Wearable Wednesday Alena Akhmadullina

Let’s dress the stars for upcoming holiday events, shall we?  Emma Stone-

Emma Stone’s masseuse:


The underside of Rihanna’s sofa cushions:

Elle Fanning:

El Onsie:

Diane Kruger:

Diane Kruger gets a cat:

 Julianne Moore running out for a premiere:

Julianne Moore running out for more ice:

Julianne Moore running out of fabric:

Photo credits: vogue.com.


Simplicity Fall 8141

Simplicity 8141 has all of my favorite motifs: 3/4 sleeves, drapey business and a quick completion.

I should have filmed the event of me trying to lay out the gigantor pattern piece -with taped portion – on my sewing room floor! I was playing Twister with an invisible squid that cheats! I locked the pups out or it really would have been a party!
Last year I had this crazy idea that I should introduce some solid colors to the Annie closet of gaud. This crepe is from fabric Mart and its reverse worked really well for this. You hem 1 end on the right side, 1 hem on the wrong side then attach 1 shoulder and flip the front of like  you are surreptitiously wiping your nose on your hem in an elevator.

What? Everybody does it.

I overflipped or underflupped or something, I never could keep the reverse hem from showing. When sewing nears geometry, I just declare defeat and tuck it in.


This is the shorter length- I wasn’t quite stocked for the longer one- but I tried! The more you mess with this, the more it kind of turns and slides around into this ‘X’, but I do like it. I skipped the back seam and could stand to take the back in a tiny bit for my slopey shoulder fix-


I hope you envy my Milky Way necklace- I have a dork spouse- he buys me very cool things!

Photo credits: little me, google images, simplicity.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday meets the Brides!

Ok, well-maybe try….. oh  just hold the ring for now

I feel bad for that bridesmaid who showed up with her dress on a wire hanger. It got intense.

TLC themed wedding- complete with waterfalls to be chased!

Something old, something new, something borrowed- something made out of your favorite muppet…..

Well, Sonia, what I said was ‘make your VEIL out of grandmothers best table cloth…’

Never one to skimp on a theme, Enid wore bespoke fishing waders for their ceremony along the River Dee….

‘Just let it go!’

‘You wouldn’t be like that if it was Your watch under there!’

‘Gees Kate you’re never getting that swatch back, just buy another!?’

Why didn’t anyone tell me I could have my bridal pictures done on a trampoline? I feel like a fool for just standing there holding Mr Bs stupid hand!

Sugar skull cootchie inexplicably became what Harvey’s friends called Veronica. It puzzled them both.
If this Bride didn’t come down the aisle to  a string quartet playing Donovan, she really missed a moment.

Well, Becky, it’s…so…you!

I can’t explain it, but I want to swash, buckle and eat little cake squares all of a sudden.

Shh- if you look just right, her abdomen makes the ‘Scream’ face!

When Arthur searched for Wanda- it was obvious that she had left him at the altar… with no one to comfort him but this floor lamp.

Isn’t it about time for Drake and Rihanna to get hitched?

Photo credits: Houghton, Viktor & Rolf, Marchesa, Reem Acra, Vera Wang. Vogue.com.

Wearable Wednesday Rahul Mishra

When I see fancy dainty linens in antique shops, I’m tempted, but I never know what to do with them- still don’t.

Swarm! Swarm!!

These ked’s totally match the lucky windsuit my Aunt wears to bingo-

Just 1 light dusting of spray adhesive and a gentle roll under the sofa cushions and you’re ready to go!

I can’t help thinking that the yellow business is just a bib hanging from her neck-

The 3 pillow shams and a bird cage cover challenge!

Somewhere, a grandmothers toaster and blender stand naked…

Wanda was a hot picnic of desire-

Using skeeball as a metaphor for sex has never occurred to me….

Photo credits: vogue.com. All images remain the property of the original owner.

Hey look, I sewed something!

If you know me, you know I get burned out on a season about 3 months before my local climate changes. What can I say? I’m a fickle beast. 

It’s October now! I want to see fall, but it’s still 9 degrees hotter than the surface of the sun here in SC. How can I Stroke corduroy without melting???

I’m bored with my closet! I want to wear new fall things even if it kills me!! So this week I made 2 new tops for work. Both are still under review- let’s start with this- Vogue 1188, why hasn’t this gotten more love? These sleeves are gesticulating fabulousness!!! They are winged sleeve victory, baby!

This brings me to a thought about fit and ease. Recently I had a gal about my size tell me she wasn’t plus sized. Really? Um, ok. So I asked the husband. Is —– about my size? She says she wears a 12.

He looked at me and pretty much said, she likes her clothes 2 sizes too small, you like yours 2 sizes too big.

Huh??? No, I like it to hover gently over my body like a car cover. Oh, ok…I get it now. With this in mind, I still felt this fit too closely for my tastes. So I thought let’s get fun- how about a little panel in front with a slight ruffle to it to mirror my flying squirrel sleeves?


Here we are- I’d say it’s a working muslin of Vogue 1188. I don’t think this fabric is very good- besides just being a solid, it’s just boring- I’ll try this again in a lawn maybe- or as a tunic in a nice fall fabric?


Why has this pattern not gotten much love?? MY version is doing it no favors I know- but these sleeves are so fun!


Ok, this is making me 75% happy. I love the fabrics together, but I don’t think the fit is spot on. 2 very unstable fabrics were not the best call for this pattern, but I’m wearing it. I’m not disgusted, but I’m not doing a major victory lap. I’m meh, but meh with a cherry on top.

Now. Simplicity 8170. I love this style of shoulder- it’s totally meant for we slopy gals! But I’ve always had an issue with fit in the under arm area. How much is too much excess?


I’ll make this again in a more stable material- 2 crinkly woodgy gauzy things do not make a right! Now, I think I have discovered the origins of super model feuds today. Just out of camera range, Bruder felt the call of the puppy pad. It truly is hard to find ones inner muse when  he’s staring at me and waiting for me to compliment him on his superb use of the appropriate area for ones business on a cloudy day. I’m sure Kate Moss did something similar to Linda Evangelista back in the day.


Photo credits: little me, google images. All images remain the property of the original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Dolce and Gabbana

‘Honestly. Helens theme parties get more and more confusing everytime. Remember when she had the series 2 Detectorists premiere party? My upholstery sure does.’

‘Better than that ‘Gelatto for the Pontiff’ thing last fall!’

‘What about that outdoor thing where she just kept blasting ‘Tusk’ over the stereo….’

‘Oh, the marching band overnighter- I can’t even look at epaulettes now!?’

‘Remember the silent auction she had for the migrant farm workers? I never got my charitable giving form back.’

‘But her annual tea to kick off the Olive Gardens never ending pasta bowl’ is always so well attended!’

‘Is that the month after her annual birthday fete for Elton John and Kofi Annan?’

‘Yeah, weird them having the same birthday….’

‘ I thought getting Sir David Attenborough to read ‘ode to an Etruscan urn’ in a wading pool was quite stirring in 2012….good times’

‘What’s tonight?’

‘Slap that Bass’ jazz night, why?’

‘I think you misunderstood….’

Photo credits: vogue. Com.


Wearable Wednesday Marques’ Almeida

Ringo Starr wore this for 4 straight months before the intervention.


Gee, while your randomly cutting the sleeve edges, why not lop off another 4 inches so she can scratch her nose?


Damn it Mom, I’m not cold- why do I have to wear your stupid car coat?! You.Are.Soooo.Embarassing.


My Brothers astronaut GI Joe had the same pants….


Boy friend jeans….if your boyfriend is Raggedy Andy…


She’s two coffin liners and a hide-a-bed fighting for control….


After the incident on Porcupine Peak, Strawberry Shortcake went to a dark place….


Anybody else want to get between me and the cupcake tower?


We get it, Sybil, you got playoff tickets by sleeping with a ref…..


Mourning becomes Oompa-Loompas…..


Oh Camille, you jiffy-pop strumpet!


I have no words.


Did you think I could ignore the shoes forever?  Yeah, right.



photo credits: vogue.com