Wearable Wednesday Kilian Kerner


‘Please forgive me Thurston, but I just feel that if you marry Rhonda, you will come to a bad end…’

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I hate to get all hung up on pattern placement, but this seems unfortunate.

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Welcome to Our Lady of Shapelessness. Sister Bernice will help you into your sack cloth.

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‘No Celeste, I will NOT hold your cat while you go on the runway again’

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There was something hot and sinister about Maggie the arc welder…..

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Why, just why?

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photo credits: style.com.All images remain the property of their original owners.

Lekala 5852- not the best start to a relationship


Lets set a tone, shall we?  Just play this while you read. I’ll supply the rest.

‘Blue Muumuu- you saw me standing alone-

Without a shape to my dress, perhaps more gut than I own…..’

I chose a Russian cover because Lekala is part of my issue today. 5852 to be precise. A company that produces some lovely and interesting patterns based on the measurements you provide- they are plentiful, they are inexpensive, whats not to love? I thoroughly enjoyed not making my usual upper neckline narrowing and other quasi-modiste adjustments I do- that was a little blessing!

Now forgive me for being critical, I enjoy looking at the Lakala site for good ideas and oh, some truly classy looks. Oh, Svetlana!

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I think that the sewist must provide a judicious eye and a smidge of good taste to make this relationship work. I brought neither.

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Ok, Ignore the darts that practically wink at you- I thought this looked like a cool little summer frock that I would prance in  and bring joy to the hearts of all that saw me- like I know I do. I’m wrong here. It lives up to the sad adage: ‘Just cuz they make it in your size, doesn’t mean you should wear it’.  Sorry, Svetlana, this will not attract the eye of the big tippers.

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I can’t show it to you yet- let me whine a bit more. I totally did not understand the instructions. I am a sewist that reads, studies the pictures and then on occasion summons a priest or a wise elder- you know who you are, Ma’am! Couldn’t find more than 1 version out there in websville. There were no real hints for me. Ok, that in itself is a hint. Step away from the muumuu. I just winged it. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I removed the upper flap on the envelope yoke- it looked bad with the pattern print cut up so much. Sacrifice for Marc Jacobs.

Plusses:

it’s quite comfortable- but hey, thats the ultimate muumuu wearing excuse, isn’t it?

I enjoyed sewing it. SWELL! I could have made placemats with that attitude.

This fabric has been waiting for it’s moment for about 2 years. It’s the infamous Marc Jacobs bow fabric. It needs a pattern with minimal print breakup. I kept thinking I’d make that circle skirted gamine frock that it screams to be- which is odd- since the Jacobs is not so…..Sandra Dee. Doesn’t he look comfortable?

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This pattern is perfect for the print and I even matched the print on my side seams- . It even matches my new Birthday  Betsey Johnson bow earrings from Mr B! So this should be a good thing, right?

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Ok, enough dawdling. Let’s rock this muuumuu!

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Before I get into the details, I’d like to tell you that I have toes. I know it looks like I have hooves here, but I swear, the shoes are a pale pink and so am I.

ok, I believe that the pattern wanted you to grab that center front pleat in a spot between my belly button and those darts and that would give it some definition. Um, yeah, no. That made it puff up like a decorative cloth napkin when I sat down. Seriously, I was like the credits to Game of Thrones. So I tried it in 3 more spots. Not instead of, but in addition to.

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I also note that this yokey thing in the front makes it look like my bosom was a mail accepting portal to Santa. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. But, I can’t be responsible for letting him know you want a pony. The pattern wants you to secure it with a decorative button, but I haven’t found just the one. I’m not sure it will help-

Lord, these pictures, I look like he grumpiest chubbster at the fair. I swear I ironed it- but Lord, it was another toasty day in Southern hell.

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This dress is a slippery slope to sewing clothes with no body definition. I am so comfortable in it, I’m willing to overlook the obviously unflattering shape and just go for it. Damn, it feels good to not suck in. BUT. I turned 45 today. Perhaps all this wisdom in my seasoned soul is just making me pissy. That could be it. I can’t leave you on this note. I must find an upnote. I have other patterns waiting on me in the sewing chamber- this Slavic mishap will not stop the gaudy- I will return with something that makes me happy. It may just be ice cream.

I love this fabric- I also love the movie Pale Face- I mean really, it’s my go to karaoke song- if I actually sang in front of anyone but Bruderlein! Enjoy Frasier with me:

photo credits: pinterest, little me, Lekala, google images.

Wearable Wednesday Marina Hoermanseder


A subtle buckle can add class and style to a basic shape.

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A subtle buckle can add class and style to a basic shape.

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Ok, back to normalcy- this coat is lovely!

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Hey- you in the back- sit like your Mama taught you!

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‘Don’t think about the chafing, Fiona, just get thru it’ she thought furiously.

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Well, at least she doesn’t have VPL.

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No, wait- seriously?

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From a distance the pigeons thought they saw cracker crumbs- Antonia needed 4 years of therapy to even be able to walk past a bird cage after that.

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of the original owners.

Gingham saves the day?


Gauchos.

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Wait- that’s too strict of an interpretation. I’m an 80’s kid. For me the name conjures up now horrible imagery of corduroy evil worn by Dana Plato on Different Strokes. God how I loved her clothes! He puffed sleeve acrylic sweaters with little string tied blouses and oh yes, her quilted gaucho pants with yes, oh yes! The matching vests!!!!

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Oh, be still my 11-year-old heart. I wanted her clothing so much. Don’t even get me started on her barrettes. Oh, the envy that only an 11-year-old with home cut bangs can understand. Sigh. I digress. I’m over her now. Gauchos are not to blame for Dana’s unfortunate end, they were the least of her bad choices. So why are we here today, Cuddlies? I have returned to the gaucho zone. But in a much more temperate way.

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No 3 caballeros here, more of a stylish citified lady- you know the type.
I got this GORGEOUS stripey business from a lovely blogger and I have been wanting to show it off in a way that suited it’s repeating pattern without too much breakup. Breakups are bad, you know that. Sniff, sniff. Oh, look, Oh look it’s a whole flock of patterns McCall’s is wooing me with by the pattern bins at the Hancock fabric. Yes. yes, maybe, yes, no- ok. Wait- how did this get in the buggy? 7133- really? IS that model as my Mother would say, ‘NAVAL STREAKING?’   

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Why is this in my buggy? I only know 1 style icon that can pull this bare midriff off in all situations:

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Preach it, Winnie!

So I made the pants, but not that top! Maybe for another day…yeah, no. I followed the instructions, except for 1 little thing- I put the zip on the side. I just find it more comfortable there. But other than that, no changes. Other than some narrowing in of the waist, they didn’t require any major changes. Perhaps I’m not the deformed troll i think I am…nyah.
I wore the pants/culottes/whatevers to work with a pale pink top for contrast and it was just not there for me. I wasn’t getting the whole ‘The heavens opened up and I walked thru the office while blue birds chirped and the other girls melted in a sticky puddle of ensembles envy’ feeling. Seriously. If you get dressed in your new outfit and the mirror avoids your eyes, it’s time to put the jammies back on, you know? So what to do, what to do!
Pinterest. Yes, while you consider your life, scroll thru other peoples, right? Right. Look at what I found! Stella Jean to inspire and delight my beigey soul.

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STELLLAAAAAAAA!!!
You knew that was coming. Look at these! Aren’t they amazing? A plan formed. A gingham plan. Now I’m not huge on the gingham. White based fabrics don’t move me and I worry it is too missish for me. Hmm….can saucy faux redheads wear the gingham? Lets pray to the patron saint of Henna- sass for guidance.

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Yes!!!!
Ok- we are cooking now!

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Mccalls  7133, please meet your dream date- a top I have made numerous times and love to death. Simplicity 1806.

I am literally in my sassy pants this morning and could not be more pleased!

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I did iron all this, but quite frankly, it’s only 9:30 in the morning and this lettuce leaf is already wilted?!  I could have spent more time smoothing out the top while I pranced around the yard, but did I mention it was hotter than the devils jacuzzi this morning?

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These pictures may look pretty good, but here’ s a pic from the first 200 shots- before my hair fell and I started looking sticky, of course. Dang I looked thin in these pics…..

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photo credits: style.com, pinterest, google images, little me, pattern review. .all images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Alberta Ferretti


I’m in a drool state. If I love the rest as Im loving this fabric- I’ll be dehydrated by the 4th design!?

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oooh……making Homer Simpson noises now……

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Not so keen on the doll lingerie in the middle, but send me the other two, please!

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Wait- are those Rockys gold briefs under there?

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I’m on the battenberg fence over these two- kind of matchy matchy for me.

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Now this is my kind of matchy matchy!

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Hey, Olsen twins, did you see these?

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photo credits: style.com.all images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday House of Holland


I’m having a flash back to the times when Mom would try to get just a few more months out of pants I had outgrown….

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They took our souls and gave us these flip flops.

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I’d like to discuss her leather bandaid top, but I can’t get past the weird creepy optical illusion of her feet- are they on backward?

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There was one doll that was even lonelier than Edith.

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IS the one on the left actually curling her lip in  disgust??

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Ok, so maybe you can be unhappy while thinking about llamas. I stand corrected and shocked.

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photo credits: style.com.all images remain the property of their original owners.

Butterick 6168…the end of a Bad Run


This month the whimsical gods of good taste have packed up their skivvies and shuffled off to Buffalo. Seriously. Everything I have cut out I have been remorseful about later.
Plaid? Are those plaid pants? Oh Criminy Pete! They are plaid gauchos!!!! Holy Cindy Lauper, this is like a kool aid fueled fever dream of bad taste!

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Wait- does that have a yoke front and sash tie? On my body? I’ll look like Holly Hobbies slutty cousin Whorey Boobie!
How can a steady sewing room viewing diet of Unsolved Mysteries, 40’s movies and Masterpiece Theatre lead to such bad ideas? Soon fabric on local shelves will start telling stories of the horrors of Soren Drive!

‘She was a beautiful soft challis- without a care in the world- until the monster came! With her barky dogs rolling on innocent textiles  and her weird ideas about sleeve gathering! Better that challis had never been bought at all than to have such a tacky fate!!’

‘What did she make, Grandma Crepe?’

‘I can’t speak of it! For once you’ve seen it- it haunts your dreams!!!’
So even tho I’ve been so I’ve been very busy and so so productive, I haven’t felt much pride of accomplishment. Do you do this? Sew but not show? Do you ever make stuff that isn’t a wadder, but isn’t a wonder? I refuse to blog for the blogging sake- you all should be glad I don’t force you to find neutral niceties to say to about my less than glad rags!
Well, here is the least upsetting- a happy ending -Butterick 6168.

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The new and very pretty Lisette. Its borderline for me. Easy to make, easy to wear, flowy. Whats my problem? I wince at sash ties so I left them off. One view leaves them off, so I wasn’t really cheating. Just short-sighted. They really help give this shape. Especially if you are a founding member of the zip skip brigade.  It made it a wee bit boxy so some back darts were added.  I love this fabric tho. Hows that? It’s challis and summery and bright and the yellow doesn’t make my liver look like it isn’t processing bile correctly. That’s always a plus. In fact, remember that quote so when you are stuck looking at a blog post a garment that is making you sad and the wearer is looking for feedback- you can politely tell them:

The yellow makes your liver look like it is processing bile correctly and I love your garden area!
You are now off the hook- you have a surefire comment for when the ‘like’ button just isn’t enough to say ‘I appreciate your effort and you’ve spelled everything correctly please don’t make me say anything else- your work scares me and I want your sewing machine freed from your talentless clutches’. Don’t thank me. I’m here to help you all.

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Please admire once more my hubs hops area. I can’t pose on the other side of the house- the local hooligans are playing basketball and they scare me. At 10 these kids are already cooler than I have ever been able to claim. They barely move when I drive my car thru their hoops area to get to my garage. In fact, they stare at the car like I am a goofy tourist on a nature preserve. I picture them as rhinos with sleeveless t-shirts and sunglasses- barely tolerating me as I squeak past- dipping their chins at me perceptively and muttering “S’up” at me with the minimal respect that they give to the attendant that brings them their juice boxes. I know that the chubby lady in the fiat with the dogs that look like miniature Beatle wigs is not impressive to them, but gees- they are intimidating! I stick to the not sporting side of the yard at least until the playoffs end and they go inside for chicken nuggets.

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I think the darts really helped- it creates a nice waistline for me, but it can get a little poochy on the exhale- you know what I mean? I have some slight bagging between the shoulder blades and the back fat cutlets- not sure what caused that- too long in the back bodice?

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Now, as a testament to how I am committed to honesty- I shall exhale fully and let you see how gappy the cross-over can get- I give it a 40SPF on the bustal glare scale. Thank you hot pink camisole.

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I wonder how this would be as a maxi dress? Maybe it would feel less girly-girly and feel more appropriate to the mutton it’s encasing! As usual, the tripod was being a butt and I refuse to ask for help- until things so totally awry. Here’s an attempt at a full length shot-

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I did some of my usual fit adjustments, lowering 1 shoulder slightly, dropping the back neckline a hair and I set the crossover pleats on Ms Holloway- I think it all worked. I’ve worn it  twice and expect for feeling that it’s a little youngish for me, I really like it. I can’t help thinking that there is a companion American Girl pattern out there for matching tea events. I’m a Samantha girl, in case you wondered. I think we have the same feelings about velvet.

photo credits: little me, pattern review. All images remain the property of their original owners.