Bruderlein

Pattern Pyramid Pile Award Ceremony- live from the Drawing Area!

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Ah, awards night! Rich with tradition, formality and dignity.The team from Price Waterhouse have arrived and it is time for the selection of the first Pattern Pyramid Pile winner. The air is thick with tension, nerves strain as our honored selector moves into position on the selection altar/coffee table. Bruderlein has been training for this for his entire life! His impartiality is second only to his love of fairness and equality…ok, whatever, he’s a dog.Our team here at The Grievances have placed each name facedown on the selection altar/coffee table and it is being further masked by a small piece of purina senior cat diet indoor formula**.

On with the selection!Oh, it’s a melee! The Price Waterhouse reps are storming the selection altar/coffee table! Please keep your seats as security works to control the situation.Oh, the carnage! Not since the MTV video awards of 1998 has such barbarity ensued during a time-honored presentation. This crap NEVER happens at the Nobel awards?! It’s a dark day for humanity say I.Alright, the names have now been entered into my saturday night chapeau and a new drawing will commence. We appreciate your patience and during this time we ask you to take a moment to reflect, so that when your grandchildren ask you where you were on the day of the…

FIRST PATTERN PYRAMID PILE DRAWING!!

you will be ready with fresh images and feelings about the…..Oh! Oh! We have a winner!!!We request that    Velosewer!      please email me to begin the glorious mailing process and life of rich envy that our winner has entered into. Thank you everyone and as we leave the Dorothy Chandler Pavillion, please  drive safely and remember to tip your waiter.

**Please note, no endorsements were accepted and no applicants are named Ralston or Purina or are themselves senior indoor cats, that we know of**

photo credits: meadhawg, google images

Burda Blouse and prezzies, but wait there’s more!

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Ok, class, quiet down, we have much to cover today!I tried to use some stash material this week. I did, I really did. I’ve had this mold-inspired floral cottony stuff in the closet for a few months- by the way- it has the distinction of being the ‘ugliest fabric I’ve ever seen you wear’ according to my sainted Mother. That is saying something if you know the woman who dressed me during my formative years. But enough about my need for therapy- lets talk about the blouse!Burda must have farmed out the instructions to another company- it was so easy! I may have made a misstep at the front neck facing- it seemed sort of clumsy- I think that I will redraft it into fewer pieces for next time- cuz there will be a next time. I think it needs a little tapering at the sides- it’s perhaps a bit boxier than necessary. Can you go wrong with something that matches your saddle shoes so well? The Husband proclaimed it a perfect Disney blouse- it looked ‘cool and comfortable’. Maybe I’ll make him one, too. We can look like Hansel and Gretel- a Grimm tale of over-eating! But I want to talk about more important things than my love of spore blouses. I got prezzies in the mail from Funnygrrl!Look- is my new pincushion wristlet not the end all? I believe that it is. I have much reading to do!! This book is great! Thank you!! Thank you!!

So the spirit of giving has entered my tiny soul and I must expel it quickly…..So I want to start another Pattern Pyramid! Did you make that? has been spreading much love and I want to play too! Ok, this shape is not exactly pyramidic- but you get the plan, right? Are you tempted? Oh please be tempted!So if you want a chance to get the first South Carolina (but not limited to) spin-off of the Amazing Karen’s Amazing Pattern Pyramid- just let me know in the comments- you all must know the drill by now. I let Bruderelin select 1 name from the comments- lets say we do it on the 15th of September.

…and we’ll get this show on the road! Please don’t think I’m trying to steal this from Karen- it just looked like so much fun and even more attention for The Brooke….the charity that Karen’s pattern gifting friend is supporting. *Bruderlein would also like to remind you that his gastritis keeps him from eating rawhide, but all other bribes will be considered in his selection process.

**He also says that you don’t need to be a follower of the ‘Grievances to enter- people who follow ‘Mummy’ have often ended up lost……

photo credits: meadhawg, little me, pattern review

Liberation achieved!

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At last- the curse is lifted! This morning my spousal’ and I shall drop off the dreaded cushions and I shall be free! Here is one of the barren spots my overly-piped work will grace.  Ah, bringing color to beige lives- I’m like Mother Theresa…..only shallow of course. Since NOTHING looks better than when modeled with or by diminutive German hound- I bring you ‘Bruder and the cushions he should not be on’ …….Why are you not on the cushions Baby Bru’? Oh, Liesl kicked you off, did she? Oh, you were just being gracious and giving her a turn, I see.

Ok, now what?  I think I’ll join A Fashionable Stitch‘s 2-in-1 Sewalong and make Simplicity 1880…..frisky Leopard print challis me thinks.

I will not be trying the mock wrap version- I am not ready to deal with my gaposis issues just yet! I want the Jenny Packham-esque style- I won’t look like Kate in it, but maybe one of the trashy cousins they felt obliged to invite to the wedding and had a cheap seat behind a column….

Ahhhh……sweet freedom, it was only 3 cushions and a window dressing away all along.

photo credits: little me, google images, a Fashionable stitch

Who’s been sleeping in my bed?

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Sorry, that’s probably way too provocative a title for the nocturnal antics of the Grievous household.

Surely you must know that Karen of Did you make that? is hosting a Pyjama Party and we were all invited! Now little me is really more of a gown gal so I used a colorful, floaty gauze to whip up a little number. It’s Simplicity 9505, a simple peasant style top with a gathered neck and sleeves.

Karen, I thank you- this was a great idea and I love my new nightie!  We were also required to pull back the veil on our bed chambers and reveal whats on the bedside table of the participants.

I’d like you to think that I am all about some deep, socially relevant reading, so I’ve lied of course.

Here’s the real story:

Yes, multiple dachshunds and trashy smut! God bless it!  The book is a lovely Austen-homage I found, reputed to be the ‘lost sex scenes’ that Jane’s editor made her remove. They were found in a flowerbox of a Lake District home on a Jane Austen tour and lovingly published for future generations. The cover features Mr Collins about to get a caning. Of course, I don’t let the pups read it! These photos are staged of course, normally I don’t get this much of the bed. Scientific fact- late at night dachshunds inflate to 4 times their original size. The cats don’t stand a chance, nor the husband for that matter. But, luckily with such short legs you can roll them like logs.  But if you should go to the bathroom, you can assume you will not get your spot back- much less your pillow and blanket!

Katze Lu endures my reading- surely it must be time to turn off the light?!

** Now please everyone, I’m asking you kindly- please do not repost these hot, hot pin-ups for any online dating profiles you may be contemplating!**

photo credits: meadhawg, little me

Happy Pyjama Party everyone!

April Fool’s Day ala Lisette….

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Lisette. You know I love her. You know I do. Easy, pretty, fun. What’s not to love? There we were all laughing and joking together and I was at the cool table and then just like that- you treated me like I was carrying a Prada knock-off and sent me to sit with the un-cool kids. Story of my life.

But what did I do? I cut you out, following all markings and whatnot. I lovingly pre-washed your fabric, I started and all was going great- it felt like a 2 hour pattern.

I’ve returned in my mind to the scene of the crime numerous times. Was I distracted while cutting?

Somehow I ended up with one sleeve that fit perfectly into the facing and one that was about 2 inches too big. Weird!

Admittedly, I can have my focus pulled while working on a project- the Sewing area is not really mine, I lease it from the animals……

This is the finished product- still wearable, but frustrating.  How does one cut out 4 sleeve pieces and have one mystically grow overnight? It is bizarre. I did feel good about my problem solving abilities- I took it apart, recut and only lost about 45 minutes. But I’m not done whining- would you imagine I ever stop? Surely not.

 Why, Anne- why is this side not graced with the tiny bow? What are you hiding??? I’m hiding the grossly darned area that I cut a tiny hole into while trimming. Yes, after all that recovery, I cut a whole in it. Oh, the sartorial Gods were giggling all afternoon. Finished product was still very cute- I’ll try this again in an isolation booth sometime soon. The fabric was a freeby bundle from Fabricmart- so I win, really and Mr B thinks it’s cute. Altho- this symmetrical dork mind can’t handle the single bow. Get over it! I ran out of ribbon after I trimmed the sleeves- the bow was a last-minute save!

Now I’m not saying that any of this was anyone but myselfs fault, but today, while I cut out a dress, someone will be visiting the yard!

Sorry, Liesl.  

photo credits: Pattern Review, Google Images, Little me, Huzzah

Simplicity 1998- Lotso’ Static

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Well…. what do you think? I may make a dryer sheet slip to wear under this- I am a static cling beastie in this- so remember me fondly when I am struck by lightning in the yard today!  

I think with the right styling, I could be the ‘Toasty Space Hosty of Galactar 9′ and charm the disposable crew members in episodes 3-7, Season 1. I need black boots and a raygun. Lands, how many times have I said that when getting dressed?!

So conlusion of my Strawberry-scented saga:

It’s Cozy, it’s cute and I like it.It does have a collar that can’t seem to decide what it wants to be when it grows up, but how many of us can?  I think that Simplicity had ‘dress’ in mind, but I don’t see myself in a big staticy pink bear dress anytime soon. I loped off 5 Lotso’ inches and called it a day. No other major changes, just some tapering of the waist- cuz I thought it would be neat to have one in this. Dream a little dream, Anne!

Lovely weather we are having- I know the love seat will regret the puffy-pups joining me for the backyard photo shoot!

photo credits: Mr B, Disney Digest

Just 20 more days, Mickey….Oh, and Simplicity 2406

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The husband and I will be returning to our special happy place at the end of the month so the wardrobe scramble is on. I’d love to pack mostly me-made things and I’ve been working on tops and a few frocks for evenings. We’re staying off-site (gasp!) We’ve never done such- I will miss the bubble of Disney being over us the entire trip, but it may afford shorter walks to dinner allowing Little ME to spruce up for dinner a bit more. I’m usually capris, sneakers and fun top girl, but I envy people with reasonable arches that can work the sandal and sundress combo- I want cute toes at dinner like all the cool kids!!

So this brings me to a pattern I’ve been eyeing for months- Simplicity 2406:

I feel like this dress has reached a McDonalds-like status: “Simplicity2406! Over 1 Billion Served!” Well, if you are going to one of the most visited places on Earth, like Disney World- wear a dress that fits the theme, right?   I adjusted it only slightly- I didn’t have the back open to the waist- I didn’t really see the point of that design detail. A bright quilters cotton brings it down to a more casual note for a night at a resort restaurant, I hope.  I think this will go into the repeat bin, I really enjoyed making it. The construction of the sleeves had a fun twist that gave me some challenge and I liked that. The fun twist for me was when I put them on backwards but I ended up liking the neckline that way, so I left it. This expression is my ‘what was that noise, are those cats destroying things that I love?’  but my dedication to this photo shoot was strong, oh yes. I ignored the noises. Possibly to my own detriment.

Here’s another view- this time I’m ignoring thye dogs. If I had a third picture, I’d ignore my husband in that one. This is my life.

Now I just need some cutesy red sandals and dinner reservations.

I’m think Todd English’s Blue Zoo at the Swan…or is it the Dolphin resort? I’m so ready for a little mouse time.

photo credits: Little me, pattern review

Yo- it’s my Sewing Room

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This week has not been productive. I made a dress for the Sew Weekly accessory challenge and it ended up as a bin liner. Just a train wreck of bad pattern choice and 2 fabrics of conflicting natures. So I’m sort of missing the Sewjo right now. I’ve been in the sewing room alot but not productively. Mostly chasing cats and such. I’ve decided that since I’ve  been seeing a lot of Sewists show off their sewing space for the positive- they have great organization. The negative- they have fascinating clutter.That in my book thats not really a negative!  Well  turn about is fair play,right? So it’s my turn. Please sit back and enjoy the highly rated but for some reason never viewed :

MTV Cribs episode featuring….    The Sewer’s Bordello!

Anne: Hi MTV fans! Welcome to my Sewing Crib! Yes, this is where the magic happens! In this first picture you get a glance into the hyper-active child that dwells here- gathering bright, shiny objects like a showgirl-squirrel…   

I can’t possibly get rid of one thing in here- not the glue sticks, the 700 tiny jars of stray buttons, the old tins of embroidery floss, the American girl dress form! Yes, jealous viewers- you do see the notorious SideWinder bobbin winder! This is why security is tight here- I have valuables! The tv alone is an antique! It’s actually an amazing high-def plasma tv inserted into a 1983 box to keep a kitschy retro feel. Honestly!

After we see the whole room, I’ll show you the solid gold toilet I bought at Russells Simmon’s yard sale last year.

Bruder is also a feature of our tour- this sofa is a very foolish indulgence on my part, but we love it. Bru-boo is doing his ‘Paint me like one of your French girls, Jack!” pose for us today.

The classiness doesn’t stop folks, I tell you.  I have the wonkiest ironing board I could find- I get vertigo ironing with this- it sways so much.  Restrain your jealousy- that is a Hello Kitty cd player on top of an antique wig stand. Grandmonster would roll counter-clockwise if she saw that- shhh- don’t tell her!

Where do I cut out patterns you may be asking- well, on a good day, the coffee table in the den with an olfa mat. On a bad day (when Mr B is watching 14 hours of Totenham) I get 3 pieces of ham, wrap a sleeping pill in each one and wait for the dachshunds to collapse so I can use the floor in the sewing room!

 Now this next shot is the requisite Cribs shot of the open refrigerator but in a sewingroom format. This is where I hide the 600 manuals I have purchased to teach myself to knit and crochet. That still hasn’t happened, by the way, but the books looks very helpful, don’t they? My patterns are in the plastic bins with little seperators- no major organization yet- I like them visible so I can admire my hoarde.  I also have Slings & Arrows and the Firefly series on dvd for those extended sewing sessions. Nathan Fillion helps me feel creative, you know what I mean?

Oh, the sewing desk- look at all this foolishness and absolutely necessary clutter. This is where you find out I have a post-it note fixation- I think they are breeding when I dim the lights. Yes, thats a Mary Poppins potatohead and a postal scale. Hmm…. Normally on Cribs they would hide that postal scale, but I think it’s ok here!

Now last but not least, is the closet of over-purchase! Where I hide many things that dare not see the light of day and my fabric stash. Except for the fat quarters that are all in bins under Bruder. Sometimes a whole family of cats will be lounging in said bins- a gentle reminder to prewash.

photo credits: little me, google images