Beware the Valley of the Unblogged!


sailors

‘No, Lads, you don’t want to venture that way- that way holds terror and odd things! This never before seen!’

‘But why, Captain Finney? Why haven’t they been seen?’

‘Timmy- sometimes a bad idea is sparked in the night and from it grows a horrible thing! A thing that cannot be stopped until it’s too late to turn back and you can only hold on and hope that morning will bring the nightmare to an end!’

‘I want to see them! I’m not scared! How bad could they be?’

‘Oh, Albert- maybe you should see the poor, ugly creatures- maybe you can tell people and they can learn from the hideousness, but I fear it’s too late for them to be saved….God bless their gaudy souls….tis a pity’

Gather closer children, cradle your teddy bears and pray for the textile souls that you are about to see- the unworn, the unloved, the freakish and unthinkable. My unblogged mistakes of style that linger in my closet, reminding me of my folly and possible colorblindnesss.

5859

Butterick 5859- behold if you dare! A seemingly inoffensive pattern- but look what the wrong paths can end up with! A raw silk suiting that will not be hemmed neatly no matter how you try! A blouse that matches nothing else- 2 codependent pieces locked in a bitter struggle of unwearableness!

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pink

Still here? Ready for more? Clutch your smelling salts and rosaries- this is a cruel thing done to a sweet pattern!

2001

Roxanne, you don’t have to put on the red light- I have ruined your reputation with this horrifying- tho free fabric and then I gilded that pigs ear with some dandy beads and a contrast edging. Oh, when I go wrong, I go WRONG!!! I’ve made this one before and it was adorable (oh, yes, I am proud) but somehow the muse got really vengeful this time!

Oh, you may be thinking that some of these could be saved with some love and attention, but I fear that they got too much attention from the start.  I didn’t iron these- I wanted you to see them as they shame me from their hangers. Guilting me for ruining the dreams they had while on the bolt in the aisle.

red

red1

Oh, why am I showing these? Ok, I have to get them off my conscience. But mostly to amuse myself and hopefully you and show that they can’t all be winners, right? Ok, I’ve saved the ‘best’ for last. This pattern has entered the witness protection program and I am not allowed to use it’s real name in print. Let’s just call it ‘Lucy’. Kids, Lucy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She ended up hanging out with a bad crowd- a crowd that cost her dignity and forever linked her to shame and strange notions. Lucy has asked to only be seen from the side and I will honor her wish. Please try not to let her see your fear and disgust! Less is more- huh, maybe…..

DSC08703

So many regrets in the Sewist Bordello, but I have to say, I enjoyed every minute of them! I enjoyed the ride, even if the destination was Yuckville. I wish you all a great sunday and more wins that losses in your art!

photo credits: pattern review, little me, google images.

60 thoughts on “Beware the Valley of the Unblogged!

  1. Very entertaining! I enjoyed reading your adventures in ‘bad’ makings. We’ve all been there and done that. I’m guilty of hanging on to my scary creatures in the hopes that someday they’ll relive in a purse lining or something. 🙂

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  2. Love the first blouse, the second one is good for sleeping in and the third….well, remove the pocket and wear it over a tank top…maybe? The skirt…no one should buy or make that to wear…the fabric would be better in a vest. We all learn so much from our wadders! How about a silent auction? Let your readers bid and savor their winnings!

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  3. Wonderful post you brave lady 🙂

    I wish more people would post the ‘bloopers’ as you have here. I’m 52 and v. excited to see the growing interest in sewing amongst the younger peeps. I worry that perfectionist tendencies and snarky criticisms will discourage people from getting involved in our rewarding craft!

    It takes time, experience and a bit of luck in order to make smashing completely successful garments. And, truth be told, even ones that are ‘only’ say 75% ‘perfect’ will be head and shoulders above what RTW has on offer. I say if you have not found yourself sobbing inconsolably over some sewing mishap you have not sewn!

    Seriously though i am pretty impressed with these garments! i am drooling over the pattern/color palette mixing in your first outfit especially – i wish we were similar shapes, i’d say let me pay the postage! Chic and pretty and simply yummy!

    I can also see that you were taking some promising looking aesthetic risks with your other pieces – what you we say, sometimes a risk pays off and sometimes it doesn’t. If you never go for it, you’ll be wearing the same boring stuff the rest of your life.

    It is simply the price we must pay for continuing fabulosity 😉
    dashingeccentric.blogspot.com

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    • I think you have to enjoy the act of sewing as much as having new clothes- so even these dainties didnt seem like a waste of time- I had fun making them, so the disastors dont dihearten me luckilly! Thank you for the kind words!

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  4. Lol, I love your writing skills. I don’t know why I hang on to wadders either. I guess I’m thinking they’ll eventually evolve into something wearable or walk off by themselves…

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  5. I just shoved five or six unwearable items I made this year (including my Jungle January Jumpsuit, sorry!) into my “upper wardrobe” (requires step ladder) so I don’t have to look at them everyday. I didn’t throw them out because I think I may “up-cycle” them or something. Dye them black, remove the pockets, save the buttons, rip out the zips. Who knows? If there is a war I will need something to “make do and mend”, won’t I?

    Of your glorious collection I like the first pairing the best. I was actually scared that she would get me. She looks both ferocious and completely mad in her mauve and peach combo – reminds me of toilet tissue. Sorry.

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  6. You’re truly hilarious! Not the orphan garments! Ahhhhhhh! It’s good to know that other people make some lemons once in a while. I think the blouse is workable–jeans/denim or light colored linen skirt?

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  7. Magnificent collection! They have friends here, symphonic variations of wronged fabrics, gauchely applied embellishment and misconstrued patterns. Each its own special journey. Let’s celebrate them.

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  8. I always so look forward to reading your fun posts….. how could anyone skip past something called beware the valley of the unblogged!

    Must say I really like that first blouse. Is there no hope for it paired with something else?

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  9. Oh Lucy & Roxanne, don’t let her shame her, at least you’ve lived a life less boring! pretty girls #1&2, I applaud your resistance in the face of hemming responsibilities and forced co-habitation. All praise the unloved rebels.

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  10. Siobhan says:

    Your writing cracks me up! And it’s so good to see bloggers share some failures, sometimes it seems no one posts any garment that is less than 100% perfect. Also that butterick is divine! Absolutely a success in my books.

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  11. Thank you for being one of the rare creatures of The Sewing Blogworld that shows us less than perfect outcomes. I was starting to think I was the only one with ‘meh’ projects hidden away..

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  12. Well…as long as you enjoyed the process and learned something, that’s what matters right? Though I couldn’t hardly tear my eyes away from the strange brick that made itself front and center of the last blouse… 😉 But if it makes you feel better, I tried my hand at a circle skirt recently, and let’s just say that no one wants that much excess fabric on their backside. 😛

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  13. Don’t you feel rather better you’ve got those confessions off your chest? I always feel a sense of ‘release’ when I blog a failure… it’s almost like the blogging of the ‘unloved’ helps you forgive yourself for bringing the beastie into the wardrobe!

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  14. Love your post! Particularly after reading a couple whinging posts on Pattern Review, knocking sewing bloggers and sewing. Apparently we are an undisciplined and unruly bunch! Yea, wadderville! Yours are marvelously unlovely, just like the ones I’ve thrown in the bin. Personally, by the time I get there, I really enjoy tossing the offender garment 🙂

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  15. LOL! Thanks for the trip through the Valley of the Unblogged. I have to say those don’t look all that bad but of course it’s how you feel about them that’s important. I have a few garments that I love until I put them on and I keep thinking, “I can fix that,” but making new things is always much more fun that fixing mistakes.

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  16. Piper Springs says:

    Is that the worst you got, girlfriend? I could so beat that. I’d show you, but I just gave them to my daughter to play with, and she promptly got out the shears and “remade” them. Smart girl. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. LOL…what a great post! Thanks so much for showing your ‘blooper reel’…you know we ALL have them (some of us more than most…lol!). I’m currently battling an already cut out but sure to be a DISASTER project, so you may have just given me an ‘out’ by admitting that not everything we undertake is the best of ideas 🙂

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  18. Oh man, these are too funny! I never make it to the finish line with my colossal failures- I pop them on for a quick try-on mid-construction and realize that I’ve created an abomination too ugly to live and I throw it away, usually amidst much wailing and gnashing of teeth!

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  19. haha, brilliant! Thanks for sharing. Roxanne in particular had me laughing out loud! So happy to know that mine are not the only monsters out there. Lucy’s buttons look like they might be nice, though? Somewhere else?!

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