Wearable Wednesday Aquilano.Rimondi

The playboy bunny executive fast track was not how Jill pictured it.


Mmm- now we have gone 1 textile too far for me. But I’ll take the matching wing chairs, please.


One minute I like it, the next minute I hate it. It’s like my haircut from 8th grade.


Betty- where are my beanie babies?!


That collar- does it serve an orthopaedic function? I’m all about this fabric and the swing tunic- but the collar is baffling me and strangling her.


Well, it would make an excellent scratching post.


How can you look so soulless in  such a fabulous coat?


Yes, please. Even if her ruffly knee garters are goofy.


Well, who can complain about an outfit with pockets!


She looks like a pool table and Phyllis Diller mated…in a rock tumbler.


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners,

Houndstooth Anne wear & the Crane Fabric Winner!


I have a friend who likes a particular brand that shall remain nameless, but they are famous for what I think of as ‘old lady coordinates’. You know the ones? The pants slip on and are in muted plaids and have a matching blazer, a sweater vest, a long pleated Miss Marple skirt and a button down that features a matching embroidered collar. I worked in a ‘consignment shop’ long ago and these pieces filtered in and saddened many a geriatric shopper when we admitted that we did not have the rest of the grouping. Sigh…..soul crushing disappointment.
Where was I going with this? Oh, yes, I had a point. I’ve never been a really ‘collection’ buyer. Maybe I’ve spent too much time picking the clearance rack or maybe I just hate matching. Who knows, but now with my fabric usage plot-
‘NOW IS THE TIME! NOW IS THE DAY! CUT THAT CRAP OUT NOW!’ I can hear Scottie calling from the Sewing/Engine room: ‘We need more space, captain, I don’t think the closet will hold much longer!!!’
So rather than just randomly sewing pretties as I usually do,  I am trying to create pieces that work together. Ok, I’m sure all of you have been doing this with your sewing but I stumbled backward onto the idea.
‘Hey! When I turn this handle, water comes out! It’s the coolest thing!’ yup. Often I am late to discover things, but once on board, I always enjoy the ride. I just fear coordinates will make me look like I’m wearing a uniform. dasch

But, I present, the first, possibly the only……….Anne’s Houndstooth Hit Parade! (Insert fanfare, fling rose petals, generally make merry)

My timing was good- Sew Stylish made a whole article about ways to personalize the skirt pattern I used- including the fair Rhonda Buss- queen of tweedy splendidness! Also, as I’m sure you are aware- it is the hind-end of PINK APRIL!!!


I used 3 patterns to create this mess masterwork:
Simplicity 1467- the skirt
Simplicity 1592- the top
Simplicity 2455- the dress

3 patterns

The skirt is the same as Rhonda’s cover girl- well, plus a size or 3.


The top I have sewn before, but as  a quickie one off that didn’t even got a post- but I loved the neckline on it. I skipped the front seam and was experimenting with pleats and tucks and whatnot at the v. I wanted to just add a little detail so I did the yoke in the houndstooth and it gives off a tiny flight attendant look, perhaps, but over all i like it. See? I totally fear matching! Is that a thing? What do you call that? Ah- I have Conformaphobia!! ca2

Ok, the dress I didn’t change a bit- oh, wait- I did my usual zipper skipping and added 2 fish eye darts in the back. I’m hoping I’ll get more than a wear or 2 out of this before the South Carolina summer blisters me. No belt. It just wasn’t doing it for me.


By the way, I am actually wearing smoke pink tights- I can’t believe how well they blend! From now on I will say I am not pasty, I am smoke pink!


Gracious, do you know how happy these 3 pieces would make my Mother? Oh, how she longed to see me in adult clothing. I remember when I showed her the grey pinstripe wool and she looked at like I’d finally accepted a dare! I will be returning to these 3 patterns- I love the basic shapes and fit of them. You should go see that article- lots of goods ideas for variations!  That’s a lot of work for my tiny attention span! But by criminy, I used that fabric up- and I don’t think I look like the 2nd Mrs De Winter at all!


Oh, 1 more thing-


Nope, you are excluded- you are already a crane! With the help of my lovely assistant, the adorable Monica of Ripley, Ohio- who selected a random number of 1-28, we have a winner! Shelley hook me up with an address- you have some cranes coming to you!!!


photo credits: pattern review, meadhawg, google images, pinterest. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Mary Katrantzou

Hmm- the body suit effect is not selling me. She looks like an extremely modest diety.


But it does have pockets! Perhaps for extra patches!


The center panel features ancient teddy bear safety tip runes!


That Betheny- always hinting at how many scout masters she’d been with?!


Oh, look- she’s having a sale!


Do not look behind the curtain!!!!!


Its like a snake tried to shrink wrap itself to her…..i miss the digital prints!


Please tell me this is lined- or the model deserves hazard pay.


Nic Cage was able to find Jimmy Hoffa and a trove of Nazi gold while wearing this dress.


photo credits: Style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Blue Cranes of Doom…..x2

meetjohndoe2So I’m still sort of in mourning for my local Hancock fabric store. They opened a new store just across the parking lot (seriously) from the old one and promised me BIGGER, BETTER! and then  I arrive on opening day and they reveal the INCREDIBLE SHRINKING FABRIC SECTION!!! They had redesignated it a crafts store and the gaudy Anne area was squeezed into a quarter of it and it was not pretty. I think my Hancock fabric shopping has dropped to strictly pattern sales and emergency zipper events. I have found online sources for thread, notions, fabric and if I need my ‘MUST TOUCH TEXTILES’ fix, I have quarterly trips to Mary Jo’s in another state with the fabulous’ Cleasby sisters of quiltdom’ to keep me going.  Well, where was this going? Ah, come on- you know if you are reading this you just need to strap on a helmet and follow me down the rabbit hole, right?  Right!  So one day my pattern slave – I swear, Mr B can work those drawers like a…..ok, never mind, that sounds like it’s headed downhill- let’s just say he is really great at retrieving patterns from large cabinets. Well, once more, Vogues new patterns came out 2 weeks earlier and Hancock STILL hasn’t put out the new ones- so we are circling toward the register with our meager zipper and bias tape purchases. I am of course racing thru the poly jungle when  I hear a throat clearing behind me. I turn to see Mr B waving the gaudiest thing I have seen in quite some time at me like he is using drag queen semaphore to clear the beaches. It is a very, very unnatural fiber, but it is so amazingly WTF that it gets a 1st, 2nd and 3rd stroke from me. Then it goes to the cutting table where the staff gives me the ‘huh, what will she do with that’ face as usual. I swear, the poor dears are so used to only dealing with ‘no sew fleece fringe tie’ monsters now, they are numb- they have forgotten to ask how many yards, they just greet you with a sigh and a ‘how large is the sofa that your fleece Nascar throw will be draped over?’ I feel for you ladies, I really do.

This fabric is very interesting- it’s a panel, with borders on each selvage that do not act as panels- they just sandwich the panels. So odd. I have no idea what the designer had in mind, but I needed a pattern that wouldn’t show all the breaks in the pattern. So I chose these victims:


The top shows so many variations for print placement, I’ve been saving it for just such an occasion. So did I pair it with the Burda skirt? Um, no. That would have made sense. I as you know prefer to create bodice orphans that match nothing but a pair of jeans?! So entereth Simplicity 1462! IMG_6173

Yes, those are my glasses and no, Mr B does not like them!  I’ve been looking for a pattern that will let me play with color blocking and this totally fits the bill and even makes me feel kind of thin-ish!


snakey 1

I had top call for a consult on the Burda instructions. I brought in the trusty husband and explained what I thought it wanted me to do. He squinted and huffed at the envelope and the instructions and concurred that regardless of what I was reading- oh Burda, we are like Mars and Venus, you and I- the end would look like the envelope. Cheers ensued as  I released him from the sewing room. Back to watching Tottenham.


I wasn’t sold on the desisns ties at the waist- you know my ‘ties are for little girls’ issue, so I have this belted- it stays bloused without it, but I liked the look of it. This belt is not my favorite choice, but I haven’t found the perfect one yet.  I also realized during fitting that the zipper was a superfluous event. It goes on just fine without it. These pictures were taken at our Farmers Market- it’s really too lovely to buy parsnips at, isn’t it? See the dandy faux wrap? I love a faux wrap! No worries, no maintenance! If I do this again I will shorten the waist a bit- its overly blousy! Also, I can hear my Mother telling me to stand up straight- that would fix my hem I hope!

crane 3

My new thing is to use up every bit of a fabric at once. I used to put the excess back in the closet, saving it for another make- I realized that I was avoiding parts of the closet to not look at already molested textiles. I was in an ex-boyfriend mode with fabric. Oh, we’ve already had our time together, now I’d prefer to move on and seeing you just reminds me that I’ve already been there, done that. So now, while a fabric and I are still in honeymoon mode, I will cut out everything possible and maintain our fascination with each other as long as possible.  Hence, the dress and top in blue cranes of doom.


But wait- I still have about a yard of this 60 inch charmer left! What to do, what to do? Would YOU  like it? Do you dare to brave the poly for this interesting print? Do you ever go against your better judgement to play with something pretty?   I believe that this may get me into a record book for hosting a fabric giveaway that NO ONE ENTERS!!! Feel the gaudy…… IMG_6203

But seriously, if any of you Gaudy Scouts want my left over yardage because the call to play with ‘blue cranes of doom panel poly’ is too much for you to sleep at night, I am here for you! Leave a comment about what you would do with it (and just hoarding is accepted, of course) how pretty I look, or how much you are disappointed by  your local fabric source and you can be the one with the gaudiest mail box filler ever!!!!








photo credits: pattern review, google images, meadhawg. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Ellery

I’m intrigued- can we see it when it’s finished?


Wanda was stylish, but helpless at buffets.


Now she is a pro- no matter what is attacking her feet, she remains stoic!


Alice never knew when she was at one trend too many…..


Angry penguin model is eyeballing you-




Hillary Swank at the junior prom:





Photo credits: Style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.




Lucky, Lucky, Lucky- Simplicity 1665

lucky 1

Several months ago at Mary Jo’s Cloth in Gastonia, I found a wonderful linen-look  fabric in the anime quilt fabric section. Yes, the anime quilting section. Don’t act like you don’t shop it.  I crooned to it and it followed me home. This may be my favorite dress of the summer and its only April! I’m becoming sheath obsessed. Many contrasting fabric ideas circled my pointed head, but you know- this fabric needs no enhancement. So a small red bias tape trim separated 2 seams and hopefully drew the eyes upward- I’ve been told recently by a very smart lady that this is a good thing! The pattern:




I first saw this pattern back in May of 2013 in a very frisky snakey pants suit on My Art Attack now she is back conveniently on Pattern Review with another this week- go see that, but OHH and AHH over me first of course. Sadly, some cats were decapitated during this make- I am most sorrowful. IMG_6247

Ok, I skipped the zip- are you shocked? You know if I can wiggle in it, I will forgo a  zipper. Even if I have to grease these pork chops to do it!  I got mixed reactions at work. I think my office mates are now to jaded by my foolishness to even blink at  a lucky cat sheath dress on a tuesday. Some really liked it and told me- some avoided my gaze. Well, poo poo platter on them! I love it!!!!


Now If I were the fair Gjeometry, I’d give you a very interesting history of the Lucky Cat and we would all be edified. But I’m immature. I look at them and think they are either signalling the waiter or trying to teach a small child to high-five! What’s your feeling on all things Lucky and such?


photo credits: pattern review, Pinterest, meadhawg. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Mccall 6794- A decorative Windsock for the summer!

When I was little I loved the idea of a big ass bow sash on my clothing. I think I had a Tasha Tudor fixation. Be careful to enunciate when you wish for things. The fairies gave me just the first part- a big ass. I’m not so sure it needs attention drawn to it in the form of streamers. So I really loved this blouse pattern at first, until I realized that the back wasn’t charmingly fitted as the front- it was gathered apron style in the back. Holy Holly Hobby, Batman- that is not so flattering on a big girl! I swear I had this doll!


Also, I have not had to worry about keeping my sashings out of the potty in a long, long time and I don’t miss the supervision of my rear accessories?!6794

So if you’d told me that I would be sewing this pattern, I would have assumed those malicious fairies were back- late at night, whispering into my sleeping ear:

‘By morning you will crave the look of a kimono sleeved toddler mullet apron!!! ‘

Fairies noisily scanning a crumpled memo from the home office- ‘Oh, and you want to buy the entire first season of Devious Maids on dvd! ‘

See! None of my bad decisions are my own- I am just a victim here. A victim in pink challis!pink1

Now I don’t hate this, it is comfortable and good for work, I like the sweepy skirt tail, too, truth be told. I’m not totally believing that this shape is great for me, but I think this little number will get a lot of wear.

Regrets? I wish it I’d cut it in the tunic length- I could see this very casually with leggings, visiting my favorite mouse. It was quite windy- does wind catching your blouse count as an action shot?


Ok, I have grit in my eye and I’m having to hold my blouse down to keep from gut-flashing the kids on the swings- time to go home!


So I can count April 2014 as the month I gave in to the mullet hem- have you broken any personal vows lately?



Photo credits: Meadhawg, Pattern review. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Francesco Scognamiglio

Um….ok. Is that a gorilla in a latex dickey? Crap. Here come the unseemly google searches?!


I can’t even imagine what this would do to the hips of mere mortals-


Forgive her- she was up all night serving glowtinis at a Genie themed rave.


Ok- me likey! Perhaps with something under it.


It was just a clerical error, but she flaunted her 1 night in jail stories to gain more street cred at Mommy and Me events.


Bonnie couldn’t help wondering if she had spilled her wine- everyone seemed to be staring.


What? You said business casual!


Photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.