Wearable Wednesday Zac Posen


I’ve never figured out what Resort Wear means exactly-

Maybe it’s what you wear when you have a kidney stone?

This is screaming ‘praying mantis launching from a cocoon-Be your own hood ornament-I think this is Florence Welch at CanneA Binoche at Canne-An Senator Organna at Canne-If I just float thru the cafeteria at work in this- will it seem excessive for bbq bar day?Liesl, the angry debutanteOh Zac- you have me a trench coat!!Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Christopher Esber


Let’s start slow-

Weirdly enough- I’m seeing Mickey Mouse.

I’ve never seen an outfit that makes a models belly button scream in horror….Huh, there are more strings holding her sandals on than the dress! Sooner or later I’m going to get the hanger so tangled in this that I end up having a psycho meltdown Joan Crawford style. 1 pocket for anti-frizz gel, the other for extra garment supporting shoe laces….‘Hi- I’m wondering if you could help me find something unflattering yet strangely revealing- it’s for a job interview…’Boris Becker was stranded on an island for 5 years…..see his first interview on Inside Edition!Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Our Legacy


June is coming- let’s turn this into an angry high school valedictorian speech.

  • Teachers, students and family. Our Legacy is something we aren’t ready to face yet-Our Legacy is confusing and hard to understand-

Our Legacy is spread out before us-

Our Legacy is like nothing we’d have imagined-Our Legacy is uncomfortable to stand in-

Our Legacy is incomprehensible and frightening-Our Legacy is something we should have worked harder for- Our Legacy is just a flash on the horizon!photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Alyx


Good morning- may I present Hester the Farrier Dominatrix!

…and her assistant Peggy.Looking forward to the new Tron athlesure collection at Footlocker-

It’s going to take a lot to bring back macrame and denim combos.

Sadly, I can see this camouflage. Sometimes the perm solution smell makes me nauseous too. That amount of hair gel under hot lights may be more flammable than the whole outfit.

Be concerned when your accountant keeps their passport so handy.

Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Paco Rabanne


The slave that stands behind Anna Wintour waiting to wipe her lips after she has her morning virgins blood smoothie wears this:

Mick Jagger was last seen wearing this-

How can you be upset? This isn’t too bad!If she didn’t have that serious thigh gap, her inner thigh sequins would pelt the front rows.I’m liking this- in a Duchess if Windsor’s parlour wallpaper kind of way….If you brush the skirt upward you get a portrait of Cecil Beaton riding a hobbyhorse!Hold on- can an entire model be sucked into a roomba? Somebody grab her tail!This is fun- like dancehall floozie fun- Can I be buried in this? I was planning to be cremated, but this looks like it won’t burn. Looks like Adam Ants daughter Peony found the ‘special trunk’…..Ok, ok- no more skirt rubbing- don’t get angry! photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Loewe


But how will I know you? There will be so many people at the depot….

‘Welcome to Mercilous Ming’s- home of the24 Oz mai tai, can I get you a table by the laser beam?’

Gaw- even her bodice wants to cover its face?!Uncle Dan loved those car seats- how could you!!!You only have 3 yards- ok, we’ll just piece it. Oh no- the chick incubator is down again, eh Wanda?So I was thinking Elton…..An aeorodynamic catwalk demands ones shoulder Pringle’s never be wider than their Outback rat flaps. I keep looking for a tiny Liza Minnelli to pop out of her skirt and sing Cabaret songs with Joel Grey….Ok, so just grab some of the pirate wench and witch costumes off the returns shelf and suit up- I can’t believe Erica called out on the hostess desk!?You could have told me your cat was lactose intolerant before I held her in my lap. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Kimora Lee Simmons


Please allow me to introduce myself, Mr Bond. I’m Fancy Crevice- the Barons assistant. Mr Bond- if you would help me out of my formal Druid poncho- I shall commence to seduce you….

You may know krav maga- but I’ve trained extensively in twat fu-Please follow me into the volcano lair, I’ll explain my work here as a topless geophysicist, Mr Bond. Here at EvilTech, I have no actual job title, I just make menacing faces and stroke my designer lab wear.You see, James- my dress actually comes apart and can be easily reassembled into a hover craft with just one poke of my stiletto bust darts. Q provided me with this radar blanketing swing dress for the finale- let’s see if you can get me out of it before the other agents arrive!I fully expect your overly planned demise to be quite messy, Mr Bond- please note my vinyl coated pencil skirt. photo credits: Vogue.com