‘No, Lads, you don’t want to venture that way- that way holds terror and odd things! This never before seen!’
‘But why, Captain Finney? Why haven’t they been seen?’
‘Timmy- sometimes a bad idea is sparked in the night and from it grows a horrible thing! A thing that cannot be stopped until it’s too late to turn back and you can only hold on and hope that morning will bring the nightmare to an end!’
‘I want to see them! I’m not scared! How bad could they be?’
‘Oh, Albert- maybe you should see the poor, ugly creatures- maybe you can tell people and they can learn from the hideousness, but I fear it’s too late for them to be saved….God bless their gaudy souls….tis a pity’
Gather closer children, cradle your teddy bears and pray for the textile souls that you are about to see- the unworn, the unloved, the freakish and unthinkable. My unblogged mistakes of style that linger in my closet, reminding me of my folly and possible colorblindnesss.
Butterick 5859- behold if you dare! A seemingly inoffensive pattern- but look what the wrong paths can end up with! A raw silk suiting that will not be hemmed neatly no matter how you try! A blouse that matches nothing else- 2 codependent pieces locked in a bitter struggle of unwearableness!
Still here? Ready for more? Clutch your smelling salts and rosaries- this is a cruel thing done to a sweet pattern!
Roxanne, you don’t have to put on the red light- I have ruined your reputation with this horrifying- tho free fabric and then I gilded that pigs ear with some dandy beads and a contrast edging. Oh, when I go wrong, I go WRONG!!! I’ve made this one before and it was adorable (oh, yes, I am proud) but somehow the muse got really vengeful this time!
Oh, you may be thinking that some of these could be saved with some love and attention, but I fear that they got too much attention from the start. I didn’t iron these- I wanted you to see them as they shame me from their hangers. Guilting me for ruining the dreams they had while on the bolt in the aisle.
Oh, why am I showing these? Ok, I have to get them off my conscience. But mostly to amuse myself and hopefully you and show that they can’t all be winners, right? Ok, I’ve saved the ‘best’ for last. This pattern has entered the witness protection program and I am not allowed to use it’s real name in print. Let’s just call it ‘Lucy’. Kids, Lucy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She ended up hanging out with a bad crowd- a crowd that cost her dignity and forever linked her to shame and strange notions. Lucy has asked to only be seen from the side and I will honor her wish. Please try not to let her see your fear and disgust! Less is more- huh, maybe…..
So many regrets in the Sewist Bordello, but I have to say, I enjoyed every minute of them! I enjoyed the ride, even if the destination was Yuckville. I wish you all a great sunday and more wins that losses in your art!
photo credits: pattern review, little me, google images.
Pretty Grievances 
Very entertaining! I enjoyed reading your adventures in ‘bad’ makings. We’ve all been there and done that. I’m guilty of hanging on to my scary creatures in the hopes that someday they’ll relive in a purse lining or something. 🙂
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Its hard to get rid of them- it feels so wasteful!!
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Love the first blouse, the second one is good for sleeping in and the third….well, remove the pocket and wear it over a tank top…maybe? The skirt…no one should buy or make that to wear…the fabric would be better in a vest. We all learn so much from our wadders! How about a silent auction? Let your readers bid and savor their winnings!
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That skirt hem stands out like I used horsehair on it! Its like a beach umbrella from hell! I think I must leave these to my selfish nieces in my will- it will be all they get!
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Wonderful post you brave lady 🙂
I wish more people would post the ‘bloopers’ as you have here. I’m 52 and v. excited to see the growing interest in sewing amongst the younger peeps. I worry that perfectionist tendencies and snarky criticisms will discourage people from getting involved in our rewarding craft!
It takes time, experience and a bit of luck in order to make smashing completely successful garments. And, truth be told, even ones that are ‘only’ say 75% ‘perfect’ will be head and shoulders above what RTW has on offer. I say if you have not found yourself sobbing inconsolably over some sewing mishap you have not sewn!
Seriously though i am pretty impressed with these garments! i am drooling over the pattern/color palette mixing in your first outfit especially – i wish we were similar shapes, i’d say let me pay the postage! Chic and pretty and simply yummy!
I can also see that you were taking some promising looking aesthetic risks with your other pieces – what you we say, sometimes a risk pays off and sometimes it doesn’t. If you never go for it, you’ll be wearing the same boring stuff the rest of your life.
It is simply the price we must pay for continuing fabulosity 😉
dashingeccentric.blogspot.com
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I think you have to enjoy the act of sewing as much as having new clothes- so even these dainties didnt seem like a waste of time- I had fun making them, so the disastors dont dihearten me luckilly! Thank you for the kind words!
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You have a male doll in a plastic bag! Sorry didn’t see the gaudy makes at all so can’t comment on them, just the creepy doll…..
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That doll looks like a young Rupert Everett and hangs enshrined there for inspiration! Don’t you have one?
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Lol, I love your writing skills. I don’t know why I hang on to wadders either. I guess I’m thinking they’ll eventually evolve into something wearable or walk off by themselves…
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I need to bin them, I truly do, but….
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Oh, this is a fun post! I have a lot of regrettable rags haunting me too. Giving them a bit of space on the blog might help me get rid of them!
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Consider it textile exorcism for those in need of repentence!
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I just shoved five or six unwearable items I made this year (including my Jungle January Jumpsuit, sorry!) into my “upper wardrobe” (requires step ladder) so I don’t have to look at them everyday. I didn’t throw them out because I think I may “up-cycle” them or something. Dye them black, remove the pockets, save the buttons, rip out the zips. Who knows? If there is a war I will need something to “make do and mend”, won’t I?
Of your glorious collection I like the first pairing the best. I was actually scared that she would get me. She looks both ferocious and completely mad in her mauve and peach combo – reminds me of toilet tissue. Sorry.
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Oh gracious! She just needs a quilted component to complete the toilet paper motif! Where is my plunger- err, sceptor!
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You’re truly hilarious! Not the orphan garments! Ahhhhhhh! It’s good to know that other people make some lemons once in a while. I think the blouse is workable–jeans/denim or light colored linen skirt?
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Im not sure why I hate the bow blouse on its own- I need to get over it!!!
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Magnificent collection! They have friends here, symphonic variations of wronged fabrics, gauchely applied embellishment and misconstrued patterns. Each its own special journey. Let’s celebrate them.
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Seriously! After MeMadeMay, how about JustJunkJune?
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I chortled through this post – not at your garments, but at your hilarious prose! It’s so much more interesting to share what doesn’t turn out as planned!
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I think we all need to celebrate our good intentions sometimes- especially if the outcome doesnt earn a victory lap!
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Hilarious. And so close to all our own experiences.
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I cant imagine your pressure- sewing for others- my flubs can remain silent!
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I always so look forward to reading your fun posts….. how could anyone skip past something called beware the valley of the unblogged!
Must say I really like that first blouse. Is there no hope for it paired with something else?
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Its a little short in the front for tunic girl, but it will get a friend, I hope!
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Oh Lucy & Roxanne, don’t let her shame her, at least you’ve lived a life less boring! pretty girls #1&2, I applaud your resistance in the face of hemming responsibilities and forced co-habitation. All praise the unloved rebels.
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I feel like a finishing school for bad ideas!
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considering I’m a halfway home for half-baked ideas some days, I’ll keep your school in mind for when mine need to graduate 😉
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Your writing cracks me up! And it’s so good to see bloggers share some failures, sometimes it seems no one posts any garment that is less than 100% perfect. Also that butterick is divine! Absolutely a success in my books.
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If you want to see sewing disastors- grab a chair- I am your blogger!!!
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Thank you for being one of the rare creatures of The Sewing Blogworld that shows us less than perfect outcomes. I was starting to think I was the only one with ‘meh’ projects hidden away..
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I cant always blame the pattern- sometimes I just get bad ideas- but I know Im not alone!!
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Oh totally. It’s funny but a total horror is somehow easier to take thank something that almost works.
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Yes! A fail you can learn from- an almost is just frustrating!!
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Well…as long as you enjoyed the process and learned something, that’s what matters right? Though I couldn’t hardly tear my eyes away from the strange brick that made itself front and center of the last blouse… 😉 But if it makes you feel better, I tried my hand at a circle skirt recently, and let’s just say that no one wants that much excess fabric on their backside. 😛
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Ugh- if I made a circle skirt, Im afraid Id look like a merrygoround!
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Don’t you feel rather better you’ve got those confessions off your chest? I always feel a sense of ‘release’ when I blog a failure… it’s almost like the blogging of the ‘unloved’ helps you forgive yourself for bringing the beastie into the wardrobe!
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Yes! I feel more honest too- cant have everyone thinking I always plan well!
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And here I was thinking you were perfect *sigh* but I’m ok with that lol
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Oh, perfectly gaudy? Perfectly ridiculous? I can be that!
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Perfectly funny – don’t forget that!
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Love your post! Particularly after reading a couple whinging posts on Pattern Review, knocking sewing bloggers and sewing. Apparently we are an undisciplined and unruly bunch! Yea, wadderville! Yours are marvelously unlovely, just like the ones I’ve thrown in the bin. Personally, by the time I get there, I really enjoy tossing the offender garment 🙂
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I think these earned a special category- I am too proud to let anyone think I dont know they are awful by posting a regular review!
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LOL! Thanks for the trip through the Valley of the Unblogged. I have to say those don’t look all that bad but of course it’s how you feel about them that’s important. I have a few garments that I love until I put them on and I keep thinking, “I can fix that,” but making new things is always much more fun that fixing mistakes.
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So true! Id rather make a new dress than resew on a button!
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Is that the worst you got, girlfriend? I could so beat that. I’d show you, but I just gave them to my daughter to play with, and she promptly got out the shears and “remade” them. Smart girl. 🙂
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There may be an orange lacy mullet hemmed tunic that I couldnt bear to display!!
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Anne, I’m 0 for 4 on my last four makes. So thanks for the commiseration!!!
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Hey, I hear Mozart burned alot of sheet music- we are artists, we have to follow our muse, right? Even if we end in a ditch sometimes!
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LOL…what a great post! Thanks so much for showing your ‘blooper reel’…you know we ALL have them (some of us more than most…lol!). I’m currently battling an already cut out but sure to be a DISASTER project, so you may have just given me an ‘out’ by admitting that not everything we undertake is the best of ideas 🙂
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Its hard to feel like you wasted fabric, but sometimes you just have to stop!
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Hmmm maybe there is a charity somewhere that can take your orphans? (That’s where I send mine!)
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The local Goodwill gets gaudy deposits by the light of the identity concealing moon!
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Exactly! 😃. Happens quite often around here!
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Oooo, I love wadder posts! We learn so much from spending time and money on our wadders. I always excuse the expense as an education and experience cost! Thanks for sharing!
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Sometimes a good tragedy is also a comedy!
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Oh man, these are too funny! I never make it to the finish line with my colossal failures- I pop them on for a quick try-on mid-construction and realize that I’ve created an abomination too ugly to live and I throw it away, usually amidst much wailing and gnashing of teeth!
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haha, brilliant! Thanks for sharing. Roxanne in particular had me laughing out loud! So happy to know that mine are not the only monsters out there. Lucy’s buttons look like they might be nice, though? Somewhere else?!
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Lucy will definitely get clubbed over the head and herbuttons stolen!!
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Its a shame that you can’t get that raw silk skirt to hem properly, because believe it or not, I like that top and skirt together.
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Maybe I should just let it fray-
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