This is going to depress me- this will be about not embracing my hips or lifestyle, I’m sure. Arrgh. No, thats too negative. Lets blame it on the media, bad patterns and global warming. Ah, thats better. I knew it couldn’t be my fault.
Gillian‘s 2nd Top 5 list is Top 5 Fails. Here we go: 
This one is the cruelest of fails- even Liesl can’t bear to look at me in it! Vogue 8728. Everytime someone posts their fabulous version, I trot this out and see 400 different reasons why this just isn’t suited to me- bad fabric? Maybe. Bad shape? I think so. I am a large hipped hunchback with no waist in this. Just not a shape to repeat. Gorgeous dachshund seersucka’ tho. Sigh. 
Ever hate something enough to hide behind a tank? Mccalls 6286 was a very nice make- I did everything right, except fabric selection. It is too heavy and hovers around me oddly at the shoulders. I constantly tug it down. I’ve considered drapery weights in the hem. It also requires SERIOUS ironing. Not so me.
Burda Style Handbook Blouse- I really enjoyed making this, but an elastic gathered waist on these little hips? Just not flattering. If I had made it just a hair longer, it might blouse better, but it removes all hints of a waistline . I will probably try one of the lovely variations in the book- because I love it from the bust up. Is there a better term for that? 
Burdastyle 7201- I don’t hate you, but you match absolutely nothing in my closet. I’d love to pair it with a sheath dress if I ever find a nice fabric to use. I take it out of the closet and sigh alot. Do you have those moments? I didn’t even get to keep the lego- Mr B demanded it back as soon as we finished filming.
Simplicity 3964….my husband hates it. Ok, he’s never said anything, but when it appears, his lip curls like Mr Ed working a gob of peanut butter. I could ignore it, but he is so tolerant of all of my foolishness that I give him a few subtle vetoes now and again. I have added an elastic piece in the back to take some fullness out of it and give it a little shape, but no- the lip stays curled.
So what have we learned? Fabric selection is important. Experimenting is good, but not if my closet becomes an unworn object museum. So for 2013, I will consider my lifestyle, my needs and the fabric I choose. Then I will blatantly disregard these things 60% of the time as usual. to dress my inner demanding gaudy Princess. 
photo credits: google images, meadhawg
And long may your demanding inner gaudy princess reign! Fab funny post as ever. A merry christmas to you, the lip curler and your many pups x k
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Aw you are too sweet- you must reign with me in my foolish kingdom!
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Chalk these up as learning experiences in fabric selection. And, if you like the style and fit of any of these, then I’d definitely go for it again! Especially the yellow McCall’s. It needs to be made again in a fabric that you’ll love wearing it in because it is so cute on you!
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I think in 2013, when i do such brilliant goofups, I will declare them spontaneous muslins!
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Smiles, Lemons and Laughter. It is the gawker that loves your props (fur babies) speaking up. You always give us smiles by showing us what you think are your lemons and the laughter you hear around the world, well that is your wit. These are keepers! Seriously, keep reading. And by no means am I a fashion stylist but I am learning to experiment with my failures. Item one…fill in the neckline, loose the belt, shorten the dress and throw a jacket or long sweater over it. Try it you might like it. Item 2, I like tanks, tankers used to be my friends, see too much of the tank to comment. But thank you for the shout out to our Veterans using that tank as a prop. Item 3, take out the elastic. Then either find a spectacular piece of fabric to color block, lengthen the area the fell above the elastic or leave it that length and either take some of the fullness that is below the elastic or turn it into a high low top and have a long tee shirt peeking out from the bottom. Item 4…take that gorgeous puppy to the fabric store (either the one in your house or the local brick and mortar). You will find something gorgeous, if not plan B send to me. Item 5. Perhaps try to tone down the brightness that surrounds your face with a sheer lace or maybe some organza. Plan B, buy a wig, big sunglasses, and a hat and act like a movie star and fawn over your honey, he may start to like that top. Plan C? Send to me. You are fabulous darling. Simply fabulous.
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I will have to try any and al of these suggestions- except, I must confess- the Burda blousey-blouse went to Goodwill…it was chastising me from it’s padded hanger!
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If we’re learning, we’re moving forward…right? At least that’s what I tell myself (especially after my latest disaster that will be posted shortly!). I agree with your resolve to pay closer attention to what your needs are and what fabric would be best…be sometimes a princess has to do what a princess has to do…always leave room for that 😉
PS…Turn that cute doxie seersucker into throw pillows with a fun trim!
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I may just need to ban myself from the quilty-cotton zone and stick with my floaty challis and sheer foolishness- or I’ll have more throw pilows than Genie’s bottle!
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Turn the Daschie seersucker into a skirt! That fabric is too amazing not to be worn to shreds! And PLEASE keep dressing the gaudy princes, some of your amazing wins came from instinctive sewing!
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Haha, I thought the same – turn it into a skirt!!! That fabric MUST be worn!!!
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I could crinoline up and be very hapy about it….good ideas!
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i’m learning the same lessons you are. again and again. but sometimes you have to ignore the urge to be practical and basic. there is so much room for whimsy in sewing!
ps – love the saddleback heels.
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The husband got me the saddle shoes- see? I have to give hima veto- he has very fun taste!
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wow – he enables a shoe habit! that’s rare. he’s a keeper.
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A Dr Marten enabler no less- I am blessed indeed!
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thanks for the candid analysis – entertaining for us even if a bit painful for you. You are so right about fabric choice and believe me, I still make some whopping bad mistakes but am usually not brave enough to post.
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I feel like I owe it to people my size to show what some patterns do on us-good or bad,the envelopes sure don’t help! I guess I’m a gaudy litle cautionary tale…heehee
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I like the style of the last one, the colour and fabric, not so much. I love you in yellows, greens, rusts and turquoise. Oh, and tomato red! And yes, do re-make the dachshund print; it’s adorable. You sew a lot and I sew vicariously with you, although one of my promises to myself is to actually sew more for myself next year. I’ve lost 35lb and want to celebrate it! Merry Christmas and thanks for the year-long smile fest.
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35! Thats amazing and wonderful- congrats to you on your hard work and thanks for your kind thoughts!
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You are so courageous. My failures go in the back of a loooonnnnngg closet. I don’t even want to see them in the trash.
But now I want to see all your successes. I remember that there were many!
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I have had a good year of making go-to pieces, I guess I just wish I went to balls and event more, but I am a jeans and fancy top gal- if it’s not good to wear to Disney, it’s not going to see much action!
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Hmmm not sure I agree with your assessments – you have absolutely nailed your colours – and you’re not afraid to be bold in both design and colour! If you love the fabric try to redesign – change the proportion – go for skimming tailoring rather than gathers etc… but mostly keep it up cos we want to keep reading !
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I need to get over my pencil skirt fear- I keep thinking full skirts are better on the hippage, but it might not be the best….
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Nah, don’t bother trying to match wardrobe gaps – that’s no fun at all! Keep making the crazy, bright fun things – they suit you, and they’re so much fun to see/read about! 🙂
(Although I, too, have had a few failures this year due to poor fabric selection. Oh well, live and learn, right? Gotta experiment with these things, or you never really learn….)
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Sewing to order is no fun- I like to sew where my goof-muse takes me. Making a skirt to match something is not very fun for me. Shallow sewing suits me best!
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I’ve decided we need to rethink the misses concept. Rather lets think of them as bridesmaids. You know those dresses which are chosen by the bride to make her look even better. So our ‘misses’ are simply created to make our hits appear like Smash Hits. It’s actually a stroke of genius on our part!
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Oh, thats perfect! The lesser blossoms accenting the giant gaudy roses! Oh, I like that!
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I like Simplicity 3964 on you. Shame your husband doesn’t like it. Lovely colours.
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It was my first pattern I altered the size on, so even unworn it is a victory!
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Laughed out loud again! You are so funny. It is good to see experienced sewists like yourself showcase their items that they don’t love – although I must say – I can’t see anything wrong with them. I guess you you have to wear it. I think a dashie skirt would be dashing.
Have a great Christmas.
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You are too kind! I dont think the view behind the tank was very flattering!!
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It’s funny how often things we don’t like aren’t based on lousy construction or crappy patterns, but just bad decisions! My least favorite stuff this year can probably all be chalked up to terrible ideas, like making a top in a stiff, un-drape-y material cause WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Blerg.
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I think we all went with the blerg collection a bit this year!!
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Note to self- get a tank to hide behind when sewing doesn’t rock. Can you rescue the sassy puppy fabric into something else?
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A tank makes the perfect gift!
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Inner gaudy demanding princesses unite against sensible wardrobe choices, mix and match,and basic tones. The new black is pink, orange,sky,jade.
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You’ve obviously seen our flag and mission statement!!
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Oh, I have one to hide behind a tank in! Just gotta find me a tank! 😀 That doggy print is so cute, why do we pick pretty fabrics that end up being disasterous makes? Fabulously funny post again, you never disappoint! 😀
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I’m pleased to say my wins outweigh my fails- and that some of my favs were over a year old! They survived me and laundering!!
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Oh no! I would HATE to think that writing this list made you feel bad about your figure – I just thought of this topic as a chance to wheel out the UFOs and terrible technical errors that I always seem to end up making! (Maybe that’s just me and my beginner sewing skills?) I have faith that you know you are totally awesome though. I’ll be writing my fail list tonight though, and we’ll see how I fell after it too! 😛
PS. Just skimmed through your post again, and got totally distracted by your fabulous saddleshoe heels! Those are hot!
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Learning to sew for my size is as important as good tailoring, the fails showed me what to avoid- its all good, as the cool kids say!
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Have you tried the Craftsy Plus-Size Fitting course? It’s probably on sale right now… I really enjoyed it! I blogged about it here: http://crafting-a-rainbow.tumblr.com/post/36780848261/craftsy-class-review-pattern-fitting-for-plus-sizes
I particularly liked the straight-talk about being larger – stuff like thigh-chaffeage that doesn’t get talked about much! I learned a lot about pattern manipulation, FBAs and the like. You might enjoy it too!
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Chub-rub! The scourge of summer skirts! I wlll have to check that out- sounds good!
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Vogue 8728 is nice, and it looks good in the pic, but some things can look nice, people can tell you it is, and you don’t feel it.
Sucks, cause it’s also cute fabric.
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Its true- just dampens any other opinions when you just dont feel good about something.
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I like frivolous sewing too (but not too frivolous I guess since I’ve yet to sew any ball gowns!). I try to do serious planning for my real wardrobe…and it takes me 6 months to finish the thing. But if it’s an ugly Heidi costume for a birthday party, that gets done in two days!
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Planning??? Arrgh! Thats the devils word! I guess I will never learn….
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On balance you have made so many wonderful flattering garments, what’s a few misses. We all have them! And we’ll all have more.
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its all a fun journey, right?
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I love that you are embracing the fails – I think I sometimes think I’m the only one with me-mades I put a lot of time and effort into and then never wear… it’s good to know I’m not alone 🙂
I do really like the lego pic – it looks really good on you and I think would be super with a sheath dress of maybe a complimentary print/colour combo? I also think it’s very sweet of you to allow the hubby a veto… our men are so accommodating, it really seems only fair! ^__^
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he tries so hard to be encouraging and phrase things nicely when i am in the fitting stage- he realy deserves a medal!
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Funny read, as always! Thanks for sharing.
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Ah, I think you’re being way too hard on yourself! Garments 4 and 5 look FABULOUS, IMHO. Have a happy new year of sewing! Zoe xxx
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I love the last top on you (the purple and pink one). Think it’s cute and very flattering. I, so far, have two failures that I can’t say I would ever wear and certainly not be photographed in. So, really all of these here on you, look better than those two. They are in the what not to wear category. But, as has already been stated, you learn from the failures and I now know what NOT to do next time. And Bravo to you for actually wearing what you feel ‘fell flat’. And the one where you are hiding behind the tank. I can’t see much, but from what I can see, it actually looks fabulous. Maybe just try to alter what isn’t working because it really seems to suit you.
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I love this! You really crack me up!
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Fantastic post 🙂 My favorite is the last paragraph. I have to disagree with Mr B on the last item – I really like this one. The only one of these 5 that I find to be less than your best work is the 3rd one, the rest look great to me. But sometimes we are our own harshest critics.
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#3 is my least favorite too! It just wasnt executed well!
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Funny how often our fails come back to fabric choice, mine have done too, or the pattern was rubbish. I do feel your pain as not everything works out for me either, still it is a learning experience right?
I actually really like #5 I say keep wearing it!!
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Hah! I broke out #5 last week- its too comfy to chuck! This year I will read the recommended fabric part!!
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I actually love the Simplicity 3964 on you. Maybe it’s the fabric, maybe it’s the photo, maybe it’s the palpable sass radiating from the image… Whatever it is, I love it, Mr B be damned. Sometimes ya just gotta wear it for you.
As for the Burda Style Handbook Blouse… oh, I feel you. As a rather large-hipped person myself, I’ve realized this trend toward garments with no definition or even TOO MUCH definition is just not good for me. This includes those ugly sack-like dresses and peplums. They just don’t work. Im big on top and big on bottom and I need some cinching in the middle!
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Women are just thinner in Burda country, arent they? The husband likes more fitted shapes, but hey- he cant win them all!
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Your inner demanding gaudy princess and willingness to disregard things 60% of the time is what makes your blog so fun, so I’m pleased you’re carrying on with that!
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