Ah, awards night! Rich with tradition, formality and dignity.
The team from Price Waterhouse have arrived and it is time for the selection of the first Pattern Pyramid Pile winner. The air is thick with tension, nerves strain as our honored selector moves into position on the selection altar/coffee table. Bruderlein has been training for this for his entire life! His impartiality is second only to his love of fairness and equality…ok, whatever, he’s a dog.
Our team here at The Grievances have placed each name facedown on the selection altar/coffee table and it is being further masked by a small piece of purina senior cat diet indoor formula**.
On with the selection!
Oh, it’s a melee! The Price Waterhouse reps are storming the selection altar/coffee table! Please keep your seats as security works to control the situation.
Oh, the carnage! Not since the MTV video awards of 1998 has such barbarity ensued during a time-honored presentation. This crap NEVER happens at the Nobel awards?! It’s a dark day for humanity say I.
Alright, the names have now been entered into my saturday night chapeau and a new drawing will commence. We appreciate your patience and during this time we ask you to take a moment to reflect, so that when your grandchildren ask you where you were on the day of the…
FIRST PATTERN PYRAMID PILE DRAWING!!
you will be ready with fresh images and feelings about the…..Oh! Oh! We have a winner!!!
We request that Velosewer! please email me to begin the glorious mailing process and life of rich envy that our winner has entered into. Thank you everyone and as we leave the Dorothy Chandler Pavillion, please drive safely and remember to tip your waiter.
**Please note, no endorsements were accepted and no applicants are named Ralston or Purina or are themselves senior indoor cats, that we know of**
photo credits: meadhawg, google images
Pretty Grievances 
Oh my lucky stars! I love how you tried to get your dogs to pick the winner.
LikeLike
I really should have broken down and downloaded a random generator!
LikeLike
This way was better.
LikeLike
If you look closely, he really did pull the name, such a prodigy!
LikeLike
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love it! Congratulations to the winner, and kudos to you for making this a highly entertaining post. Melee indeed! I’ll be chuckling about this in the middle of the night!
LikeLike
I don’t know who was more patient, the husband or the pups!
LikeLike
Absolutely delightful! 🙂
LikeLike
Amusing as always!!. I was enjoying it without the pictures, but with……priceless. Thanks for the light hearted entry into my evening. This post and a glass of wine and my day is ready to really wind down.
You’ve got talent, baby
LikeLike
I have a tolerant husband!
LikeLike
Best awards show ever…not even Cher’s infamous get ups could top this! Thanks for the entertaining Sunday night fest. RHONJ was no competition 😉
LikeLike
I was using a script from the 1947 Oscars- it went down just like that!
LikeLike
OMG, how funny. At least no fights broke out. And look how shiny those suits are the Price Waterhouse gang is sporting. Tell me, does the cat have any thoughts on the drawing process? Congrats to the winner!
LikeLike
Cats were under the bed. They didn’t find this amusing one bit!
LikeLike
Wow. I’m floored. Thank you so much.
LikeLike
You are too funny! No, really, I have to go pee now!
LikeLike
My work here is done!
LikeLike
Your fun post is prize enough for me!
LikeLike
I have great respect for baby photographers now!
LikeLike
This was far too hilarious. Love your posts and I think this one was the best ever.
LikeLike
Oh, thank you! We did enjoy ourselves….
LikeLike
i L’d OL. i love your fur kids – they’re such good sports! i’m sure they’re usually much more dignified 😉
LikeLike
Hopefully Waterhouse will not see herself online, she is very protective of her image!
LikeLike
You are a riot! Great post!
LikeLike
Amazing post. You should sell tickets to next year’s festivities, or perhaps a pay per view special.
LikeLike
Next year I’ll choose a different accounting firm- I should have known they looked too interested!
LikeLike
Wow, what an event! I was crossing my fingers for a doxie Britney/Madonna moment, but alas, maybe next year!
LikeLike
I’d have to put out a lot more kibble for that!
LikeLike
Better than Oscars! And better dressed hosts.
LikeLike
Fresh from the groomers! Can Meryl Streep say that?
LikeLike
I’m impressed you were able to afford both Price and Waterhouse. I was only able to afford Waterhouse for my award ceremony while Price stayed at home.
LikeLike
Waterhouse was prices’s designated driver this weekend.
LikeLike
This whole Pattern Pyramid thing has gone to the dogs!! Just hilarious! Thanks for a very good long laugh!!
LikeLike
What a way to start the week! I left your blog open on my computer all day, and every time I passed it I had to chuckle. It doesn’t hurt that I’ve always wanted a wiener dog. Just hilarious.
LikeLike
Oh how sweet you are!
LikeLike
Your dogs are so cute – what a clever way to pick a winner.
LikeLike
I wasn’t entered and still I was spellbound! Very entertaining! I will call that my bedtime story and perhaps I will get a complete night of shut eye for a change!
LikeLike
Hahahaha, that was fantastic! Well-picked, Bruderlein! And by the way, I love the hat … 😉
LikeLike
Somehow I just knew that you would!
LikeLike
Bahahaha! Classic!!! I just love your posts, too funny. 😉
LikeLike
I was searching for the original post on your blog, for the Pattern Pyramid as it arrived at my humble abode yesterday and I’m doing the write up for it to post on my blog. And, lol I never saw this! It was BG (Before Catja). It’s fantastic! They could give Kitty a run for his money!! He’s nervous….but not too nervous as he’s a legend in his own mind. Oh, who are we kidding, he doesn’t care at all, he loves himself to much. And high self esteem is the cornerstone of a well adjusted life! Right??
LikeLike
An error occurred: That should say either BC (Before Catja) or BG (Before Gjeometry). Now, it’s just not funny, cuz I had to explain it…sigh.
LikeLike