Vogue 1152 and the reluctant model


So today I had a meltdown with my photog. See? I’m just like the poor models I feature weekly. I suffer. I suffer mightily.

But first, let me say that In the last two weeks I have sewn like it would make the gaudy unicorn of my soul come alive and let me ride it to the cavern of endless gelato. We all have our dreams, maybe you find mine silly, but world peace has its goofy aspects too, I’m sure. I’ve been thinking summer and work and how I can mesh them safely. I finally made Vogue 1152   and I want to pull out my obviously dyed hair when I think of how long i had it as a bench warmer and never put it in the game!?  I love it!!! I was afraid of that gathered area in the front and I’m not totally sold on piping, so I only did 2 piping lanes. Look at my adorable Betsey Johnson necklace! Sorry, distracted by my own bright shiny objects for a minute there.

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Ready for my list of changes?

Why is there a side zip in a dress with an elastic back insert? Forget that zipper. I say no. I also tried to give this a bit more of a high/low mullet thing. Mulletts are way friendly to the seated worker. The back is not in the way and the front doesn’t puddle up in your lap and lose stray m&ms while you work. Ah, the things I know.

Here’s Quasimodo heading for the belltower, secure the children!

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I also am a silent sufferer of FFFD. Yes, I have Fatally Floppy Facing Disorder and if I fool with one too long in a silky material I have to take medication. It’s true. I have a special parking permit for it. Don’t judge me, be encouraged by my honesty and brave use of self bias. Please note that once more Vogue thinks I want full rib cage exposure. I raised this one 2 inches and will still be exhibiting major tank top yardage. Whats up with that Vogue?

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Can you tell I’m trying to grow my hair out like my favorite demure blossom, Carol? So I have to go thru shaggy to get to wispy. Yup. Rough hair times ahead. I’m thinking I’ll look more like Darryl for a few weeks.

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Ok, I really like this top/tunic business and I must say, I am on the look out for more fabric to play with for this. I love this print, but its diagonal EKG pattern makes it look like it’s pulling at bust and lower back and I swear it isn’t. I am truly comfy in this- and felt really good until the picture taking started?!

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Ok, now- my meltdown. My husband takes beautiful pictures. He can see beauty in the most dilapidated structures and and overgrown locations. So he’s perfect for documenting little me, right?

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No. He is so mindful of the technical aspects that he freaks me out! I get so tense and uncomfortable when he runs a photo shoot like a NASA mission launch.Honestly, if the flash doesn’t go off, I expect him to scream ‘Abort! Abort!’ and dive under the car. It doesn’t make me feel pretty. You know? It’s really the only time that we are not totally on the same page. All my internal prepping to face a camera is out the window in the face of his sighing and looking at me like he is taking CSI pics and can’t fit my tortured entrails and the little cones completely in the shot. Maybe we both need to drink before and during the shoots. Whats focus really matter anyway, right? Just use your imagination! What are your tips for taking pictures when you really just don’t feel it?

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photo credits: pattern review, meadhawg, google images

Wearable Wednesday Faith Connexion


I need to know what the photographer said to these models.

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Hey!!

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No! Like you have no bones at all!

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Now Chicken dance like it will cure cancer!

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BE the Hot, sexy preying mantis at a disco!

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Pose like you are passing a kidney stone…of ennui!

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Show me: Your stepmother just ran off with your weed dealer!

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Show me: Semi-repentant shoplifter of fate!

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Now, seduce your enemy with  je june!

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Now run thru a glitter sand storm to save a chupacabra!

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

SUMMER- you fickle beast!


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Spring in South Carolina- it’s about a week- a brief snap between ‘should I fasten my coat?’ and ‘Ladies don’t get butt sweat’. It doesn’t leave much time for adjustment. This year it’s happened at least twice already. The local trashy things don’t know whether to wear camo or a tank top- all the back and forth temperature is very confusing. Now add a self-imposed fabric buying ban and a few put-off remodel chores and you get one Anne off her game.

I’ve done that ‘sewing you’ll never see’ thing. Tops I had cut out and are now boring me. I’ve gotten so ‘tunic/leggings-centric’ that I can’t envision what summer means to me work clotheswise. I’m realizing I’m not a dirndl girl- sorry Mr B- I can’t be your brew pub staff in your dream brewery!

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I don’t feel sundressy.  I still feel tunicy! You know I’m drawn toward the flowing feel of gorgeous Eastern design. But how do I keep from looking a little costumy on me? I am not an exotic flower!

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I don’t think I can sit like this at work, either.  A good compromise?

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I love this- good shape, detail, lightweight:

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Ralph Lauren knows classy- maybe I can get a border print to Annie this up a bit….a few weeks ago I wore one color and one of our guest ambassadors stopped me and asked if I knew I was only wearing solid grey. Like she thought I was experiencing an alien takeover!

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Ok, how about this Zandra Rhodes? Too much for work? I know Lagenlook is too much for me- too many layers drapped on this dainty barrel. But this has flow, scarf edging, funky details-

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I’m dithering and only keeping you awake with the pictures, I’m sure. Ok, digression time. This- I love this:

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This all day with slim pants or leggings- oh, I’m happy and I think work appropriate. But it’s 9000 degrees here in summer and people will start to wonder if I had the complete works of Vonnegut tattooed on each leg and must cover it up. But in a work setting, I feel naked and not quite professional without sheer hosiery- if the skirt is above my calves. Even tho I’m surrounded by people doing it all day long.  But not my leadership group- who aren’t older than I am, but still…..this dress feels like it needs a little more coverage for me to be comfortable hopping up and down in meetings, visiting offices, whatever it is I do all day. I may be alone here, but let me say- I’m not constantly judging the hosiery-less. I’m envying them their freedom.

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But when I try a shorter skirt without it- I feel NAKED!!!!

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Fun blog post     So what say Ladies? Where do you fall in the hosiery fight? Do you curb your style to your environment? What about the heat? Do you bother?

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photo credits: pattern review, style.com, pinterest,google images. All images remain the property of their original owner.

Wearable Wednesday Guilietta


Ok, I think we have found some inspiration  here!  Check out this bodice:g2

Am I crazy? Is this special? Am I just shoe dazzled?

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Yes, please. Pattern placement making me very inspired!

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This tailored retro uniformy thing is really working for me! Anyone else?

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Look. At. This.Coat!

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Squint in at this little hip detail! Even if it gives her polterwang, it’s still good!g5

I’m so enamored of these shapes that I can even forgive a bibbed James Brown onsie!

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I even want the designers outfit! Take my pulse- Im way too happy about all this!!g7

photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday The Blonds


2015 is the year I start taking my workout seriously!

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That Jared Leto- you never know where he’ll pop up!

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Sadly for Eunice, the Vatican has little appreciation for theme dressing.

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Repeatedly Jasmine begged her mother to wait in the station wagon with Jafaar.

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Please can I have this coat? Please?!

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Alice liked to think of herself as any parties centerpiece.

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

How I ruined Spring Break


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Once upon a time there was a lovely princess who liked to spend her time going charity work and basically cheering the locals with her presence. She was a simple girl, she liked to be surrounded by chiffon and her personal jester.

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Spring break descended and all the court physicians went on noble quests to ski resorts and to do selfless acts at tropical resorts. This left the princess too much time to think. So instead of spinning straw into gaudy, she plotted. She searched the sacred text for things that appealed.

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Oh, no, just no. I can’t show that off!

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That would be pressing my luck with the pups!

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Ok, even I don’t have time for that! Hmm…..Ermagerd!!!!

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Oh, yes!!

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This is for show of course, I don’t use such things.

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Alright, I have the whole weekend and we’re off to Lowes. How long could this take? I like to be in bed by 9 or so and the Scientology docu is on HBO sunday evening. No problem.As you know, nothing is easy. Me B has been trekking to the Lowes so often he is confused for staff- altho he is often more helpful! My one weekend project turned into a week of torture only enlivened by the newly gained knowledge that eating spackle does not kill your dog- it only makes them more stupid. 

 

I have been in the cycles of hell- paint, touch up, paint ceiling, touch up trim, re edge walls, repeat until you finally paint ‘all work and no play makes Anne a dull girl’ all over every surface. 

Long and painful story short, I went from this strangely pig bellied colored cave:

  

A color that made putting on makeup impossible! I’d see myself as Audrey Hepburn, but really be Baby Jane Hudson!?

  

Totally hot, amiright? With more pinterest consult, the ultimate neutral for small windowless spaces that if not for a toilet and shelving could be closets- Courtyard Shadow! Yes, the description of the sculking groundskeeper in a Christie novel is my color of choice!  

 

Ooh, ahhhhh. Boring. Well, it is what it is. Ok, let’s wrap this up with the fancy reveal! 

   

   

I’m not usually a seafarin’ gal, but mermaid librarian prints set the whole thing off:

   

 

For the keen of eye, yes, I have one more bit of touch up by the shower curtain, but I will have to get back to that. I owe Ms Holloway some attention. She is cutting her eyes at me! She needs her skirt.

 

Happy Easter everyone!

Photo credits: pinterest, little me. 

Wearable Wednesday- Creatures of the Wind


Little know facts: Zombie models LOVE tailoring- they are drawn to it.

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Peggy casually entered the prison visiting room- smug in the knowledge that her knotted bedsheet ladder had made it past the guards and almost to her boyfriend Vinnie- he was so close to freedom!

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Drunks often confused Enid for the bathroom at Studio 54. It was unfortunate for her drycleaner.

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Miss Barkley was always trying to find new ways to explain cell division to her students.

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Wandas nervous habit of twisting her shirttail when stressed did her no favors at the poker table.

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Fiona was always trying to subtley bring her County Fair win into conversations. She was avoided by all the former judges in the grocery store.

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Yeah, I’d be pissed off too.

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.