatever was in the lost and found. v5

The static built up by these pants is graciously powering the office of 2 non profit groups. Models- they give back! v6

She is wearing the same thing as my Aunt Trixie’s guest bathroom was during the 70’s!! v7

Oh, come on, did you think I’d completely ignore the ‘pencil boxes’?? http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=trapped+in+a+box+youtube&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=3F3C1C061375BE71FF1D3F3C1C061375BE71FF1D photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Burda 7320 It’s not what you think!


Burda. You started out as the bad boy who treated me rough, but I just couldn’t stop seeing. We made friends and as you know, I started to meet you routinely at the malt shoppe. Shy glances turned to seeking you out in the bins. I’m smitten. Well, it’s come to its natural conclusion some of you may cluck behind your fans. I feel like Rizzo. All you Sandra Dee girls better stop judging me and making your false accusations!

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Yes, I sewed a maternity dress, but it’s not what you think!!! I just loved the pleat detail and the extra paunch room! Stop trying to pin that Scarlet letter to my cheetah hoodie! I’m still unsullied!!!

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Now check out my non-fertile frock, please. I’ve been wanting to make this for a long time, but everytime I’d grab the pattern, I’d worry that it would look ungainly or that it would scream ‘isn’t that maternity?’ for all to see. I have no need for a maternity dress. To put it daintily, my shape is more of a wraparound porch design than a central portico.
So I threw caution to the wind and made up the skirt portion of this in a gorgeous Marc Jacobs fabric that I have been crooning to for a year or so. I put it on the lovely Ms Holloway and studied it while I watched The Poseidon Adventure with Bruderlein. A plan formed.
I took the original front pleats and pulled them up from the center front into a narrower inverted ‘V’ and put the bodice together; lengthening it just an inch to keep the heaviness of the pleats closer to my hips than rib cage. Less empire waist to fool the baby doll dress hating husband!

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It passed the sit test and didn’t give the impression that 45 miniature boy scouts were about to come out of my bellybutton area and make a cozy campfire in front of their new favorite tent structure.

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I sit a lot at work and a dress that creates a tent structure at my gut would get annoying and catch crumbs!? Ok, so far so good. I don my science project and go to the den for a husband critique. He stops looking at food porn online to give the royal ‘thumbs up/thumbs down’.
He likes it!!!! Take that, Burda! I win!

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Now, one more detail to show- check out this lining- I know the purple doesn’t match, but it was handy and I wasn’t sure this would work anyway. Burda has you line the bodice and then conceal the armscye edges with bias. My lining material was too woodgy, so I used premade in purple- it was better than the yellow I had- purple at least looks like a semi-plan!

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I won’t lie- it has some bodice fit issues. The fabric is a heavy stretch and great to work with but it wasn’t  loving being eased into princess seams. I will be returning to the machine for that wrestle this week. It also is quite maternal in a high wind. We kept having to wait on wind for pictures. I was my own windsock!

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Oh, I love these little shoulder awning sleeves- and oh, I know you are admiring my Disney Couture crystal Mickey necklace and earrings! I am way stylish, as you know. In honor of my foolishness- enjoy an oddly appropriate Fanny Brice tribute from Babs:

photo credits: meadhawg, pattern review, youtube, getty images. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Meanwhile, back at the Safari base-


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I just can’t let this happy time go! I’ve loved all the friends and the fun and the fierce! Let’s see some more, with a literary accompaniments!

SHE-TIGER*

She-Tiger patiently watches,
In shadows,
Dark concealing realm,
Green eyes pierce nights,
Blackening shroud.

Marianne welcome!!! I love that jacket!

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Ever weary, seeking motions,
Movements,
Beware the bush itself seems,
To come alive,
Beneath moonlights twilight mists,
Heavy foot steps cautiously,
Tread.

Elle The mighty Swap-zebra emerges!!! Yes, I’m jealous!

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Traveling along a carnalistic path,
Deaths servant stalks it’s prey.
Revealing raw natures twisted fate,
In her flashing gaze, ageless,
Wisdom lies,
This huntress most majestic.

Ebi- I think this is your moment!! Go baby, go!

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Sleek jungle mistress, fearlessly,
Striding.

This year facebook entered the jungle and new stylish friends were made! Yvonne:

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Forgotten trails cutting,
Edges unyielding,
Patrolling vast wilderness.
Drink deeply clear waters purity,
No other creature dares,
Come near thee.

Elaine is back!! She is making a serious jungle migration of style!

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Forests chameleon, hidden,
Amongst bamboo thickets.
Camouflages golden blends,
Are parted,
By divisions striped bands.

NIc- you are bringing us some very cool vibes!

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Feeding legacies future brood.
Crowns glorious jewels,
Young cubs at play,
Learning life’s lessons to be,
Remembered someday.

Kate and her herd is back!

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Rough dull stones at first,
Finely polished y age,
One day they’ll sparkle,
Under sunshine’s rays.
Royalties queen, stands tall,
Upon prides rock,
Surveying an evergreen,
Kingdom.*

You know those scenes in the adventure movies where the plane has to leave or all of humanity will be destroyed? But you love the team member left behind and you weep along with the survivors until you see that no, of course thy made it! Of course they are in the jeep enjoying the group hug and heroic glow of a job well done? Well, I’d like to say I planned such a thing, but I just missed one. But lets play along shall we?  To spare my embarrassment, mkay? Good.

Hey, everybody! It’s Kate!!! How could we party without her?

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Photo credits: Ebi, Nic, Katie, Elaine, Elle, Kate. all images remain the property of the original owners.
*poetry by Cheryl Dunn

Wearable Wednesday Samuji


Come on everybody and do the Amish Stomp!!

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This is….um…well….unfortunate.

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I’d like this if I didn’t feel like the model was trying to threaten me from beyond.

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Is this photoshopped? Is her head really attached to her body? CYBORG!!!!!

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‘…and when they looked at the scheduling book- they discovered the model had never been there at all!!!’ – Spooky Stories from Karl Lagerfeld’s Summercamp for Overindulged Youths

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Sad Angular Clown Collection 2015

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I think she’s trying to morph back to the Mother Ship!!!

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Don’t mind me- I just haunt this studio.

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photo credits:style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.