‘No, Lads, you don’t want to venture that way- that way holds terror and odd things! This never before seen!’
‘But why, Captain Finney? Why haven’t they been seen?’
‘Timmy- sometimes a bad idea is sparked in the night and from it grows a horrible thing! A thing that cannot be stopped until it’s too late to turn back and you can only hold on and hope that morning will bring the nightmare to an end!’
‘I want to see them! I’m not scared! How bad could they be?’
‘Oh, Albert- maybe you should see the poor, ugly creatures- maybe you can tell people and they can learn from the hideousness, but I fear it’s too late for them to be saved….God bless their gaudy souls….tis a pity’
Gather closer children, cradle your teddy bears and pray for the textile souls that you are about to see- the unworn, the unloved, the freakish and unthinkable. My unblogged mistakes of style that linger in my closet, reminding me of my folly and possible colorblindnesss.
Butterick 5859- behold if you dare! A seemingly inoffensive pattern- but look what the wrong paths can end up with! A raw silk suiting that will not be hemmed neatly no matter how you try! A blouse that matches nothing else- 2 codependent pieces locked in a bitter struggle of unwearableness!
Still here? Ready for more? Clutch your smelling salts and rosaries- this is a cruel thing done to a sweet pattern!
Roxanne, you don’t have to put on the red light- I have ruined your reputation with this horrifying- tho free fabric and then I gilded that pigs ear with some dandy beads and a contrast edging. Oh, when I go wrong, I go WRONG!!! I’ve made this one before and it was adorable (oh, yes, I am proud) but somehow the muse got really vengeful this time!
Oh, you may be thinking that some of these could be saved with some love and attention, but I fear that they got too much attention from the start. I didn’t iron these- I wanted you to see them as they shame me from their hangers. Guilting me for ruining the dreams they had while on the bolt in the aisle.
Oh, why am I showing these? Ok, I have to get them off my conscience. But mostly to amuse myself and hopefully you and show that they can’t all be winners, right? Ok, I’ve saved the ‘best’ for last. This pattern has entered the witness protection program and I am not allowed to use it’s real name in print. Let’s just call it ‘Lucy’. Kids, Lucy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She ended up hanging out with a bad crowd- a crowd that cost her dignity and forever linked her to shame and strange notions. Lucy has asked to only be seen from the side and I will honor her wish. Please try not to let her see your fear and disgust! Less is more- huh, maybe…..
So many regrets in the Sewist Bordello, but I have to say, I enjoyed every minute of them! I enjoyed the ride, even if the destination was Yuckville. I wish you all a great sunday and more wins that losses in your art!
photo credits: pattern review, little me, google images.
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