Nina just doesn’t get my work…..

Heidi:  Today we will judge your latest efforts and as always one of you will be moving on and one of you will be out.

Me: But I’m not a contestant, I’m just making some doll clothes for a friend…..does that light have to be right in my eyes?

Nina: Lets look at the first piece. I find this a little bland- do you really understand who your client is? Do you see perhaps a professional woman in this?

Me: well, no, more of a toddler, I guess.

Michael: Never underestimate your client! They are your Lifes’s blood! It’s the kiss of death, right Colin Firth, Guest Judge?

Colin: I’m not sure why I’m here, is this Helen Mirren’s Celebrity Duck Hunt?

Heidi: lets talk about the pink one! I’d wear that. In fact, I know my husband would love me in that. It’s like a Leider-romper!

Michael: Leider-rompers are SO Halston 1995….I’m so over it- it’s like a diaper cover or something for a washer woman!

Me; Well, it is a diaper cover…

Heidi: Can I try it on? NOW?

Me; um, I guess, the crotch snaps….

Michael: Did you say snap crotch?  Oy vey!

Nina: oh, daring, risky – but so derivitive of Viviene Westwood 1984- is that really what you want to say?

Michael: Snap crotch takes me back to my Studio 54 days…..

Nina: It needs editorial thought and introspective- I’m not sure where you are going with this collection

Me: I’m not really a contestant on Project Runway-

Michael: Well, not if you can’t take criticism and act like you aren’t even involved in the competition! All designers get negative reviews- not me of course, I design for Gwyneth Paltrow, but other people get bad reviews….you need to toughen up and find your muse!

Colin: Seriously, am I being paid for this?

Heidi: Anne, I think it’s obvious that you have ideas, a good work ethic, but your vision is muddled and your collection looks like it’s for an incontinent fatty. I’m sorry, but it’s ALVETERZANE!

Nina: Colin, can I get a ride to that duck hunt with you?

Colin: No. Not unless someone pays me for this.

I sure hope Bitty Baby is more understanding…..

Photo credits: Definitely NOT

17 thoughts on “Nina just doesn’t get my work…..

  1. OMG, you nailed their commentary! Best laugh I’ve had this morning. The doll clothes look adorable, and appropriate for a toddler doll so….

    Hopefully the process wasn’t too arduous. I especially like the purple romper, although I’m having shudders at the thought of Michael Kors in a snap crotch. EWWWWWW.


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