Wearable Wednesday Elie Saab


The holidays can be super busy for a girl like I. Luckilly Elie Saab knows my lifestyle and designs as tho I am his muse.

Last week I helped out at a homeless shelter- I know how much joy my presence brings to the less fortunate. I wore this and no, I did not let them touch my puff-balls.

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I popped over to the Vatican,  Francis squealed with pleasure at my visit and his plate of pickle rollups.

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On tuesday I helped bathe and groom dogs at the shelter.  So a long skirt would have been impractical, of course.

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Wednesday was an at home day- I mostly knitted beanies for preemies and did some yard work. So, super casual.

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Thursday, I took a group of little urchins to the mall- I showed them how to spot a knock off Prada, then we had corn dogs. So inspiring to serve others! Again, they couldn’t touch my puff balls.

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So exhausted- friday I rang the bell in front of the hardware store for the Salvation Army.  Funny story- my 3rd best tennis bracelet flew off and hit an elderly gentleman, has that happened to you? Yeah, so common.

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Osklen


Well. Shall we address the hem or the stylist caplet she forgot to take off?

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Ok, just- what- no. Sheer bodice and granny panties? Mind blown.

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Um, crotch bib?

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Do you hear that? It’s my WhatTheWhat meter. It’s exploding.

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Ok, I quit. Osklen has broken me. See you next week.

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Holly Fulton


Mother Fulton is missing a lot of placemats.

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I’m going to need to borrow those eye-shields, Ma’am.

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Let’s just say what we are all thinking. BEWB SWEAT!

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This is a blue plate special of wrong with a side of pit cleavage to go.

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I’m still getting a little pot holder, kitchen linen vibe, but it’s ok.

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‘Louis! Turn up the music- she’s wearing the skirt!’

‘I can’t hear you over that squeaking, Ben, what?’

“never mind, Louis, you muttonhead. ‘

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Joseph told her he wanted to play more games in the bedroom. Wanda obliged with a parchesi skirt.

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Oh, I pray to Coco and Betsey that you can see what this is doing to her bust.

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Thom Browne


‘Kids, your Uncle Marvin has been so lonely for a long time. He’s bringing a girl to Thanksgiving and I want you all to make a special effort to be nice to her and her friends.’

‘Mom, she’s here- and Grannie Fran just accused her of trying to steal the good placemats- I think you need to come out here’

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‘Honestly Becky! I can’t leave the gravy right now! Go fill up the nut cups- what now???’

‘Ma- she’s not wearing a top- well, not on both sides-‘

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but one of them is wearing a lamp shade and maybe some tiny chickens-‘

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Stop being a brat- go show them my Elvis collectable plates and my spoons from all 50 states!’

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‘Whats Pogo so upset about? Whats all that barking? Go see!’

‘Mom- Pogo thinks her Coat Is alive- he’s cowering under the table now’

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‘Don’t keep running in here! Its rude! Go offer her an iced tea….and see if she brought the centerpiece for the table’

‘But Mom- I think she’s wearing it…’

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‘Mom- Uncle Marvin is taking the brandy and leaving without her…..’

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday ADEAM


Look into the swirling pattern effect of my Bewbs. You are getting very sleepy- you are in a deeply relaxed state. You will buy anything Vogue tells you to…….

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You even want to buy a dress with a giant oven mitt shrinky-dinked to it.

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Your mind will become open to new concepts- like capelet blouses! They will make total sense to you!

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You will give me this coat and shirty business- but keep the satyr clogs for yourself. Seriously, I want you to have them.

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You will not realize that she is trying to steal your grandmothers drapes…..

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When I count to 3 you will awake refreshed and have no idea that you now possess a tail.

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photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday 6397


‘Hey- I know you’re getting ready for the show, but you need to get down here.’

‘Why? Whats wrong- Scooter you sound frantic!’

‘It’s the Models sir. They refuse to put on the clothes. They’re just milling around unstyled and smelling of unfiltered cigarettes. I can’t make them get dressed!?’

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‘Wait- what?’

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‘Yeah, I know, it’s crazy! They just keep staring at me and refusing to change.’

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‘That’s ridiculous! They have contracts! I gave them diet coke!’

‘Its true! They look terrible! Like they just rolled out of bed and painted their garage or cleaned a million toilets! Just saggy grimey looking jeans and ratty slip ons!?’

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‘SCOOOTER! YOU MORON!!!! THAT IS MY COLLECTION!!!!’

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‘Um, well….they all do look comfortable…’

‘Get out, Scooter. You’ll never wrangle models in this town again.’

 

photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

 

Wearable Wednesday Alessandra Rich


Good evening and welcome to another installment of ‘Spending Grannies Money’ the reality show starring people who know that they are better than you.

‘Damn it Honoria, I know you let your $1400 cat into my climate-controlled lace closet again!’

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“whatever Enid- I was too busy having my stylist find this one of a kind belt- oh, Balzac!’

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‘What belt, Honoria? Do you mean this old thing I found under the gardener?’

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‘Diego!!! …..Enid you trollope! Well, at least you only copied the styling- I spent weeks having Carmen hand-bead this dress with stones crushed up from a gothic cathedral’

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‘Hmm…I thought that rag looked a little dowdy- so I have Carmen rip off the cheesy sleeves.You don’t need them when you spend $1800 an hour having your own Swedish trainer gently excersize the tone into them while you sleep’

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‘Now if you’ll excuse me Honoria, I’m off to systematically boff my way to Prince Harry.’

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‘Not so fast, Enid, Honoria- I need to discuss my will! Also the possibility of my leaving it all to my pool boy, Javier- who likes me braless. ‘

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Tune in again for another stirring episode where Enid buys a small island, Honoria kills a condor to have a one of a kind clutch bag made and Granny slips into something comfortable ……

 

 

photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.