Oh, My!

This has been a week of fun and surprises!

On Wednesday I awoke to  see Wednesday Showcase at Rhonda’s Creative Life was featuring Becca (she seems nice!) and little me (I can be sweet!)! isn’t that cool? I follow in some very intimidating and inspiring footsteps!  The pups don’t think so- they got very little coverage, they really weren’t sure what the point was at all if they weren’t featured! Psst- hey houndys, it’s MY sewing blog!!Katze  had even bathed to prepare for any photo shoots that might  come along.

The Lady of Alliteration, Denise – let young Jimmy Olsen into my lair for a  visit and the results are a minor expose on hoarding and chaos!

Thank you Ladies, you made me blush and beam (that was for you Denise) !One a side note- Katze’s profile in Mensa Weekly is still on hold while they continue to search for her credentials. sigh….

I  other news, I’m plugging along on my Simplicity 1880- leopard silky stretchy marvelousness!

photo credits: meadhawg, google images

Mother of Pearl! it’s Wearable Wednesday

‘Don’t be put off by the hermaphrodite polar bears….’ Thats the first sentence on the micro review Style.com posted for Mother of Pearl’s 2012 resort collection. I immediately am too intrigued to move on! Aren’t you? Deep breathe now- here we go- you’ve had your warning /disclaimer!  

Ok, that’s ok, I’m mildly intrigued and not scared…I like the shapes of this collection-they are all very summer wearable, but something is lurking in the tall grass , waiting to pounce…..

Um, ok- cute- eyeballs, perhaps?  I could see this, looks comfy…..good arch support…..ugh- this is what my shoe rack would look like if my mother picked everything out. Neutral sensible wedges and good ankle support. Meh!

Is that a matching rucksack! Are those browning roses? Monkeys? Tiny faces of Mickey Rourke?  MMM, ok, when do those polar bears come in?

Oh, I conjured them up…..oh……umm…..that’s kind of icky. I’d like to forget I saw that. I think I need to close my eyes and picture Audrey Hepburn in a nuns habit holding a persian kitten to cleanse my mind and soul. Lets all do it together on a count of three. Give it a minute, you’ll feel better.

I’m peeking from between myfingers- I don’t think these coyotes have extra parts, do you? I can’t go thru that again.  Mercy! Are those ankles elasticized?!

Let’s throw it all together for a birdy-eye Mickey Rourke pant suit ruck sack combo. So i think I like it all as pieces- I’d say parts, but that might bring the bears back…….I wouldn’t mind a Mickey Rourke head duster.

But let’s get your take on it- jury? whats the verdict? Does Emma One Sock carry these prints? Can I get a shopping report on that?  If you need me, I’ll be praying for the citizens of the arctic circle. Maybe it isn’t global warming creating a hostile environment for them. They have far bigger issues than we knew of…..is there a Veterinarians without Boarders telethon in the works for this?

photo credits: style.com

Burda- why ya gotta treat me so bad?

Burda and I have a special relationship. I have a favorite babydoll dress I wear all summer and ignore how my tuckus looks in, and evertime I trot it out I think, “Oh Burda, I love you, lets look for more patterns just like you!’ and then the horror starts. Burda treats me like the guys back in high school…… ‘Oh, mama, Burda isn’t bad- just misunderstood!’   Oh, honey no. Sometimes Burda is bad.  Grab a malted and hear my tale.

I’ve only seen this pattern reviewed with the long-sleeved version. I wanted something a little different and I wanted to use more of my foolish upholstery purchase of 2011, so I chose the other view. Thats when the party started.

    This is when Burda started to remind me of guys I’d known. They never want to tell you what they are thinking!!! Burda 7401 just didn’t want to talk feelings with me.

Once you have put the darts in the front side piece and the back side piece, they are never mentioned or shown again, so if the written instructions are as vague as a high school boy (they are) you end up relying on the faithless pictures to guide you. 

‘Meet me later, we’ll hang out’  Where, when???? Hey, will you call me???????

  I read the pattern, I reread the pattern, I lit candles, I wailed and gnashed my teeth. I searched online and everyone had the same issue- so  I pinned her up onto Twiggy and tried to piece it out. For some reason, I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the sleeve pieces having a dart in the front, a dart in the back and then a straight rectangle side panel separating them- distorting the shape in my mind. Am I crazy? I let Twiggy wear it for about a week and she didn’t give me any good advise.  I contemplated aggressive acts upon it- I wondered how well that fabric would look as a throw pillow- a kimono sleeved throw pillow. I even tried to make it jealous by talking to other patterns, but no, it would not share its innermost feelings with me.  It even cheated on me with other people! Pattern Review Ok, sure it was last year, but damn it, it still hurt!

Finally I just gave in and put that stupid side panel in and oh, look, it’s a little jacket- how fun, how cute! it’s a 2 day project turned into a week of stomping and fist shaking and questioning my sanity. Seriously, I need to be thankful that my life is so dramaless that THIS was the thing that kept me up at night. Thanks, Lord.

Photo shoot hijacked officially:

At that point I really felt that I was going to make it to the prom with this pattern, but no, that’s when I started to wonder about closure. No, not Dr Phil closures- the actual ones that keep my flesh covered. Ok, I read the instructions a 54th time. There are no instructions about closures! Are we to assume that gaudy bib necklace of old typewriter keys on the envelope is the only thing securing that top? On the back of the envelope I see a picture advising me to buy 2 snaps, but where they might best be sewn is up to the wearer.  ‘Snap discretion’ is the better part of valor, I suppose.  I gave it a little lapel fold and it felt a little less boxy. I like.

Welll, it is her chair.

photo credits: meadhawg, google images

Wearable Wednesday Dolce & Gabbana – ‘gilty’ pleasure

The reason I like D&G is they make such sensible basics that a modern woman can easily incorporate into their everyday attire. If she just happens to be a Hapsburg! ‘Altho long discredited, Mrs Anderson persisted in subtlety claiming to be the Grand duchess and wearing the Imperial families faberge designed Christmas tree skirt to parties….’‘My Mother had one of those parlors where you couldn’t sit on the furniture…after the funeral, I made a spunky frock out of her favorite chair cushion…..’“Curses! My hands are freezing and I can never find the pockets on my coat-‘‘Mona would never know why she didn’t get the job at the shelter- she knew she gave a sparking interview….’

Have you ever woken up in a cold sweat after that dream where Versailles comes alive and tries to kill you? Maybe it’s just me……  I think this is from the ceiling in Donatellas bathroom- I wonder how they got in there?

photo credits: style.com

Simplicity 1800- With or without toes….

Summer………………..flirty little dresses, beautiful blue skies and  strappy sandals.Ok, scratch that last bit. Get ready to hear just one more reason that I am just not normal. I don’t want to look like Victor Mature, no it’s not that.Altho if you, thats just fine. He has many admirable qualities, I’m sure.  I’m talking about just not being a sandal girl. I have never owned flip flops.  I have 4 million (that number has been carefully tabulated by the husband who needs to get his big nose out of my closet before I take a stick to him) pairs of assorted ballet flats and little sneakers. But every year I get this wild idea that I will find the sandal that makes my heart glad and we will caper thru the meadows and my toes shall live free. Then I give up and buy more skimmers. But as I sewed this project I kept thinking- maybe this will be the year I find my perfect sandal! But enough about my toe-reveal issues! By the by- I’ll send a free vintage pattern to the first commenter that can find the medical term for fear of meta-phalangeal nudity. Dig the glowing flesh! This weeks favorite new summer dress- Simplicity 1800. One of those fabulously easy patterns with varying cup sizes. The Husband also helpfully pointed out that it also has pseudo-marsupial pockets- cuz thats how I roll, you know. It’s very much like Simplicity 2174 but more pleaty and less sleevy.Continuing our tour of my scenic hamlet- I bring you a shot in front of one of our civil buildings. I swear it’s the first times I’ve been there!  Pattern review thoughts and feelings: Fabric mart fun cotton, I skipped the back zipper- it flowed right over my pointed head successfully! No other structural changes- it’s frisky-fab in my book.Oh, it also matches my newest love- my Dr Marten Deidres! The box says ‘rose’ but we all know it’s ‘good and plenty’ pink. God bless ’em! No, I still haven’t found the grail sandal, but these make me think of Christopher Robin in drag and isn’t that a good image!  My Dr Marten addiction is progressing nicely, don’t you think? So glad to be back to full frontal me sewing!!!!

photo credits: pattern review.com, meadhawg, google images

Liberation achieved!

At last- the curse is lifted! This morning my spousal’ and I shall drop off the dreaded cushions and I shall be free! Here is one of the barren spots my overly-piped work will grace.  Ah, bringing color to beige lives- I’m like Mother Theresa…..only shallow of course. Since NOTHING looks better than when modeled with or by diminutive German hound- I bring you ‘Bruder and the cushions he should not be on’ …….Why are you not on the cushions Baby Bru’? Oh, Liesl kicked you off, did she? Oh, you were just being gracious and giving her a turn, I see.

Ok, now what?  I think I’ll join A Fashionable Stitch‘s 2-in-1 Sewalong and make Simplicity 1880…..frisky Leopard print challis me thinks.

I will not be trying the mock wrap version- I am not ready to deal with my gaposis issues just yet! I want the Jenny Packham-esque style- I won’t look like Kate in it, but maybe one of the trashy cousins they felt obliged to invite to the wedding and had a cheap seat behind a column….

Ahhhh……sweet freedom, it was only 3 cushions and a window dressing away all along.

photo credits: little me, google images, a Fashionable stitch

Wearable Wednesday – Nanette Lepore….sigh

I just need a serious injection of light and fluffy this morning.It’s been a rough week so far.  Hows this? Nanette Lepore. Say it with me. It even sounds girly. Like a very special macaroon that couldn’t possibly make you fat.  I think I could see myself in this- Perhaps not with the booties, but hey, why not…. they do match the handbag.You know I love me some mixed patterns…It makes me think of Anna Sui a bit…….Can I get those shoes from zappos?In my heart of hearts I am a willowy, fawnlike creature. usually followed around by a young Asian male playing the harpsichord. Don’t analyze- just go with it. This is what I’m wearing in most of my slim-hipped fantasies. Usually while I bottle feed tiny unscented lambs that are wearing wild flower wreathes- that match the one on my manservant.    When I have my fantasy business meetings with Jeremy Northam- who likes to over-flatter me about my accounting skills and houndstoothy hotness, I wear something like this…..Jeremy, oh, stop…….

I want that blouse. I’d be a really good person in that blouse, I just know it. The shoes would be mirrors of my pure soul. I’d also like a macaroon.

photo credits:style.com

Damn it Jim, I’m a Doctor, not a Marsupial……Mccalls 6565

My husband is so proud right now. Not of my sewista activities- the Star Trek reference of course.

Ok, back to my agenda. I seem to always sew the pattern everyone has made:

Or the pattern no one has made. Either way, this time I’m rocking a pouch area in the front. This spring fashion forecast calls for kangaroos and neons! 

I chose view D- little sleevelets and less pleating on areas that I surely do not need pleating. Seriously, I found it to be the most redeeming shape of all the options- if the model looks like she’s been gathering acorns at Karl Lagerfelds chalet, what would I look like in it?! I have inadvertently created my first – non-wearable muslin! This is it’s best view:This fabric has been with me for far too long- it’s serious polyester. It’s like the least breathable fabric on the planet. It repels natural fibers. But it was cheap and brightly colored and that is my downfall- it’s also what I’m hoping to be when I grow up.  Some issues to correct when I try again with a decent fabric:  the pattern called for self-facings, that ended below the bust and  lining material to complete the rest of it. A 2-toned lining! Hmm.  It doesn’t show, why do it? If I had more foresight, I’d have made the entire lining in just the lining material- 2 layers of this fabric is impervious to ironing, I’ve trimmed, I’ve clipped, I’ve summoned a priest, it will not lay flat- it is alive! Living Polyester- truly an oxymoron.  My other issue that is sort of fabric driven is the hem- it has that roll over effect and in a non-flowing fabric it just looks like I’m bunchy. The length is not so cool either- not really a top, too short to be a tunic, too sleazy to be a dress.Sleeves! I of course opted for sleeves- the upper arm cutlets always get camouflage when available. Ok, sleeves is a loose term- these turned out to really just be shoulder awnings. I can picture a tiny doorman lurking near my clavicles in case anyone fancy needs help finding my arm pit.

So after all this complaining, why am I still so enamored of this pattern?  I just really think that in the right fabric, this could be really cute and it was really fun to sew and it has pocket/pouches! So I am off to the closet of textile hoarding to get some good fabric and start over with my list of grievances and schemes.

photo credits: meadhawg, google images

Wearable Wednesday A Detacher makes me feel detached

Well, I am so pleased at how much Charles we are seeing this week- let’s have our House DJ ChuckeSlide play for us as we explore the work of Mona Kowalska- the head of A Detacher.

On the beat now- ‘Ain’t no party like a Windsor party, cuz a Windsor party don’t stop- Word to my Mother’

Sleeves. Ladies, don’t forget to mark and notch your sleeve pieces.  Hmm. I’m sort of out of thoughts on these. Chuck- play something loud and bouncy.  Camilla – join us on the beatbox. ‘If there’s a problem, Mum will solve it, check out the hook while the DJ revolves it….”  Awesome grooves, sir.  That wass my favorite- maybe I’m just not about sleeves starting on the shoulder blades. Oh and surprise, it’s a print material! Comments? help me out here, I’m sort of blah on this- not enough to terrify, but not enough to get enthused over. Altho- I’m fascinated by the riddle of how garments can look restrictive, yet baggy at the same time. She doesn’t look enthused either, maybe it’s not just me. I’m not even sure Charles’s Jubilee mashup of Teddy Bear Picnic and Will.I.am is going to save this for me.  Sort me out here- newbie sewing disaster-esque or cutting edge inspiration?

photo credits: style.com, UK Daily Mail

Simplicity 3964 goes to the Vet…..

The skies are charcoal gray,
It’s a dreary downtown day,
But at the end of my 40 foot leash,Is my little friend Quiche.
Quiche La Poodle is her name
And having a good time on a crummy day is our game.
Quiche Quiche Lorraine
Quiche Quiche Lorraine
Everyday I take her out. Yea!
She runs around, she shouts out and barks, Yea!
Cause she’s a good doggie
She’s a sweet, sweet, sweet puppy! Arf Arf
And I know she’ll stick by me, Yea! Arf Arf
Oh no! Here comes a Great Dane
Drivin’ down the lane
Quiche, Quiche, Quiche come back here;
Don’t leave me.
I’ll go insane.
I’ll go insane.
How do you like that?
Has anybody seen a dog dyed dark green.
About two inches tall, with a strawberry blonde fall;
Sunglasses and a bonnet
and designer jeans with appliques on it?
The dog that brought me so much joy
Left me wallowing in pain.
Quiche Lorraine.
I’ll show her!
Do you see the key in my hand?
I’m gonna throw it in the lake.
Yea, you’ve been so rotten to me,
You take the cake.
I’m just gonna lock the door to your kennel,
and just you try and come back to me.
Yea, you’ll see.
Quiche Quiche Lorraine You mangy mutt.
Quiche Quiche Lorraine I’m talking about Quiche!
Quiche Quiche Lorraine Quiche Lorraine!

I’m not sure that you all deserve such  lovely action shots- these were no planned- I got into my posin’ mode and they got into their poopin’ mode. My timing was just perfect. Here we are in front of the vets office- post visit. The husband asked the receptionist if we could reweigh them after this. She wasn’t too amused. We bag our business of course- public service announcement- take only pictures leave no poop behind! Love your planet, etc., etc.  Back to serious sewista business! I’ve had this pattern for way too long, along with the wonderful inset material- that was a mystery make giveaway from Kat the bountiful (in so many ways) and I just wanted it to be a focus and this pattern screamed that. This little frock is also a first for me. I entered the world of pattern altering! My sweet pattern givin’ friend underestimated the size of these little hips (see, she’s sweet!) and I got to slash and reposition and tape to my- and the cats hearts content. I went from a 12 to an 18 and it worked! I’m probably not ready for a vintage pattern, but I did it! I also got to practice my curves and gathering-phew!~ I don’t think I’d make this one again tho, its exceptionally poofy- I still might pull the sides in a wee nip- and it’s a bit too unique to have too many of- ha! another pop piece! Unlike dachshunds- you should have many of those.

Katze made this forlorn face for the rest of the evening- getting her annual shots was just too much of a betrayal for her to look at us. She hunkered down under the sofa and deflated/sighed all evening. Sometimes you just can’t cheer a melancholy dachshund. Not even with the B-52’s…….

photo credits: meadhawg, lyrics compliments of the wonderful B-52’s!