Chiffon Wearin’ Olympic Watchin’ Martyr!

This weekend I was totally after some instant gratification sewing because I am an olympic widow. The husband insists on watching every moment of medal earning sweat.  Now I am not anti-sport, nor am I against the 40 pound Wellington he served for the opening ceremony. I just can’t watch every Costas laden minute. Sorry, Bob- you get boring.

I saw this Simplicity  and I thought, oh, perhaps I could use some fabric I already have. OH, what a thought! So I donned my pith helmet, grabbed my machete and an orange cat guide and opened the door to the textile Hoarding closet of doom and sallied forth. Tada! I was generously gifted with a ton of fancy sheers and fluffies from my friend Deanna when she moved and they are all cut into lengths and soo prettypretty! When I find a pattern that has long narrow pieces I immediately save it for these fabrics. This pattern is perfect for it.I did a hybrid of 2 views- I always want a little sleeve on things, so I added the short sleeves to the faux wrap view and skipped the back gathering section. I like it belted, anyhoo. Especially some zebra!

So how does a 1 hour top turn into a 3 hour top? Chiffon  and french seams!  I am proud to announce that every mother-lovin’ blessed seam is french seamed. I tried to explain to the husband how cool this was, but he didn’t really understand the idea of an indestructible chiffon top. Well, fine!

I only had one issue, I got a little dizzy with all the turning and flipping to get the crossover part french seamed- but I did. By the by- does ‘french seam’ have tenses? I keep wanting to write ‘I frenched it’ but it just seems so wrong…. One more Disney top done!

On an unrelated note- this week the animals got a pet door. It is baffling them.  If they walk up to it, they don’t think that they can go thru it. If they run up to it, they barrel thru. It’s sort of the dachshund equivalent of Hogwarts train depot.

photo credits: headhawg, pattern review, google images

This Years Model

I had a birthday this week- not a banner number, one of the between ones.  The husband is a very tech guy- he’s all about equipment an d such. He has had a bit of a dislike for poor Twiggy……the dress form I have had since high school who has been padded and abused and followed me across 2 states and is so loyal.  Even tho its birthday week I still won’t divulge the year I got her, but here’s a hint: I’ll bet you’d guessed as much!

Well, as Elvis C sang- here’s this years model…..forgive the spotty lighting, but dude, she’s naked?! This is an extremely thoughtful gift- he always does so well- but now...le sigh……I have to spend the rest of the day measuring myself, adjusting and weeping over the numbers!photo credits: little me, Elvis, google images

Summer Swap Reveal- you will be jealous!

Wow! I signed up for Kestrals Summer Swap and ooh-lala was I spoiled! I just know that my partner was secretly in kahoots with Candi Spelling! It was all so beautifully wrapped and thought out.   I feel sort of packaging-poor in comparison. Got to work on my details- I’m sure she thought my offering was parcelled with all the finesse of Laverne and Shirley on Supermarket Sweep!Check this out! I got paired with The Crafty Traveller – don’t you love that name? I picture Mcgyver with much better vacation slides! She must have some doozies- I think Bruce signed her cleavage! As a red-headed Jersey girl- I consider that to be very good! Ok, moving left to right-

-Fabulous Simplicity pattern to make me look like Gidget- got it!

-Amazingly gorgeous postcards of British couture gowns to dazzle my penpals…if they deserve them! – got ’em!

-Way cool birdy-bird iron ons- oh, yes! I gots em!

– Now this is very cool- little clothing labels by the yard with little nursery rhymes! I can’t wait to use these- I’ve been thinking about making labels and these are over-loading on cute! Now I must say- this young lady has seen into the depths of my shallow soul and really nailed this swap- I am so giddy about this haul!!! Thank you so much Kestral and my favorite Traveller!

photo credits: meadhawg,

Wearable Wednesday – Jean Paul Gaultier

Now I must admit to a tiny little top hat fetish. I find them jaunty and silly. I have no idea where I could wear such things- I suppose that I would wear them to the same place I will wear this: That noise you heard was merely the metallic lining of my duster rubbing against my metallic-clad buttocks on the bus seat – don’t be so immature! Dita wears this to run out for extra swiffer pads on rainy days……Never let Klimt design your church’s new choir robes…..I’m very concerned about how thin her legs look?! I thought it was an optical illusion… Phew- I wore this just yesterday. I was so pleased to find the perfect place to hang my name badge! Gee, I thought it was so subtle until I saw the navel embellishment?! Why don’t I have events for this?? Events that call for crotch spangles?!

I am speechless….treasure the moment, everyone….. G…… One more- I’ll let you caption it. Extra points for haiku:  photo credits:style. com

Simplicity 2702 Sandwiches and Scuplture Arts…..

In my constant pursuit of clothing that fits my fascinating lifestyle of work, television viewing, sniping and planning Disney trips, I have revisited the tunic zone. Lord know I hate having to suck in and these are so perfect for the lazy abdomen’d!Mr B and I drove into Greenville on saturday to take in some culcha’. Ok, no. We drove in so he could gorge on paneer and goat briahni. We happened to see a sign for an art exhibit on Russian Icons and Faberge. The above was not from it. No pictures in the icon exhibit, I totally understand- this park was much more photo accomodating….. **Camera tip- you don’t need a flash if you have these legs** You know, when I think William Morris textiles, I think……algae green cheetah! Yes, I think somewhere in a well-tended crypt area, William Morris is doing some serious sit and spins inside at the idea of combining one of his textile prints- lovingly recreated in quilty cotton and paired with a cheetah spot print. But by the power of greyskull, it works! Ok, it works for me.Now about this pattern- are you tilting your head and saying, ‘Lisette?’ it looks totally in that wheelhouse. Where I should have stayed. The yoke on this is lovely in theory, but I found the attaching to be so annoying that I ended up putting the dress on Twiggy, building the collar and then sandwiching the dress into it and then top stitching it together.

Yes, I feel dirty!  I know it was a horrible technique! I know that there are artisan nuns wailing in horror, but I got a wearable dress and it has no exposed edges on that yoke. Other than adding french seams to the shoulders and side seams, I kept to the straight and narrow directions-wise. Oh, I left off the front patch pockets. It was starting to get a geriatric toddler housedress  look. My penchant for ballet flats and  disney jewelry can get a little silly quickly if I add too much festoonage- so I avoid matching bonnets no matter how much extra fabric I may have! No ma’am. I have standards.  make sure that all of my foolishness is age appropriate. Ahem… credits: meadhawg, pattern review. Sculpture is Aria by  Michael Jacobsen, 2007

Leopard Sew Along Love- Simplicity 1880

Ahhh, it’s so good to be back in the warm and cuddly embrace of my favorite fabric species! I have totally enjoyed Sunni’s 2-in-1  Sewalong and learned some nifty things.Secretly I have always feared shirtwaist dresses more than spiders! Yes, I dream about Donna Reed attacking Tokyo and taking on Mothra! Unspeakable, isn’t it? It’s the collar flange and the buttons holes lining up- oh, I’m starting to shake a little bit. But my fear is almost totally gone now, thank you Sunni– your  collar anatomy class and the facing trick made everything work so well, I may go up to Ma’s attic and look for my old Rubik’s cube. I think I can master it now! Here is the latest victim! I totally went for the yellow model- but a solid color? Oh, nay, that just isn’t going to happen. There are WAY too many faux animal prints out there to try such silliness!I always read thru my pattern instructions first, but changing the order of construction just never occurred to me. Sewing the skirt first and letting it hang just seems so obvious now! Whoa! Extreme frog closeup! Well, as you can see, I never found the magic buttons. We even went to the huge warehouse sale in Williamston last week and there was a herd of the oddest people blocking the bulk button bin. I almost unleashed Mr B- he can be very persuasive with his thunderous looks of displeasure and angry bull sighing. God bless him, he was hungry too- it could have turned into an incident, but no. I chose to use my powers for good.

Since this fabric has a lot going on-purr…  I decided to use concealed snaps and frog closures. Frogs and leopards. It’s like ‘Chutes and ladders’ but with more blood loss.I’m rather pleased with this- I don’t think the style will replace tunics on me- love me some tunics, but I feel like a major sewing hurdle has been crossed. It also is a serious adult work dress if called upon to go to meetin’. Ok, maybe Hilary Clinton wouldn’t wear a leopard shirt dress to meet dignitaries, but maybe she should…..

Thank you Sunni!!!

photo credits: pattern review, meadhawg, google images

Wearable Wednesday- Ulyana Sergeenko

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Dita von Teese staged a winter version of Classic fairy Tales in Boris Pasternak’s rumpus room? Oh, hey, me too! Well, Ulyana Sergeenko has given us the longest Wearable Wednesday to date- because I can’t get enough of this retro glam winter wear !  A nice sleigh ride outfit- bring an extra lap robe and your furry crash helmet! the evil Queen looks so toned! Is that a poisoned clove pomegranate? Brrr! I’d move to a colder climate for this cat-teaser hemmed coat. Royal Security really stands out in their new uniforms?! But are they practical- mittens and firearms are a no-no.  Now I’m totally not advocating everyone owning a forest animal medley frock, but…..Shh! Here comes the first dance number from ‘Kiss me Cossacks!’  Oh! Just popping out to grab the mail attended by my cartoon blue birds and chinchilla minions! I hate when my ceremonial honors get tangled up with my Lift tickets…

This looks so warm and absorbant…..Oh, I want, I want! The shapes of this collection are making me swoon as much as looking at it while its 900 degrees outside.

I’m just so pleased to see a model in a bra, but lining, please. This by the way is the skirt I will wear to help friends move- so handy of they run out of padding. Are you in touch with your melancholy snowbound damsel side? Do you love this or just feel like cranking on the air conditioning?

photo credits:

Vogue 8815- With a lil’ pep in our peplums!

Holy Priceless collection of Etruscan Snoods, Batman! I’m sewing the same thing as some of my favorite people!- Robin, Boy Wonder and cutting edge peplum enthusiast.

This is big for me- you know I tend to sew the least popular frock on the planet, but look, I’m sittin’ with the cool kids!  Check out Jennifer Hudson in these enviable cheetah panties and a peplum! I keep seeing this and just loving it. Vogue 8815- altho as envelopes go- this one is a little anemic…..hey, wait- my fabric is similiar to that underfed drawing!

But many have seen past the ‘meh’ cover and made some wonderfulness:

Erika made it with cars and rickrack!

Gabrielle made it with amazing stripes!

Erica B made it- damn, girl! I want those pants!!!

Oh, yah, and this one wore one too. But OURS WERE ALL FAR CUTER!!!But who made it gaudiest? Why it’s little  me of course! First prize in the gaudy stakes! Oh, thank you all! I do what I can! Onto the half-ass-supposed-to-have-been-done-over-the-holiday photo shoot! Anderson has been muggy and moist all week, so don’t blame the photographer for these droopy shots- he kept whining about the lens fogging up. Well, of course it did- I’m hot stuff! Look at that sassy bow and rhinestone buckle- tacky, thy name is Anne! This textile sacrifice is an embroidered cotton from the Hancock and I even did bias tape at the neck- why have I been so afraid of that?Behold- the General Robert Anderson fountain, our little hamlets patriarch.

**Just to prove I’m not animal discriminative- these are python print flats- I got them from Hie Shun! Hey  Hie Shun, you are indirectly responsible for todays tacky!!

photo credits: google images, pattern review, meadhawg,, Daily

Wearable Wednesday- Bouchra Jarrar

Ready for something normal? I mean really normal? Great, huh? Tailoring, femininity, nice drape….it’s almost too much for me. I feel bereft of snark. Come on, no origami crazy? No Bjorkish tones? No inspiration from urban decay? No comment on society? Ok, this is kind of ugly…

Phew! The cosmic order is restored. I can’t be pleased completely, it’s not natural!

photo credits:

Swell Sew along Progress

I’m having such a great time following along with Sunni and 400 of my closest friends as we tackle Simplicity 1880- or as I like to think of it: Duchess Kate in leopard! You know she wants to join us in the animal pen! You know she’s dying to get out of the beige trap and purr! I have evidence!Leopard print  Diane Von Furstenburg clutch!!! She is trying- lets give her a big hand! She isn’t ready for this tho: Look at that fabulous feline! So vicious, so stylin’! No, no- this one! Over here on Twiggy!

Look at that collar! I‘m so pleased with myself! I’ve learned so many neat little tricks and techniques so far and I haven’t even put my skirt on yet.  Oh, huh. Thats a sentence my mother would prefer that you didn’t take out of context, ok?

Now once I get Kate in my faux predator posse- Camilla: I’m coming for you!!

photo credits: Little me, Zimbio, Go Fug Yourself