‘Good morning Professor! I’m so glad you let me come along this morning!’
‘That’s grand Penny. I myself am bursting with excitement over your potential sighting of this rare and glorious creature! Did you bring everything I asked for?’
‘Oh yes, sir! It’s all in my junior explorers pack. Altho some of it confused me.’
‘oh Penny, sweet, foolish Penny- didn’t you do your homework? The red bellied cheetah beast is a rare and glorious thing- she must be trapped with particular items!’
‘Professor, I did my research! I know it’s genus is Vogue 8972, it comes in many shapes and it is sadly extinct.’
‘Oh, Penny! The light is setting in, we must hurry! Our quarry rises early-‘
‘I know- the book says ‘It rises early to sneak food before it’s mate begins it’s day.’ That’s weird….’
‘Alright Penny- lets bait our trap. What did you bring?’
‘I brought everything the book said: a pop culture look at the jazz era, some candy and a Betsey Johnson clutch bag. What are we going to do?’
‘Very easy Penny. First we set up a basic box trap lightly slathered with cream cheese icing and use our calls to get it to the area unaware of the trap.’
‘Ok, but whats the Colin Firth dvd for?’
‘If the call whistle doesn’t work, we try a recording of Colin Firth doing the proposal speech from Pride and Prejudice- Penny- are you sure you read the manual? Alright, the rope is ready, sticking out just in sight of the tree line where I see the signs of her’
“What signs, Professor? Bent leaves? Depressed moss?’
‘No, Penny- those kitkat wrappers, Vanity Fair magazines and the spent Keureg cups.’
‘Oh, of course. I’ll start using the lure call. ANNA SUI! ANNA SUI! ANNA SUI!‘
“No, Penny- that’s the long range call- use the close proximity lure!’
“ok……PATTERNSALEPATTERNSALEPATTERNSALE!’
‘Do you see anything? I think I see a flash of red! Gees- she’s bigger than I imagined!’
‘Big-boned Penny- as a proud red-bellied cheetah would be! Look at her plummage! She is a thing of dreams, Penny and we saw her here. I swell with pride.’
‘Oh, Professor, I think think she sees us, she’s not getting any closer.’
‘Alright Penny, we’ve come to far to give up- I can see her top stitching and well-pressed facings from here! Bring out the Colin Firth dvd- she can’t resist that!’
‘Ok, Professor, but I really prefer The Kings Speech- Oh,oh! I see her! ‘
‘Wow Professor! Vogue 8972 has 5 skirt panels! She’s breathtaking!’
‘Yes, Penny- and extinct- I mean discontinued….She’s going for the trap!!!’
‘Professor! Look she’s preening!’
“Yes, Penny- the red-bellied cheetah Vogue 8972 is a proud beastie!’
“Professor- must we take her with us? She seems so happy here….’
‘You’re right Penny- she belongs here, with her friends and her wild pack of short-legged fur beasts. I can’t take her back to the observatory, much as I’d like to. I wonder if anyone will believe we actually saw her…..Come on, Penny. I’ll buy you a slushie’
photo credits: wiki, google images, Pattern Review, meadhawg. All images remain the property of their original owners.