Last Night at The Row….

Now I’m not one to mock the Olsen twins- I always feel that with kids harnessed into acting at an early age we should just be glad they are only wearing crazy cat-lady garb and not taking hostages. Besides- I always love their shoes, bags and the way they always seemed to be mouthing ‘prune’ in pictures.

I wonder if perhaps they resent us ignoring their 40 lbs of broomskirt skirts and caftans and need to remind us that, ‘Hey! Young and poorly advised in the house!’

So this homage to Sue Sylvester may be a sartorial cry for help:

Admittedly, I’d love one of these fleece lined to wear on saturday mornings while I nurture my gourmet creamer addiction and watch the dachsie’s fertilize my lavendar.

 But for a big evening out, I’ll bet it took hours to select just the right accesories for a formal tracksuit kimono. Do you do full sporty and perhaps work in some white fox wristbands and such? Or downplay the addidasness and act like it’s just we the commoners seeing such an incredibly ironic piece and we just can’t understand it fully. I’ll go with that theory. Unless it has a hood…. then just forget it- it’s beyond me.

Wearable Wednesday…psst…your slip is showing

Every one of Marni’s 2012 RTW has a little extra something-  hanging out of the bottom. From watching some fellow sewists do the Circle Skirt sewalong I know that it’s important to hang your garments before hemming- maybe Marni was rushed.  See for yourself:

Round 2- I love the structure of this one and that the model is wearing good pressure hose to avoid blisters during lengthy shows- models suffer just like you and I, right? 

Texturally I am loving this collection- the graphics, the floral, the lines-

This has sort of a Charlie Brown Luau effect:

I want the matching pillow shams:

Now one more for the road:

What’s the general concensus- yays or nays for Marni?

Photo Credit:

Oh, new sewing machine, I love you so….

I do love my new sewing machine. How much? I think I’m going to take it behind the bleachers and give it a hickey. I think I would let it have the last of the mint milano cookies. I think it could convince me to watch a Tyler Perry movie. So close are we two.  As with all obsessive love- it leads you to do foolish things. Like playing around with fancy embroidery stitchers on garments that really don’t need them. 

 This is Vogue 1247 and I love it- finally got a picture of my torso in it!  I love the crab underside effect of all the converging seamlines.When I see myself in it, I want to eat hushpuppies- the subliminal crab thing is very powerful. I’m having mild hem regret too- the angles gave me fits- the dachsies learn much latin that day, friends.

I got this impulsive idea to decoratively stitch the neckline and it made it a little 80’s looking to me. Perhaps cheapened the look over all…But those decorative stitches are so tempting! With the press of a button I can add the entire text of the Iliad to any bustier! I can embroider the Last Supper on my next pair of gauchos! Oh, the bliss! Oh, the feeling that this is not what  Coco Chanel had herself cryogentically frozen to return for……

Or perhaps she did…..

Overall, I do love the blouse- I plan to try it again in another fabric once I have taped over the decorative stitch chart and can promise to behave myself.

Fall Palette Challenge- grrr, baby, grrr….

Crisp falling leaves, a nip in the morning air, the scent of cider and leaf burning…..ahhh….Autumn!

Oh,  Holy Moses on Buttered Toast!?  Who am I trying to kid- it’s still 9 million degrees and I’m getting corduroy chafe from this dress and if I wear these boots for 2 more minutes my ladylike glistening will make my calves a purpley-black  forever!? But I want to sew fall so badly and Sew Weekly is using the Fall Palette challenge as this weeks theme- I want to play, too! So pretend that my forehead is not really dewy and ignore the secret knowledge that I may or may not be foicusing on a popsicle in the distance in one of these pictures. It’s harvest time for the Love of God, get the horn of plenty out and enjoy my Bette Davis-esque Simplicity 2174 cheetah print corduroy frock!  I do love this dress- I added the buttons and did little tucks on the sleeves to give it a little ‘Fasten your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a bumpy night!’ feel.

Thank you to my sweet Mr B- he slaved all night getting the computer back up and so he didn’t have to listen to me whine anymore…..about the computer at least.

Wearable Wednesday – Fashion Fringe RTW2012

Ever get the feeling that a designer just doesn’t like women? Not in that ‘shh…he doesn’t like women’ kind of 1950’s euthemism way, but in a ‘I love designing sculptural textile pieces and these stupid models keep getting in the way- maybe I can hide them or make them less noticeable in the clothes….hmm.’

I present exhibit A:

 Her mother must be sooo proud. I’m not sure if these dresses are padded or she is hiding a babhka loaf in that dress?

This one is for the bloggers who wondered about another models knees- does London have a pollen problem in September? she’s sort of Drowning Ophelia…

This model is trying so hard to blow upward and get the hair of her face. So hard to maintain character…

Ever wonder if an outfit gave you hip horns?

No one will notice your nip-slip if your hip horns are just right……. How do you all feel about the Fashion Fringe duo?

Photo Credit:

Dear Mrs Darling

Dear Mrs Darling,

I have always cherished you as the Home Ec teacher who taught me that marking notches as the right thing to do and that if the pattern envelope said ‘not suitable for obvious diagnals, plaids or 1-way stretch’ that that was the law and no matter how cool a similiar outfit looked on that Debbie Harry person, it was not to be done.  Your torch of sewing guidance never flickers in the sewers bordello.

But, I have to say something. All these years I have lived in dread of Vogue patterns because you said they were too hard to follow  and looked like crazy Europeans were making them!

Well, I must confess, I have been hoarding Vogue patterns for years and never sewing them. Just following Pattern Review and marvelling at other peoples Vogue achievements and stroking the envelopes by the light of the moon.

This weekend I wanted a blouse. So after shuffling thru the bins, I thought..’Should I? Dare I? Is it ok?’ and grabbed Vogue 1247:

and Mrs Darling- I loved it! First I felt shameful- I wondered if somewhere out there in a central Jersey nursing home you were there- an elderly woman in a very proper house dress with bound button holes screaming in horror……maybe just a little. Now I’m hooked. I plan a dress, a coat and maybe a vintage Vogue dress! If the camera had been playing nice with me, I’d have a picture here to show you……well, if it makes you feel any better, I still pin left handed just like you do.


Anne B –  class of ’88.

Halloween at Disney- it’s going to be toasty

So every year my husband and I attend Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party at Mecca  Disney World. I’m not a big costume gal. I dress a little silly each day already- why save it up for one night? But the mouse lets you wear a costume for this, so wear costumes the Husband and I shall!

As a sewist, how hard should this be?

My husband loves to follow rules, collect badges and wear shorts and polo shirts, so this is a no-brainer for him. He is definitely Russell. I get to be Dug the dog! Lucky me! Orlando in October in a plush dog costume! I am in heaven!

I’m planning  to add the appropriate cone of shame:

It would be so easy to buy a dog costume, right? Nooooooooo. My question is- why do all of the animal costumes you can purchase have to be so sleazy???

Who is standing in Party City saying, ‘I want to be a cartoon dog for Halloween, but a SEXY one! ‘ I can’t even show some of the freakish things that pop up when you google ‘adult dog costumes’ – I respect you all too much! I also don’t want the husband getting any ideas in his head!

So I plan to buy the standard animal costume pattern from the Big4 and add some extra girth area -because Dug needs it, not for me of course- I am a dainty wraith!- in the hip and tuckus area. i’m hoping to locate the most thin breathable doggish fabric available so that this evening doesn’t turn into the Disney Trail of tears. Perhaps I’ll lose some weight just attending the party in my doggy sweatingsuit. Luckilly for me, Disney does not let you wear full concealment masks in the park, so shucks, I can’t wear a giant dog head?!

As this tragedy unfolds- I’ll keep you posted on my labors!

10/12 Update:

Here’s my headpiece- I’ll have a pic with me in it when my collar is done…..

Trying to decide if a fake nose is really necessary…any thoughts?

Wearable Wednesday featuring perfect cheekbones….

I know that some things are an acquired taste. Like liverwurst, footless tights, hairless chihuahuas and Victoria Beckham. Personally, I love her Lady Shallowness. I just know that we would get along famously and there would be a room permanently reserved for me at Beckingham palace and we would stay up until all hours doing each others hair and prank calling Gordon Ramsey and eating fudge and giggling. Wait……actually thats me and David- I’m not sure I’d get get along well with Victoria at all. But anyhoo.

 Look at that loving expression- she is radiating love to us. But lets talk about her greatest achievemnt to date.

No, not David Beckham. We’ll return to him in another post. I mean the Victoria by Victoria Beckham Spring 2012 Ready to Wear Show. 

I’m not sure if the bodice on this 1st one is really featuring a mail slot, but hey, how handy would that be for us clerical types!

I like this next one- lots of good lines and the shoes are making me a little giddy.

I’m wondering if she designed these while pregnant and felt that all of us needed to be wearing clothing with  a lot of room to feel her pain? Is she suffers, we all suffer.

Yes, it has cats. I like that.  I expect little tiny Beatles and blue meanies to emerge on the hem of this one:

Now, your thoughts on this line or Beckham slumber parties or whatever.

Credits: Style.comPhoto

A little sunday something…

I did get some pics taken today- before I got wrinkly, too!

Aw, I’ve embarassed Bruder-boo with my wonky hem- it just needs a little ironing, I think. This is simplicity 2025- one of the lovely new $1.49 Sew Simple designs. I’m happy. I skipped the back zipper- it is an easy over the head tunic. I changed the neckline- it was very low cut- even by my sleazy standards! I love the sleeves and my free to me Deanna fabric. I want to find a border print to use next time.

yes, just like Edward, I appear to sparkle in full sunlight. Bathe in your jealousy.

What have I done for me lately….

I planned to hunker down in the Sewers Bordello- create masterworks and gently stroke my new loves- who I tentatively refer to as Lillian and Dorothy after the Gish sisters, but no…….

Mr B felt the need to hitch up the wagon and drive into the big city.

So because he’s really very tolerant of my shenanigans I sighed heavilly and went along. We did our usual route- lunch, a triangular trek about town looking for a phantom camera shop and a trip to Whole Foods.  So I didn’t get any pictures of my lovely purple creation I made last week, or finish the Cheetah frock, but I have been busy, I swear!

I’m trying to participate in the Fall Palette Planning – I have chosen browns, pinks and burgundies and with some green thrown in to make myself look like a chubby azalea bush from the right angle- but I think these colors are the most flattering on my delicate complexion- or lack there of.

Now I need a pinky swear that the following pictures of stash closet madness will not make it back to Mr B….

Ok, I have some fabric now and a lot of patterns, but the planning and follow thru are my enemy- I flit a little. I like to make what I feel like making, so when a new bright, shiny object appears before me, I change the plan.

Fashion Week is not helping!

Check out this Monique Lhullier:

and this Cynthia Rowley:

and this by Band of Outsiders:

I am seriously chasing my tail now!