Wearable Wednesday Sibling

Present your bowls- I’m about dish out some tasty crazy-


It represents the Empire States Buildings symbiotic relationship with King Kong.


Unlike it’s more famous cousin- the citrus-skunk was less able to ward off attackers.


Souxie Souix joins the Ladies auxiliary


Styling once more by the elite team of Frisky and Patches.


Does this muppet make my thighs look big?


If you look closely, the dress has a hidden suicide note-


‘Let me throw on a cardigan and answer the door’ is the last thing the Minister heard before having his stroke.




HEY, WAIT- I think I have this dress in leopard?!


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Vogue matchmaking with 8799 And Butterick 5991

Once more I have heard the sorrowful pleas of a skirt that is tired of its black tshirt partner. I can’t blame it really, it’s not doing either of us any justice!  Last year I whipped up Butterick 5991 and I love it! So easy!!!


I’ve been trying to make my style match my life- work, play, age, whatever. This is hard when you like to think of yourself like this:                       psssst- The one on the right!!!


But your work, age, and social inclination is inching you closer to this fabulous ladys style:


Seriously- I know she’s got 40 years on me, but her fab style is burning Maggie!


So todays plan is a very subtle swing in this direction by way of Vogue and the middle east. Vogue 8799 has really fun lines to it and I’ve been wanting to make the top for quite a while. I don’t remember when I got this placemat material – it’s heavy and frays like a teachers nerves the day before a break.  But the weave intrigued me. So I made a love connection!


Now this top took some work and 5 bobbins worth of tangerine! I had some major fit issues. I did my usual humpback whale alterations, and did a little try on. Holy Priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, Batman! That is a lowcut top! Seriously. I sensed it was low, but I didn’t realize I could scratch my belly from the neckline! So I removed the front panel, eyed the circles on  the pattern, which yes, they did match  and decided to add 4 yes, 4 inches to it. 4 inches. The length of Africa’s goliath beetle! Don’t say I don’t strive to educate here, folks.

Ok, now I can leave the house in it. Being that it goes from winter (burr) to hades here in SC very quickly, I didn’t line this- before I finalized my shoulder seams, I made a facing tracing around it. Much better for my heavy bizarro basket weave fabric.

So I have a very unrecognizable salute to a Kameez- or Salwar suit top.

salwar suit


I’ve been on pinterest looking at these until my eyes bled this morning. beautiful stuff! I really think my tunic love is moving seriously in this direction! But then I wore my orange placemat to work and we aren’t quite there yet. I like it in theory, but not until some new life lessons hit me this week regarding my clothing and style needs did it hit me. It’s hard. This fabric is hard. It does not flow, it does not drape. It feels like part of me is in a plaster cast and I don’t feel comfortable in it.Let’s sneak up on the style lines first:


So far so good, but look at how it climbs up- so stiff! Orange kevlar. So stylish.


Now, opposite extreme:


That’s Butterick 6183- a Lisette in a soft cotton that feels like I’m wearing a pillowcase- in that good way. Very similiar shape, but totally different feel. Soon to be incontinent model pose:


So comfortable!


Lesson? I need to keep moving in the style direction I am trying, but keep the fabric fluid and sensual- wear it, don’t armour up in it! I look like a warning in this!


photo credits: pattern review, meadhawg, pinterest,bbc, pattern review. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Anna Sui

This will be a textile lovesfest for me. Put in your earplugs so my squealing doesn’t deafen you! Come fashionistas- be your own dream sofa!


OK, lets talk about these booties so that we can move on. No. They look like butchered muppets. This model definitely has an ‘yeah, I killed Snuffalupagus, whats it to you?’ Look in her eyes!’s2

Ma’am, your scifi forehead pattern is distracting me from your fab medallion frock?! I’d say it was over-accentuating her cheekbones, but that might anger someone.


Ms Sui, I love you., But even you cannot make me accept adult overalls for anything but Dexy’s Midnight Runners videos and house painting. But on the other hand, a fannypack is an accepted form of birth control for your teen.


Hand over the necklace and boots please. Flashforward to Arendel in 10 years-  Anna got real boho….


Please remove the glam shag so I can admire that dress!!! I mean her coat- the model is not being referred to as a glam shag- no judgements here!s6

Wanda didn’t realize that her Grandmother had intended her tapestry as a wall hanging…


Best. Welding.Uniform.Evah……


No, just no.


Um, is that a bird up there? I need about 5 yards of that fabric- be a dear and fetch that, mmm’kay?


I can’t not show you this…How to Train Your Dragon to sing the music of Godspell.


Photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of the original owners.

Beware the Valley of the Unblogged!


‘No, Lads, you don’t want to venture that way- that way holds terror and odd things! This never before seen!’

‘But why, Captain Finney? Why haven’t they been seen?’

‘Timmy- sometimes a bad idea is sparked in the night and from it grows a horrible thing! A thing that cannot be stopped until it’s too late to turn back and you can only hold on and hope that morning will bring the nightmare to an end!’

‘I want to see them! I’m not scared! How bad could they be?’

‘Oh, Albert- maybe you should see the poor, ugly creatures- maybe you can tell people and they can learn from the hideousness, but I fear it’s too late for them to be saved….God bless their gaudy souls….tis a pity’

Gather closer children, cradle your teddy bears and pray for the textile souls that you are about to see- the unworn, the unloved, the freakish and unthinkable. My unblogged mistakes of style that linger in my closet, reminding me of my folly and possible colorblindnesss.


Butterick 5859- behold if you dare! A seemingly inoffensive pattern- but look what the wrong paths can end up with! A raw silk suiting that will not be hemmed neatly no matter how you try! A blouse that matches nothing else- 2 codependent pieces locked in a bitter struggle of unwearableness!



Still here? Ready for more? Clutch your smelling salts and rosaries- this is a cruel thing done to a sweet pattern!


Roxanne, you don’t have to put on the red light- I have ruined your reputation with this horrifying- tho free fabric and then I gilded that pigs ear with some dandy beads and a contrast edging. Oh, when I go wrong, I go WRONG!!! I’ve made this one before and it was adorable (oh, yes, I am proud) but somehow the muse got really vengeful this time!

Oh, you may be thinking that some of these could be saved with some love and attention, but I fear that they got too much attention from the start.  I didn’t iron these- I wanted you to see them as they shame me from their hangers. Guilting me for ruining the dreams they had while on the bolt in the aisle.



Oh, why am I showing these? Ok, I have to get them off my conscience. But mostly to amuse myself and hopefully you and show that they can’t all be winners, right? Ok, I’ve saved the ‘best’ for last. This pattern has entered the witness protection program and I am not allowed to use it’s real name in print. Let’s just call it ‘Lucy’. Kids, Lucy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She ended up hanging out with a bad crowd- a crowd that cost her dignity and forever linked her to shame and strange notions. Lucy has asked to only be seen from the side and I will honor her wish. Please try not to let her see your fear and disgust! Less is more- huh, maybe…..


So many regrets in the Sewist Bordello, but I have to say, I enjoyed every minute of them! I enjoyed the ride, even if the destination was Yuckville. I wish you all a great sunday and more wins that losses in your art!

photo credits: pattern review, little me, google images.

Wearable Wednesday Costello Tagliapietra

I have many feelings going on here. I’m excited to see some tailoring and texture. c1

Bruderlein hopes that each little channel in this vest is filled with puppy squeakers!! Oh let it be so!


After a memorable night with her favorite Holiday Inn Lounge singer, Martha does the walk of shame.


Erin cunningly wrote the geometry test answers on the lining of her wrap skirt- Sister Patronis would never catch on!!!


They really need to mark the fronts and backs on these- Leslie appears to be confused.


Ok, now we are talking-


I know that material! The beds in Dr McCoys sick bay were upholstered in it!


Rambo’s prom date?


Let’s thank the designers who took extra time away from their busy schedule as lawn gnomes!c8

photo credits:style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

I’m a big girl, but not a woman?


I’ve been plugging away at my lonely skirt matchmaking project and have some things cut out, but it was feeling like work and you know I am a giddy butterfly that hates such things in my leisure time! So I needed some almost instant gratification- welcome Mccalls 7028. Another pattern that the tech drawing sells it.


The top has a slight mullet to the hem and I made sure that it wasn’t a leggings/crotch view event- cuz thats just wrong, you know? I have to be careful with these styles- I keep thinking it would look lovely with my black floral DMs but that is a ticket to toddler town dressing with leggings if I’m not careful!


The fashion pic is very nice, but none of the hip detail shows at all. They could have at least mocked up the contrast version to give us a hint, right?  Anyhoo. I like it. Hmm…swishy skirted, girly tunic. Of course I love it.  I keep a box of cut out ‘I will love this, make it and shush’ patterns ready for my short attention span to take over. This was in it in a fabric that I’m not sure why I bought- the colors aren’t my go-tos at all. Well, ok, it had tiny hidden Mickeys. What could I do but buy?


This will sound weird, I’m not saying I’m not a big girl, but I need to stop buying WOMENS patterns and just add tweaks to size 20 MISSES. I get swallowed in the added dimensions of a Womens pattern. I think I am a delicately framed fattie. I ended up scaling this down a good bit and tapering it. I have 2 basic alterations I never skip when  I do without a muslin, which I admit, that I rarely do unless it’s a very special fabric, pattern or scarey shape!

1- I angle the upper bodice in to remove a 1-2 inch wedge for my sloping shoulders

2- I remove about an inch from the height of one shoulder

3- Oh, look, I have 3- huh, well, ok, not 2…… I lower the back neckline about 1 inch.

I’ve been told by an industry insider that these are also the standard alterations another superstar uses! I have star quality!



Anyhoo. The angled fancy neckline on this pattern daunted me regarding my tucking of said neckline, so I thought I’d wing it and make a ‘Gauderation’ later. Sure enough, the neckline-  it did gape like a tourist at a nude beach, so I did a cutesy tuck and decorative button recovery.


Other than this- I had no real issues and it is definitely a win for me. An easy to wear work acceptable top that is very comfortable. Now, this is obviously a black pants or leggings moment. But I feel like if I can keep the black to occasional statement piece wearing, I won’t be giving in!

This week my photohusband and I are snot-plagued. These runny eyes will get no photo documentation, so I hope you forgive me for leaving you with Ms Holloways vague charms!


photo credits: pattern review, meadhawg. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Suno

Yes, can you show me to your corporate bedding department? M’kay thanks.


Hmm….how many pieces are we?


Am, I crazy? I like this. Perhaps not the ortho sandals tho.


Not crazy enough to like this tho. Back to the pillowcasey vibes.


This is fun and needs armscye adjustments. but then really, what bedding fits right out of the bag?s5

Ooooh- why don’t my post-it notes ever look this stylish?


I like this! Probably not from the back tho.


Ok, Suno, you can come to all of my slumber parties, but you have to bring all the bedding!


photo credits:style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.