The fat cat in the hat?

I’ve been thinking about hats. We’re officially a week into summer and I am already feeling the soles of my keds cling to the pavement when I leave the house. The dachshies have to be flipped over on the deck periodically to ensure that they bake evenly. It’s hot and I am pale. Yes, pale.  To quote Woody Allen, I don’t burn, I stroke. So a hat would be a fabulous thing- then maybe I could stop running crouched over from  structure to structure like I fear assassins or paparazzi.  

This presents a conundrum. What do people with pretensions toward style, but no actual occasions wear on their heads?  Lets cross out the cowboy hat- I can’t pull this one off.

Nor can I work a baseball cap- my husband just shakes his head when I attempt it.

So what to do, what to do?

Sew something of course.  An excellent plan. There are some great hat patterns out there- I even have one.

A little dated mayhaps?  With a fabric updating and a bunch of fat quarters can I pull this off or will the result  be……….Blossom  Time???

Well, here we are- I know I said sunshade, but as usual the lure of pretending that I am at an intimate dinner with Noel Coward is too much- I have cloche’d it:

On the whole, I am pleased- it’s taller than I had hoped for, but I got to use some of my fat quarter stash and I will take it out for a prance later.

Get Mertz and Squirrel!

Do you see that long face? It  says it all. Bruderlein is tired of watching me wrestle with Simplicity 2180! The dress is technically  finished, but the strong urge to wad it up into a tiny, neat bundle and stuff up in a drawer in the attic  and pretend I never started it is very powerful!  This frisky tie back is just not  working on me! The back is wider than I am at the shoulders, so the tie back really has to be effective.  The real problem esthetically- other than my impressive display of little cutlets of back fat is that it  creates tiny wings at the side backs. Both distracting and unflattering- my favorite wardrobe combo!

Behold! The Floral Flying Squirrel!  

So I’m not giving  up, but the back has got to be altered and possible made more wind resistant. I’m just not sure what to do at this moment, tapering perhaps?   So stay tuned for more adventures of :

Ethel Mertz, Floral Flying Squirrel!

Inspiration Time!

Well, it’s happened as I knew it would. I’m down to the handsewing and little details on my fabulous apple green floral dress and now, like a regular at an all you can eat Chinese buffet- I am sniffing around other things- ready to grab new tongs and go!

So here is the divine Dita Von Teese at the Coachella festival- this dress keeps coming back to my mind- I think the print combination is too much fun. But will it’s sleek shirtdress styling turn Ethel Mertzy on my little caboose? Possibly. I consulted an expert on such things.

The husband. I approach brandishing the page from the New Yorker.

‘Sweetie,  what do you think of this dress that Dita Von Teese is wearing? Should I make something similiar?’

‘I will tell you this once, and please always remember: if Dita Von Teese is wearing it, not only do I approve, I demand that you enter the sewingroom forthwith.’

Yes, I married a man who says ‘forthwith’, didn’t you?  Poor guy, I know he is picturing more ‘Dita’s Opium Den Tour 2011’ than the music festival in a mud field, but hey, I will take to the sewingroom.

I’ll report back when this idea gets a little more formed. I’m thinking maybe 3 prints- possibly the M’Liss fabrics from Hancock Fabric. Appropriate I think- Dita is a dachsie loving gal and so is Ms Rawley. I think the three of us should get a cottage in the Hamptons this season. I’ll bring the magazines and twizzlers.

Perhaps this little number as  one:

What’cha think?

photo credits: UK Daily mail

The facade is up!

Simplicity 2180 rolls along-  even if Liesl is less than impressed. I have the waistband attached- I must not think about the bra that is needed to wear this dress without looking like one of those women my Mother is upset by- I’ll cross that cantilevered bridge when I come to it.  The front of the skirt is attached- but just the front. I imagine that the Vera Bradley wing of the Mayo Clinic has a lot of patients wearing similiar togs as they roam the halls. Yup, no backsies. But soon, soon. The elephant in the room can no longer be avoided. No, silly- Liesl is a dachshund- they are shorter. I mean it is time to start little me’s very first invisible zipper. Oh, the fraught nerves! The tension. I consulted the world wide web this morning and found lots of advise- also lots of things to help me avoid the zipper conundrum.  Such as this: Did you know Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall wore her Will and Kate wedding ensemble to the first day of Ascot? I admire your thrift and it was pretty, but Cammie- too soon!


 Ok, back to the scary zipper! I have resigned myself for my date with Coats and Clark destiny- tomorrow, as soon as I get home from  work- I will brace myself for the showdown in the sewingroom. For God, Country and a better looking finished project!

What’s a delicate Flower to do?

Before you is the Sunset Cooler ala Virgin- it’s only 9:24 and I already think it is too hot to go out- unless I am sitting under an awning with my sweetie at a particular venue involving pixie-dust and people watching. So, I adjourn to the sewingroom to work on this weeks (multiple weeks perhaps?) project!

Simplicity 2180-   To sleeeve or not to sleeve? That is the question!  The pattern  calls for poufy 3-quarter sleeves but that makes it a ‘finish me, hang me in the closet and forget I exist for 4 months’  kind of frock. I am too instant gratification for such nonsense, but  no sleeve is too extreme I’m thinking for this one- what if the Pope visits the neighborhood and there I am in a sleeveless schmatta looking like the local flooz????

So a hybrid capsleeve to the rescue!

Twiggy, you lucky dressform-  you may even get a skirt for this today!

Judgement Days

She’s judging me. I feel it in her cold, naked stare. I try not to make eye contact- should be easy, she has no head, right? But you don’t know me so well yet.I could attract guilt in an empty room. It’s just my nature.
Every morning this month I have passed the sewingroom and seen her there- invisible hands on hips, scowl. She is a needy idol and must be provided with offerings. Where are the muslin drapings and bias cuts I should be kneeling before her and adjusting? The fancy trims, pearls and other trendy geegaws she craves?
I’d better get in there and start making amends. So last night I started a new project: Simplicity 2180 in a fun green floral challis- whimsical but dainty- just like me (cough,cough) …………we shall see if either of us is pleased.