It was a dark, moody night, I’d been chasing dead leads like a dog with a broken tail chases a rubber shoe down a blind alley full of tears and cynical calicoes.
She stood there in the gloom- her eyes told stories- stories of mystery- broken needles and empty spools. Stories that drive a man mad. I would have followed her anywhere- all the way to the remnant bin and back. She had that kind of power.
My eyes scanned the faux wrap bodice of her crinkle chiffon blouse. I could tell she had used a self- bias tape on the neckline- she was obviously far too clever for me, but I kept looking. She turned and gave me a look at the raw silk obi wrap that gripped her rib cage like a fat man clings to a full rack of baby back ribs that he spent his last sawbuck on. I liked it and it liked her.
Her shoulders moved sinuously beneath the heavily darted kimono sleeves- daring me to ask about her facings. I knew, sure as I knew that God made little green apples and a sinner loves an unguarded collection plate that beneath that exterior, she had French seams.
As the smoke cleared and a lonely train grew near, she turned and in a breathy whisper- a whisper that told of late nights working the graveyard shift and trying to wring tips out of too many tables of travelling salesman with nothing but Blue Plate specials and Poughkeepsie on their minds.
‘Burda, Burda –7126′
‘Wait’, my heart cried out like a baby cried for a kewpie doll at a cheesy carnival – what did it mean? Don’t strand me, Angel Face- tell me the story!’
The trains lonely whistle shrieked like a poodle with its belly fur pinched tight in an argyle sweater- she turned once more and gently gnawed on her lower lip, while I gnawed on my past.
Finally she spilled- like a snot-nosed punk kid with an overfull glass of moo juice reaching for the last of the flapjacks.
‘The story never changes, Baby- I omitted the collar and the side zip, left the sleeves to hang like broken wings- the rest is by the book, Baby.’
I never saw her again, but I’ll never forget that night as long as the cruel Gods of Fate and J Ed Hoover let me keep riding this God-forsaken kiddy car of a planet.
What did it all mean? I’ll never know, but whatever, it was Buffalo and I needed an egg cream.
Psst- color pics on Pattern Review.
Photo credits: meadhawg. All images remain the property of their original owners.
Love this top and especially the photos. Such a cool vibe!
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thanks- I’m still on the fence, but warming slightly!
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I have tears in my eyes….I don’t know why you are wasting your time working in a hospital when your true calling is writing…and writing about sewing. Sultry, sexy…siren-like…you have it all going on in that top!
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that Veronica Lake movie run on TCM was on while I was making this- can you tell?
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Yes, words and phrases from a by-gone era…intrigue and intrusion and drama…where did all that go?
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I’m not sure men still have interior monologues!
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How noir of you…. lovely
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Yay! My homage to the work of Chandler, Hammett and the like came thru!
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mwahhh, your Noir is perfect xx I can’t wait to view the next release
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Maybe when I need a trench coat!
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I loved it all – the intrigue, the moody pictures, and the changes you made to this pattern! I may not have started breathing again until the part about getting egg creams.
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The other PR review showed the same under the arm excess, but she looked adorable!
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She is adorable, but I think the bodice on yours fits way better and you have Stevie Nicks sleeves!
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They inspire much swinging!
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Hilarious. Where’s Sam Spade when I need him. Keep ’em coming😝
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Maybe he’s in Poodle Springs for the weekend!
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You’re one tough broad, lady! This is the brest review ever and what a frock!
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The wrap and sleeves kept making me think Bacall, Bacall!
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Ahh – took me back to my very first Philip Marlowe novel all those years ago… those were the days. Loved the post and the top. Very cool pics. Great fabric and love the green accents.
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Thats a fav genre for me! So earthy and descriptive. Hope I didnt piss off Dashiell!!
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Noir November? Detective December? Don’t let this be the last post from your super sleuth!
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Ooh- good thought! All those 40’s releases!
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Squee, 1940s dames and detectives!
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So many shoulder pads!
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Genius. The tunic’s not bad either!
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I wait with bated breath for the next nail biting instalment. Love the tunic top.
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Should there be further adventures of Boxy LeSmut???
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Yes!
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Well, if Beyonce can have an alter ego, so can a chubby sewist!
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Yes please:)
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Bravo! Encore! More more more!
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My photohubs had many other spots pickedout for this theme!
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Your photoshoot is great! I love the location, and your fabric is gorgeous.
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My photohubs is the king of urban decay- he really uses the garments texture to find a location
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I’m going to pattern review to check out the color pics, but that fabric looks divine.
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It was so strong on its own, i hated to make too many seams to break it up
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Clever post and photo shoot, elegant top. Love it!
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I think I read that first sentence three times just because it was so amusing! I laughed out loud the whole way through (much to the annoyance of my husband, I might add).
Love the photos! What a fun top!
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That sentence drove ‘word ‘ crazy! You’d think it would be used to my run on sentencsby now!!
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Great read.. and it’s a great top.. Oh and the photos- so dark and mysterious!
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Thanks Laurie!
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Hahahahaha! Brilliant! You look fab!
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Aw shucks!
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Brilliant post, I particularly like the photo with the hook, I suspect there is a snitch off shot, tied to a chair getting slapped at your bidding!, and all whilst you are looking sultry and alluring. A femme fatal of a top, lovely job.
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That abandoned building worries me! I got the same visual!!
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Crikey, you’ve outdone yourself on this post. Hats off to you, ma’am, loved reading this. Self-made bias, kimono sleeves, raw silk, so much cool in this garment. Now I’m going over to PR to see your colour pics.
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Such basics didnt really set the world on fire- it needed atmosphere!
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Woo Hoo!! And more woo hoo. More urban decay and silk, please!
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That building was quite decayed! So much glass and tetanus potential!
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She scrolled down with baited breath, hardly daring to read more….
The most exciting blog post ever! Made my night x
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Aw, I was a little worried it would get me into the ‘i stopped reading her when she got bizarre’ club
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Brilliant.
And since I’m not brilliant (very not brilliant at the moment) I need help finding the color pics on Pattern Review. Do I have to be a member?
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Im having linky issues- I will keep playing with it!
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I’m waiting for the announcement about your first published book.
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Oh what a remainder table that wouldmake!
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Gorgeous! Both story and blouse!
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Thank you!!
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OMG!!!! I so want to be you right now. Loved the noir blog post along with the photos. I’d follow you to the remnant bin and back. 😉
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I just knew you’d enjoy this!!
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O.M.G. I.am.in.awe.of.you.
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No, no- that isnt my house- I dont have such cool hooks and broken glass!
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Total classic movie moment!! Where is Bogart in your pics?? (Ooooh, you coulda dressed up dog in a trench coat and shades…) The top looks so expensive and silk-like in the b&w pics. I like it! Will have to go see the colour version now.
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Bruder in a fedora! Oh, we have a follow up post!!
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Only the best sewing blog post ever. Could almost see the fog clearing and the credits rolling….
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Aw thank you- I love my noir reading and that weekend I watched lots of it in the sewingroom- it got into the seams!
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Brilliant post, Anne. I hope you keep putting lots of noir into your future seams!
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Thank you- it was alot of fun!
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EPIC.
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Boxy Le Smut- chubby woman of intrigue
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I think you need to book yourself into some nightclubs (or sewing guilds) to let more and more people laugh and be light-hearted about things. Get an agent. You are terrific!
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Oh mercy- you have made my foolish day!
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Oh man! I can’t decide which I like better–hilarious Anne or her darker side…why must you torture me so?!
Seriously, this post was awesome, you should be a writer! The pics were pretty awesome too, and I like this blouse a lot, but the voice…it gets me every time. 🙂
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I’m so glad everyone has gotten my joke- I worried you’d all be convinced Id lost it!
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And yet, and yet, do the stripes tell their own story? Hang loose sleeves, those Frenchie seams have it covered.
Fun review and lovely top!
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Her stripes spoke of desperation and toul!
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That’s it! I’m hoping a plane just to meet you! Your writing is genius! Love it and oh yeah, the top too!
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We can hang out in abandoned buildings together!!!
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This post makes my life complete, and your top turned out great!
In an effort to make your life a bit more complete, I thought you would enjoy this totally unrelated dachshund-filled video: http://hellogiggles.com/dachshund-parody-dawsons-creek
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Oh Pacey!!!!
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My kids came to see what all the laughing was as I read this post. You are one very clever broad. Oh and love the top – the colours are gorgeous as is the model. Pink!
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Your kids are probably shaking their heads!
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Yeah, they were. And wanted detailed explanations!
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Love, love, love you. Keep writing!
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Your posts are always the best. Always! The top is funky too, you’re very elegant and, yes, noir in it.
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