Wearable Wednesday Isabel Marant


Let’s set a mood, shall we?

These shoulders tucks can fit the entire daily calorie intake of one professional runway model! Fashion + function! Winner, winner tiny dinner!As if, Toni! I said I was wearing my IKEA wrap today- bitch!Turn Blue Heather- mines Benetton! So what if you haven’t finished shrink wrapping the model- we’ll crop the hose out later! Due to a severe waxing accident, Tiffany was forced to sit out the runway. I mean so like, the galleria was way packed- I couldn’t wedge myself into the Claire’s. It was bogus. Doy Erica- it was 2for 1 stud day- the food court was slammed with toasted surfers scarfing at full pitch. Whatever. Shut.Up. Marley- is that your mothers suede fringed bolero? You’re so tripendicular in that. I totally die of env. Do you have a clue Yardley? That is like granny wear to the max. Wear pink rollers and cruise the farmers market much? photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Burberry


Do you, or someone you know seek a legal settlement from a polar bear? Call Emory&Fields- South Pole Attorneys!

I wonder what they did with all the props when George Lucas quit….. McCall’s has this pattern with a matching deer stalker hat….for dogs.Girls, never travel without at least one pad. ‘Nough said. I’m sorry I’m late. I got stuck on the elevator. Reports are coming in that noted circus performers have defected! Authorities are still puzzling over how they avoided detection.Ron Weasley wasn’t the only one with a hand me down robe. Wait- stop. Is this a parka with crotch snaps????? Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Fendi


Fendi baffles me. Do I hate it? Do I want to

Embrace the Pollyanna wears a moving blanket vibe?

-I’ve always thought that my purse needed it’s own purse.

I hear that in the very posh VIP lounges they provide jammies. Tho that may change since Gwyneth has been caught stealing them….

Upgrade me or I will jump!! I mean it!!

Fendi- you’re like a bad boyfriend- you keep sucking me in with little glimpses of charm.Then the pants come off.

This blouse combo has a high chafing rating. prove me wrong- denim is not lux. This looks like Mr Furly. Project Runway presents: Grannies Boudoir unconventional challenge! Best Oasis album cover ever! where’s my mace?! Photo credits: Vogue. Com

Wearable Wednesday Monique Lhuillier


So you have to work the New Years? Why not just wear your party gown and celebrate there?

Oh. The cafeteria isn’t opening the hot bar? Could I get a grilled ch- no? Ok. I’ll find a yogurt.

Now Mrs Phillips- as you heal from your hip replacement, I want you to do these simple exercises every morning. Hands on hips…..

Jordan? Alice Jordan? I’m here to take you to the MRI area……Ok, you know the drill- wipe front to back with the towelette, tinkle a little in the toilet then finish the stream in the sterile cup….Mr Bennet? I’m here to take you to surgery. This is Parnell, she’s my PA. Good morning Ma’am. I’m here from financial counseling to help you with your short term disability forms. Damn. No pockets. Do you have a pen?

Welcome to St Parsimonious Regional. Looks like you need to take the blue elevator to the 3rd floor and turn left at the neonatal desk. who schedules meetings on a holiday? Where’s my clipboard? Wait? You’re leaving early? Can I leave too?? No? Oh, ok. No big deal…..Photo credits- vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Stine Goya


Ah, the holidays. When you drink enough to let your cousin cutting your hair seem like a good plan.st5

Oh, no Hester- she got to you??

st6

I can’t help in the kitchen, I sadly have pink eye. st2

Oh, yeah me too.

st1

It’s like a plague this year, totally.

st8

Fine. I’ll sieve the gravy with Aunt Betty. I wore an outfit that covers all my tattoos. st4

Ugh, I hear everyone who slept at Cousin Floyds house has pink eye. st10

photo credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Brock Collection


Let’s all pause a moment and think about the plight of models with cramps. Bravely soldiering on thru the pain…Hurry Alice! Drink the other bottle!Oh, that’s where I left my copy of Swann’s Way!Kidney Stones! I think it’s kidney stones!Is her head on backwards?

Are you still cold Enid? Is your blood even flowing?Like a young Kate Hepburn….with Lyme Disease.

For the love of Mr Darcy, can one of the interns loan her a scrunchie so we can see the clothes? Are you huffing Flonase again Enid? We talked about this!?Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Moschino


So I was on the subway this morning…..img_0784

‘I’m so possessive that I rock his Roc necklaces giant ass puffer jacket’

Rosie Perez called- she said you need to return her storage locker keys…..NOWMy husband cringes whenever I attempt a baseball cap- he says it just looks unnatural. I think he sees this.Wear matching track suits to see the Mets she says, it’ll be fun she says. Then she shows up with another guy……NY Transit has come up with an anti-turnstile jumping initiative. After your 2nd offense, you are issued these pants. Northface presents their first collection of prom wear in sassy satin-finish gortex!

Every year thousands of Russian peasant women immigrate to NY to pursue their dreams….. Grandmas vintage Chanel was perfect for Erins new job with just a few adjustments.  Toby was so excited to be invited to the Kardashian pajama party!Hannah felt the chiffon bow blouse was too much for a job interview………Alex wasn’t going to let that Chihuahua that spooked him yesterday from using public transit, he was ready!Photo credits: Vogue.com