As usual when I put out my gaudy Bat Signal in the sky above the sewists Bordello, I get great suggestions for help. My Simplicity 1277 has had its sleeves removed and a bias edging added. I also tapered in the princess seams to remove the armscye gap. Now I’m a lot more satisfied with it. So if my flanks can handle the uber-toasty flannel, this will be a between seasons frock. I thank everyone who stared intently at my armscyes and brought forth excellent help!
To get my mojo back to flowing, I visited an old favorite- Lisette 1878- the Diplomat dress. I love this shift shape and I’m always thinking I need to try a contrast fabric, but it’s just so comfy and pleasing on its own, I save it for fabrics that I want to fly solo! I know form pics are not as much fun as real wear shots, but I have a reason.
Check out my cleavage owls!! ‘Hey, eyes up here, buddy!’
I like this Peter Pan forest camouflage from Fabricmart. Does anyone else find top stitching to be restful? I get in my little zone and pretty soon I’m walking toward Pemberly in an animal print pelisse and bonnet…..yes, Mr Darcy, you do need to dive into the lake…… 2 billion BBC viewers can’t be wrong!
Whoa, ok lets move on and look at my new project. Did you notice Ms Holloway looking a little different? Over the last few years, Ms Holloway has suffered several falls. If you’ve never seen a 4 dachshund run for the roses thru a house, let me just say it’s exhilarating and destructive. No surface is left unclimbed or raced thru during a spontaneous dog sprint. The last time my mannequin got in the way, her neck plate broke and now her shoulders do not stay in their positions properly. I’ve been stuffing foam pieces into her shell to hold her stable. Not the best permanent solution. I debated a new form, but I was reading The Curving Sewing Collectives post on forms and the Fabulous Fit system looked really interesting. So off to Amazon I went and it arrived Tuesday. I paid extra for the lumpy Plus version that comes with 14 pounds of instant oatmeal to smear on the butt portions for added realism. You know how I like my realism!
I spent several evenings perusing the instructions and online to prepare for this event. I didn’t find the printed instructions nearly as helpful as all the reviews online. This highlighted part of the instructions is my favorite- how did they know I like to stick pins directly into my real person?
Now today with the help of TCM, Bruderlein and I shall attempt to build a mannequin so close to my dainty bunches that Mr B will ooze with guilt for how attracted he is to it! Speaking of Mr B, he is unavailable this weekend to assist me, so I’m in for more help than usual- of the 4 paw’d kind. The kind that really help you sort your foam pads into edible piles under the sofa.
Now, I have gathered my supplies, started cooking the oatmeal- I added raisins to simulate my butt accurately; and selected the Bette Davis movie that will accompany this fiasco. Time to go!
1.One more view of some of the many links to youtube videos to help- this link is to Penelope! Now I can avoid it no longer- it’s time to start measuring my chassy.
2. After hanging blackout drapes, turning off the phone, checking the entire house for surveillance equipment and blindfolding my judgemental cat, I have stripped down to my Wonder Woman underoos, and am poised in front of the mirror with my tape measure.
3. Basic measurements, hip, low hip, waist, high bust- alright, I can do this, I’m only tearing up a little bit.
4. I’m a good person. My size is not a reflection of my worth. I am a good person. God loves me and my Mother thought I was the smartest and the prettiest. Breathe in, breath out.
5. The rest of the measurements are to help you get the most accurate and personalized form possible. They are very technical and I shall try to be as meticulous as- CRAP!!!! HELMUTT GET YOUR ROTTEN SELF OUT OF THAT BOX!!! DROP IT! DROP IT!! DROP IT!!! BAD BOY! BRING IT BACK!
6. Ok, I’ve retrieved all the foam bits from the yard (I threw on a robe) and under the sofa and from his crate, I am ready to get back to the measuring.
7. Holding measuring tape end at tip of right collarbone and bring across to vernal apex of left shoulder blade. Record distance divided by measurement of both bust points. Um. Ok. Let me look at the pictures again. I can’t reach my apex. Ok, Bruder will hold the tape in his mouth and stay perfectly still while I circle him and drape the tape measure around myself, not twisting it. Whoa. I think I got it. Phew, I have a charley horse now.
Better sit down and watch the movie for a bit.
8. Must have dozed off- Liesl drank my chai tea and I missed the movie. Damn. I’ll go get more tea and check out the leftovers from last evening……OOH corned beef and cabbage!
9. Now, let’s just whip thru the rest of these measurements- I can skip the thigh business, and the upper arms, ok! Let’s get to the padding of the form.Mutty, you can keep that pad, but I need the rest! I’m serious!
10. I have covered Ms Holloway with the sleeveless cover and it’s a lovely white stretchy material- durable and thick. I’m going to pin my lovely lady lumps directly to this cover, then slide the other over top of it when I’m done.
11. Now, I’m going to place my pads in each location based on my scientific findings and use the tips to make sure they suit me. I have forward sloping shoulders like a Bronte character, so I’ll pivot the shoulder pads forward and down.
12. I have a high waist and fuller hips and a slight swayback. Gees Louise, I’m a monster! I should be living in a belltower scaring the local children! I should ring a bell to alert unsuspecting mothers that I am walking amongst them- lest I curdle their offspring in the womb! Arrgh- this is too much. I’m going to build a pillow fort for Bruder and I and think about this for a while….with an éclair.
13. Now, I’m all cried out and ready to put the cover over her, easily securing the new dimensions. Ok, I gently roll the top cover down over my padding. This honestly requires at least 4 hands. It’s like trying to put pantyhose on a greased squid that is having a stroke. I’m glad I pinned the pads down, tho at one point I yanked one side too quickly and my left butt cheek flew across the room. Don’t think that happens every day. So go slowly on this part- don’t permanently harm your squid.
Alright, I am clear headed now, I knew this would be difficult, but it is worth the effort, Ms Holloway looks lovely and I am quite pleased with the results.
I present you with a musical tribute to my day:
Um, in case you are wondering- no one paid me to endorse the Fabulous Fit system- I’m sure if a company read one of my reviews, they’d reconsider any thought they might have had about my spokesperson-ability! I’m mean really, they’d definitely get what they paid for!
Photo credits: fabulous fit, google images, little me, pattern review, youtube. All images remain the property of their original owners.
Pretty Grievances 
I’m glad I wasn’t drinking when I read this or I would have probably needed medical assistance! I’m sure your new model will be enormously helpful and you will eventually recover all the stolen pads from the pups.😉
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its kind of sobering seeing all your lumps set out like this- but I know its for the best. The hips don’t lie….
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Oh Anne, we simply cannot live without your posts! Pups and flying pads and just a little taste of real life in your sewing realm. Love the cleavage owls and the fabric and shape. Nothing beats a well fitting A-line dress! Save me an eclair!
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You are welcome anytime in my pillow fort if the brides go postal!!!
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Enjoyed the post as usual!!!!
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Thank you, it was worth the suffering!
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On you can turn filling in a dress form into entertainment 🙂
BTW, you need to send the tunic/dress to me. I LOVE that fabric!!
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Still waiting for FF to make me the corporate spokesperson!!
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Oh my! I almost spit out my tea several times reading this. You write with such great humor I love it.
Those owl buttons are divine!!
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The husband found those owls and I was very eye-rolly over them- thinking Id never use owls on my urban sophisticate ensembles!!!!
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Thanks for sharing your adventure! I don’t think I’d have the fortitude to do all of the measuring, let alone create a foam version of myself.
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It was daunting, but definitely worth it!
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‘A greased squid having a stroke’ –> hilarious!!!! And thanks for the review. I considered the FF system in the past, but this is more helpful than the reviews I found on Amazon.
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That youtube video really helped me- more so than the brands own!
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Baahahaa, that had me in stitches. Your writing is so humorous! ☺
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Thank you, I did have fun!
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Your posts are so encouraging to me. Thank you for sewing and showing and sharing and mostly for being your wonderful real self. By the by, you are beautiful and curvy and we all have bodies that are uniquely ours
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Oh, you’ve made me tear up- you are so kind- thank you!
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Greased squid having a stroke – that’s be similar to getting sheer elastane plus pantie hose on in a hurry after a bath then? Good job Helmutt was on hand to offer encouragement.
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He knew I didnt need all that padding! Such a good supporter!
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That was hilarious! Judgemental cats, helpful pooches and hooters guarding your hooters!
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What can I say? i love to nurture!
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🙂 🙂 🙂 Great post!
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Thank you!!
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Great fabric and I love those little owls! My dressform is way more perky and has 1/50 of the booty that I do so Fabulous Fit could be an option for me. I’m not sure though that I’d have the fortitude you showed in putting it all together. I don’t often have time to comment lately, but your posts always make my day!
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Get some wine, a therapist on standby and its really easy!!!
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You can pin straight into it. It’s like a real person! Ha ha ha. The first time I sewed for someone else, I tried that. No one has ever asked again.
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I will keep that in mind- an excellent idea!
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Bwah ha ha! This is golden. Fab frock, hilarious fitting escapades and cheeky dogs. I come for the frocks and stay for the humour 😀
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I dont want to do it again, but it was worth it!!
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Hahahahaha!! Love those little “helpers”. 🙂
It’s hard to take those measurements, but SO worth it. And I highly doubt Mr. B is going to change his mind over them either. So did you notice a lack of boob pads? Because that was my one complaint about the system was there wasn’t enough “fluff” to add to my not-even-that-ample bosom.
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I did start to wonder if I was using the wrong pads and had my bewbs where my butt goes!?
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OMG. This must go into the Funniest Blog Posts Hall of Fame. You almost had me inspired to wrap myself in duct tape & create my own dressform… then I wondered how to type about the process when mummified in tape???
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Banjo cant type??
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He has assigned himself lounge duties – and just watches with detached nonchalance….
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Ah, quiet support!
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I fear there may be judgement…
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yes, your post was worth waiting for 😉 x – ohh Helmutt,… Bruder.., Leisel…. personally I’m glad you blindfolded the judgmental cat – can’t trust those felines…
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Katze stayed inbed all day- mourning a weekend without Daddy at home!!
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I… I am trying to picture… Where do the pantyhose go and how do you do CPR on a squid?
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Its very technical! Not for the faint of heart!!
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LOL – I had the same confronting experience (sans dogs) when I kitted out Babs with the fabulous fit system – I also had to add TWO BAGS of wadding as well!!!!!! Sigh..
LOVE that dress. Absolutely gorgeous. And the owl buttons are a hoot! That fabric is stunning.
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I had foam and wadding ready- I wasnt sure what I would end up with- it looked like an upholstry shop in here!
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HAA HAA HAAA! You should know that I’ve repeatedly confused the boy by laughing uproariously at this post. Feel free to join me in my bell tower built after figuring out all my upper body fit issues. But avert your gaze because I’m a monster. 🙂
P.S. Butt padding for the win.
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Admit it- you bookmarked Alanis, didnt you!?
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LOL – what a wonderful post, I so enjoyed spending time with you and the pups and Betty Davis as you built Ms. Holloway!
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You are always welcome!!!
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Whoa! This is a wild and crazy system! Thanks for sharing… I’m laughing like an idiot over here!
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It really does work- Im just uncoordinated!!
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This was HILARIOUS! I was laughing so hard my kids wanted to know – so I read out selected bits to them (…squid having a stroke….GENIUS!) and we all laughed together. Thank you!!!
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Im go glad that you enjoyed it!
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Great post! Love your dress fabric and the owls! I once knew a lady who dislocated her thumb trying to pull up her Spanx (“slimming intimates” according to the web site, if any of you are curious) We women have to be careful! You could loose an eye or something!
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Slimming Intimates is mynew fav phrase!!!
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Amazing what those market-ers can come up with, isn’t it!
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I lost it at ‘flying butt cheek’ [and howled in hysterics] ….so glad you’ve saved me from a similar fate with this intrepid tale of misadventure….think I’ll stick with sticking pins in Dolly as she is…
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Poor Dolly!
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As long as the form doesn’t look like Helmutt, it’s a win. I’m crossing everything for the win.
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I’m not sure which to be mousy grateful for – the introduction to FF and the thought I could possibly actually get a form that looks vaguely like me, your geniusly witty post, or the Alanis cover. You always make by day!
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I love that Alanis is mocking her own style too in that special video- the crying, oh my!
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LOL!! Oh what an escapade! I admit, I would be very daunted to open up a parcel of foam bulges and then be asked to measure every square inch of my body and use said bulges to recreate its form!! I padded out my dressform using flannelette and surgical bandage, and it was depressing enough going through at least twice as much yardage as I expected to!! haha!!
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The saddest part is deciding which lumps match which of your lumps!
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That would definitely reduce me to cat-cuddling and tears 😛
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What a funny post! I tried a duct tape dummy years ago – my best friend was so patient and it proved to be a useless tool – no padding for pins what was I thinking?- I had to share this with her so she knows what next on my agenda! thanks
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Oh I never considered what adhesive would do to your pins- yuck!
May I suggest alcohol and a mix tape for the event?
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