Wearable Wednesday- Commes des Garcons

‘The Future is 2 dimensional’. Thats our premise today. Rei Kawakubu has rabid fans and I’m sure this show was amazing in person, but I’m not so sure that most of us can get behind this collection. You tell me. Now I’m trying to be open-minded and not just pick, but these are more avant-garde than ready to wear aren’t they? Unless you are actually a really stylish hand puppet?Is it just me or are their wiglets crooked? or jaunty. Maybe they are jaunty.Floral Ninjas! They are everywhere- you just don’t know it. This must be how they keep the Queen safe at the  flower show! You can’t be depressed around this much construction paper- it just isn’t possible. 

Ok, I’m  a coat whore- I actually sort of like this. The shoes look sort of sexy Olive Oyle, too. This last one is this seasons must have illusion dress done to death by Paul’s daughter- look how the inset panel makes her look sooo thin! It’s a sartorial magic trick! Ok, I call upon someone with a good eye and open mind to defend these and give us some perspective on it. I give you my personal Ivory soapbox to perch on.  The article I linked to at the beginning of the post shows real wearers and they are making some pretty interesting statements in this designer- maybe this just isn’t the best show to pull good pieces from. Lets have some individuality debate on this- does it have to be flattering to be fabulous? As an aside,  I have to ask, does anyone else keep thinking about Joan Cusacks character in TOYS?

photo credits: style.com

Simplicity 1806- Look kids, a normal top!

It seems that usually I base my sewing on absolutely no reality of lifestyle at all. It’s like I have a little bracelet I consult: ‘WWLBPW’ * for ideas. has made me realize that I have NO NORMAL CLOTHES! I may even (gasp) start sewing with a plan! Oh, heavens- that is just too mature for me! Quick! 2 Pixie sticks STAT! So this week I hid from the cushions for a few hours to make Simplicity 1806:

I did the view the model is threatening us in. There were no major alterations to report- it is what it is. I found a major sale at Hancock’s on a gauzy cottony shear with silver metallic stripes going thru it. It’s ALMOST a solid for those of you  keeping score- I’m inching toward a solid- I think I can, I think I can….NOPE! I must sew gaudily. To make sure my gaudy point came across, I inserted a little chain across the front- cuz I’m tough!As always Mr B was totally willing to facilitate the photo shoot in an unlikely place: The Russell Stovers Outlet! Does anyone need any Valentines candy early? I’m on it! Yes, my camera man let me stand in front of the weight watcher candy- oh, he’ll be punished.Yes, friends, this is acting! Look at me feigning intense interest in this candy- all to make this posting realistic. Lord, I gives until it hurts!‘Every day I’m trufflin’ trufflin’………’

photo credits: meadhawg, google images, pattern review

*What would little bo peeop wear?’

Back when I was carefree…..

I’m still in upholstery purgatory. I can see the end of the tunnel, but not much light yet. I’m hoping this 3 day weekend will get me thru this and back where I belong in self-indulgence city. So I thought I would show you some things I made for my favorite models- the little ones that don’t complain. Back in my former life before the recession made the doll couture audience dwindle a bit. Sigh.

I really enjoy making doll clothes- you can get so much more ‘busy’ in your prints and embellishments than you can on most people clothes-I also got to buy alot of new dolls to ‘keep ahead of the curve’ of course- not because I just needed her!I could also take these to my side job and hem very discreetly! These are also further proof that I am the most spoiled wife ever- Mr B would dutifully stop playing Call of Duty to take these tiny photo shoots whenever I asked! Did I mention that you feel so much less guilt when you purchase tiny fabric amounts?

Ok, here’s one more:

Ok, I’d better go pin piping now. sigh……

photo credits: meadhawg, google images

Wearable Wednesday Naeem Khan

I need to see pretty today. Anybody else want to see some frivolous, lovelies? Good. We’re agreed. Here we go!

This collection wasn’t big on color, but so beautiful that my gaudy self will give him a hallpass.

Here is the obligatory slit to the snout one we need to get Rhiannas stylists attention- hey is that a surgical boot? 

Now the Homage to Fantasia:

Aren’t they all lovely?

Don’t I wish  I were thin and wealthy?

Katherine of Cambridge, are you paying attention? You could get a little subtle flash up in the castle!

photo credits: style.com

Simplicity 1796 the one like Ann Romano had

Simplicity was super swell and sent me this new Plus-sized pattern to try out. I immediately took to my bed as they say and after 3 days of weeping, I reconciled myself to them thinking that I was a plus-sized gal (seriously- who thinks that?!) and  found a lovely orange border print that I had gotten super cheap. Now I’m not anti-orange, but in my neck of the woods it implies a devotion to a particular cow college that features a blinding plastic orange paw print and tiger motif. So I avoid it. But I want to join the tangerine tango bandwagon too, so I cut out this hardly obnoxious fabric.   I chose view A- I loved the semi-Rowley sleeves and the neckline promised much flattery to my little collarbones.  The other views made me think too much about that duchess that stole my child groom away. I just know his mother would have wanted us to be together.

The instructions as always were very easy to follow and the results pleasing. But something kept stopping me. I am not sold on this skirt shape for my size- it came out far too close to my body.  You know I don’t go to work in dresses and if I do a dress I like it to resemble a group of small children playing parachute. This cut kept reminding me of something- someone. Someone I found soo cool when I was a kid. a sassy career girl that I was fascinated by that had her own apartment, a career in advertising and a whacky handyman. This shape reminds me of the styles I found so sophisticated when I was a child- Ann Romano!

So I really love the top half of this, but the bottom just doesn’t fit my lifestyle and maybe isn’t the best hovercraft for my tuckus. I am basically a flashy top and neutral bottom kind of filly on a daily basis. So I’ve followed the lead of several other bloggers and started cropping patterns- so for Simplicity’s sake, I give you the pattern as they intended but without the horror of how it flattens out my caboose:

 ……and then the Anne Plan as I like to think of it. Cropped with a wide waistband. Here I am in my simulated Lancome ad setting:

As always, I feel that leopard is the ultimate neutral. I was pleased to see how well this matched my Betsey Johnson carrot necklace- great huh?

There was one other predator at play in my sanctuary….

photo credits: meadhawg, pattern review,google images

Friday morning Riviera Swinton Sighting!

If you have had your Tildopplers set to Cannes you saw our ‘Oddess appear twice so far:

‘Namaste, people of earth’

In other pictures you can see she’s recycling the shoes- her winged horse had less saddle bag space than the Ton-Ton she usually takes to appearances. I like.

‘Dude- did you see I’m with tilda Swinton????’

How do other Tildanians feel about these? I think the colors are wonderful on her. Maybe not so much on Mr Murray.

Photo credits: Zimbio

Wearable Wednesday! Chanel lets us eat cake

Ok, now this is resort wear, so technically it isn’t Ready to Wear, but people, bear with me- it is a cratepaper crazy,special tailoring odyssey and I want you to join me. Ready? We’re at Varseille with the Swinton who is being captured by the Kaiser- but nobody puts our Tilda in a corner! Not even Karls team of bobbed fembots in ground gripping shoes!

Oh, Coco. Jessica Simpson just bought these pants.

 I love this jacket.

Why are they angry- their feet can’t hurt?!

 I want this- unless the nightgown restraining her is actually part of it…

Does your pink eyeshadow make you look like you have an infection? Yeah, me too.

Well, children of the revolution, how do you feel?

photo credits: style.com, google images

Project Avoidance, the Dante edition

I’ve taken on a project. I am a fool. I am the Ado Annie of sewing.  Just a girl that can’t say no. Just when I oughta, I cain’t. I agreed to make 3 large (they grow larger every time I think about them) bench cushions for a friends mother-in-law.  I know this isn’t what happened but I swear this is how I remember it:

‘Psst- I’m just going to need some cushions or I’ll condemn your soul to hell.’  Ok, it may sound melodramatic, I swear, that’s just how I remember it.

Sewing for other people is crap. I am just not nice enough to make pretty things for other people, but I’m trapped now. In tropical print upholstery hell of my own making.

‘Thou shalt cut strips of no more than 3 inches on the bias and run cording thru them until the sins of your family are penanced for the last 3 generations. Go forth and upholster until they brow bleeds and you cannot bear to look upon Waverly without weeping.’  I’m actually pleased with how the zipper is looking on this one.

What I forgot about when I agreed was how much I loathe the cutting out part of a project. Especially the cutting out of mile long strips and such for projects like this.  So I’m rationing it out to 2 hours of working on it at a time.  That way it hardly seems like torture at all……

On a positive note (yes, I have those!) Me Made May 2012 is rocking along and I’ve been very good! I even joined the flickr group!

photo credits: little me, google images

A day without Tilda is a day without enviable bonestructure

Sigh. A whole week without a Swinton sighting. How can this be? It’s just wrong. I know she is probably busy defending the universe from alien threat or having her cheekbones studied in Prague, so here is a look at some previous Swinton Apparitions to keep us going until her next movie comes out. Last years Cannes Film Festival:

The Venice Film Festival- look she has toes!

The Darjeeling Limited Premiere- she looks like a very cool spy:

Now don’t forget, little Swintons! We at Our Lady of Perpetual Swinton are counting on you to report sightings as they occur.

photo credits: zimbio, exposaycom

Wearable Wednesday- Prada after the Met Ball

Ugh. So many text messages from Goopy this week. She has no respect for my quality time at the IHOP with Mr B.  ‘Use Prada, this week, use Prada’, ‘why isn’t my husbands cd in your car?’   ‘can you tell I ate a grape?’. ‘Do you think Stella Mcartney is talking about me?’ Well, ok, Gwynnie- to make you happy on one account:

Prada!!! Ta da!!!

First person to comment on the shoes gets a kewpie doll. They remind me of little dayglo galoshes. I’ll bet that Helena Bonham Carter has a pair.  You will scratch furniture with this collection, but isn’t it worth it?

‘When you get to her eyebrows, turn off the air-brush gun…’

Seriously- the shoes are growing on me.

well, not the white ones- they look like bondage nursewear. Don’t google that- especially during National Nurses Week.

photo credits: style.com, gofugyourself