Wearable Wednesday Neil Barrett


Now we at the ‘Grievances have long puzzled over the feelings of these models together, haven’t we? This Resort 2014 collection features static pics of the designs and the ‘unwilling?’ models…….nb1

I just hate all of these. From their marine footwear to the bathing caps, I am at the fifth level of meh.

Pugsly, is that you? Did they send you to fat camp?

camp? nb2

Sigh…. No. Lower case…sigh. I cant give it more than that.

nb4

These pants might not even be on frontwards. If she doesnt care, why should we?

nb5

Ok, this is passable. But we’ve seen it on skinny legs before. Tho the corrugated pipe material is a new twist. She looks like an exhaust hose.

She must have forgotten to put her ‘Saint Alphonse of the Blurred Models Parochial School’ patch on her uniform. 2 Demerits!

nb6

Seriously, if you only look from the knee down, it’s like Roger Sterling about to runamuck with his secretary!

nb7

When blankets attack. Seriously, she looks like a very unattractive bell.

nb8

OK, so weigh in with me sewcialists-

a. The models check didn’t clear, so he can’t legally use their faces

b. The models couldn’t stop shaking with excitement at the thought of keeping all these wonderful outfits

c. The model witness protection agency has finally gotten funding

d. Please tell me in the comments what the deal is with this show!

Photo credits: Style. com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

77 thoughts on “Wearable Wednesday Neil Barrett

  1. I’m with you – I hate them all. But – how many levels of meh are we allowed to go to?
    And I am still laughing having checked the Roger Stirling reference by scrolling up a picture!
    Keep up the good work 🙂

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  2. mrsmole says:

    What looks like a thin female model under all those badly fitting clothes is really a man. He and his married girlfriend were having a little afternoon fun in the bedroom when they heard the husband approaching. He dashed into the closet and tried to find something, anything, to cover his nakedness before he jumped out the back window to safety. He managed to grab his shoes with the socks stuffed inside but the poor creature could only squeeze himself into some of her garments before fleeing.

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  3. I think these blurred people have walked straight off a Dr Who episode in a hide behind the sofa sort of way. Plus the patent brogues that were on my wish list have been deleted. I will forever associate them with a creepy boss I had as a Saturday girl in Woolworths 1987 … Thanks for making me laugh on a rainy Wednesday morning!

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  4. It was a dark and stormy night. Marcus, a student at the online Technical Institute of Garment Design University, took out his stash of plastic tablecloths from Party City and the copy of Drape Drape 24 that he had found behind a chair at Starbucks. Armed with only scissors and a stapler, Marcus created the resort collection of the future, clothing cache for black rain and radiation fallout. Casting aside all temerity, he donned makeup and a shower cap to model the collection himself. (Cleverly blurring his facial features to be unrecognizable to his avatar online professor). The shoes and socks were an oversight he hoped no one would notice…

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  5. The striped t-shirt with the shorts looks like a character from the Our Gang series. How anyone would think that this staging of models would sell clothes is beyond me. Got some bad advice somewhere.
    Love your commentary though 🙂 Always a bright spot on Wednesday mornings, thanks!

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  6. I wonder if the model didn’t wamt to be associated with those clothes? Or could the designer only afford one model but wanted it to look like more, hence the blurred face? Or maybe s/he had a limited shoe budget so only one pair of socks and shoes?
    Who are they designing this stuff for? I can’t think why any real person would wear these things if they look that awful on that poor girl. Or do they have the luxury of being whimsical and design things just to keep themselves amused. It seems like a massive waste of resources.

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  7. Not only do I really really hate these clothes, this designer makes me angry. There is only so much money to be invested in designers, and this incredibly poor excuse for a designer gets funding from someone, very likely leaving someone who actually has taste, style and could actually produce clothing that might flatter a female body without funding. Really. WTF. Does anyone actually buy this shit? Wait, that might be an insult to shit.

    However kudos to Mrs Mole and Coco for explanations on the possibility of how this pile of excrement was created. I believe Satan was involved somehow.

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  8. What the frack?! I don’t know… I just don’t know. I’m liking the Dr. Who theory. These are just horrible but the man shoes are almost distracting enough keep me from noticing how truly… HORRIBLE they are.

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  9. Oh MY, that is one fugly collection. Time to throw them all in the Tardis and send it off to some other dimension. I find the blurred faces totally creepy. Stella agrees. If there isn’t a ball or a dead stuffy in ones mouth what is the point of shaking your head. Stella has left the office….just as this collection should be jettisoned to someplace hot and gassy.

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  10. This isn’t design. These weren’t designed. Come on – black shorts, striped top, pleated (school uniform skirt) – all square and shapeless! I could design better! – Heck, my 9 year old grandson DOES design better – on Minecraft, where everything IS boxy and square.

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  11. mrsfrippery says:

    I’m with the Dr. Who theorists.
    e. She is a quantum model, simultaneously here and not, that’s why she’s blurring. DON’T BLINK!

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  12. Kathleen says:

    Where is this resort? Apparently the climate is hot, humid and raining since loose short clothing is needed. But the ground it rough and cover with calf-high grass which can cut up your legs. But, of course, you can’t wear tennis shoes……so this was the fashionable alternative? Woo-hoo! Book me for a trip…..if you hate me.

    As for the faces, I dunno- maybe they are willing themselves to melt like the witch in the wizard of oz?

    I love your comments as always. I actually thought the dress was somewhat cute until you said she looked like an exhaust hose then I couldn’t stop laughing.

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  13. I am just rolling laughing at this post. Gotta totally agree with you on all points. The last jacket isn’t bad, but not sure what the point is with this show. There is just nothing attractive about the way this was done.

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  14. I am continually amazed by what constitutes “fashion”. Where DO you dig up all this weird unhappiness? It would be an excellent research project for higher level of education.

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  15. Hahaha! Miss Trunchbull’s wardrobe has been raided in some kind of initiation ceremony! “Now, how do I prove I have been in there and tried on all her clothes and still stay anonymous?, mmmm…..”, “I know, set up the self timer on my camera and shake my face!” Genius! – Brilliant post, as always.

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  16. Pictures 1, 6 and 7 – the design makes the model look like she has very bad posture. #7 has some potential if you look just at the front, but why that cape affect at the back.
    I agree with Kathleen – where in the world would this be appropriate dress to wear on holiday?

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  17. OK, I seriously think Coco has nailed it! Designer run amuck in the night HAS to be the only reason anyone would a. show these clothes and be paid for it or b. style the models with that way.

    Recommend he haul himself back to fashion school with emphasis on the class, fit and style curriculum!

    Really horrid and SO unfashionable. Only one that comes remotely close to being wearable is the corrugated hose dress! Everything else…designer with tablecloths and a staple gun!

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  18. These are horrible! I’m thinking they are in witness protection. Also, are we sure these are women and not just really skinny men with shaved legs? I really thought they were men- except for the passable, corrugated pipe dress model.

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  19. Half of these garments (if they can truly be called that) look like they are on backwards! I personally think the models were ready to be teleported up (or down for that matter) and not quite all of their atoms made it to the final destination- hence the blurred faces. Those poor poor models. I am sure we should be sympathizing with them? Maybe? A little? -L

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  20. You know why they are dress so badly? They are criminals – each and every one of them! How do I know this? They have the same faces they show of people who are on the news and have broken the law. Don’t know if the same thing happens in the US – but this is the face of the crim in Oz.

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  21. Nothing much to add here…the first thing I thought of when I saw #2 is “We need to talk about Kevin”. Very, very scary…but I suppose that is why this crap is out there…shock value. Those shoes, those shoes…..

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  22. I'm in stitches says:

    Aww, bless, if it isn’t the children from The Village of the Damned all growed up and completed their fashion design correspondence course en masse. We should give them credit for attempting to be productive members of society – I mean, they even blurred their faces so that their death ray eyes won’t impel us to strangle ourselves with corrugated pipe dresses. Never mind that their collective hive mind couldn’t quite get out of the confines of 50’s school uniform and regulation black shoes, they tried their best. I think they’ll fit in marvellously in the fashion world…where would we be if the decided to become bankers or politicians and the like…?

    (…much better off, I suspect)

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