Burda 7517 Late to the Party!

Summer flowy dress fever has hit me. While I trudge across the work parking lot begging my toes not to become lodged in the melty tarmac, I visualize myself in a cool, breezy area- ok, it’s Epcot. I transport myself to the International Gateway and pretend that the French Pavillions gelato area has replaced my desk. Nice, right? I’ve tried this in the cafeteria, but somehow the chicken fingers never turn into lovely finger sandwiches and fancy drinks. I’ve begged the lunch lady to use those little umbrellas I supplied her with in my drinks, but she is a dream killer cog in the machine. Sigh.


Well, if I can’t live it, I can dress it right? So I’m adding some summer flowiness to my work dresses- fitted but flowy. I’ve had Burda 7517 since……it wasn’t OOP. But never got around to it. Why? I don’t know. I love making darts- no sarcasm. I love making them. I think I read in Readers Digest that it was on the list of ‘Secret Serial Killer Proclivities’. Seriously-

1- like to squeeze kitty paw pads

2- watches too much reality tv

3- Likes to make darts- both fish eye and regular

4- keeps a severed head next to the frozen creamed chipped beef in their mothers deep freeze

It’s all making sense now, isn’t it. Yeah, you know.

Oh, enough about me. Lets talk about this little frock! 13 reviews on Pattern Review. Not exactly Vogue 1247 

but it’s more popular than the winceworthy Mccalls 6615:


These pics immediately make me think:

‘I got my knees a’flexin’, 

got my arms t-rexin’    Thank Andy Sandberg.

Hey Big4- lets stop trying to make calf camouflage a thing, ok? Don’t look all innocent with me- you know what I’m talking about- GUILTY!


Phew. I’m sorry you all had to look at that, but shame is really the only thing that holds us together as a society. Back to our pattern. I was getting  a little worried- no big girls have reviewed this one. Maybe that’s bad, but actually I like it and the husband does too. Of course, he loves blue. I’m not huge on blue on me, but it has such cool colors that I am, drawn to. Cool like neato, not like ‘cool’ colors. I’m still trying decide if I am a Type 2 or a Type 4……or just a Type Shallow. Anyhoo.

I got out the tripod again. Sigh. I will beat this camera, if it kills me. In the meantime I will just look dead.


I did not do View B- you know my feelings on self ties. I wore it belted to work, but really preferred the subtle shaping without it, so I took it in about 3 inches after my initial wear. This envelope doesn’t exactly promise a great fit- the reviews on PR made me give this a 2nd look.

It doesn’t flow like my summer fantasies and because the pups were imprisoned in the yard while Mr B shampooe’d their messes into oblivion, I took these pics inside. Forgive the gloom. No. It’s mood lighting, lets stay positive! Here we go- inching toward self-timer prowess!


This neckline is my friend. Well, during the cut out at least. a nicely darted neckline means I can skip my hollow chest alteration. I’m a little disappointed that my darts aren’t as crisp and defined as some of the reviews. But I’m not as defined as most of the reviewers! I liked how the shape ended up, I’m not sure why my skirt is not as columny as other reviews, but I’m good with it.


Side zip- why? I mean really- another over the head dress that doesn’t need and zipper. Does Talon have some sort of hold over the pattern industry? Even knit patterns feel the need to have a zipper. I may start a non-zipper movement. Erica Jong fans are you with me?


Sorry peeps- you don’t get full makeup on a sunday afternoon- I have to let the ground lay fallow at least once a week!


Hey! Almost all of me is in frame!!!

Gracious- I really look like my Mother in these pics- right down to the photo-taking dislike!


photo credits: Little me, Pattern Review. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Olympis Le-Tan

Agnes couldn’t put her finger on why the Human Resources manager hadn’t just gone ahead and done the interview today.


Ms Wentzy was never asked to chaperone the 8th grade dance again.


Aw, damn- ain’t this cute?


I can’t stop smiling- it’s hurting my face! I want a whacked out Columbine shopping outfit!


Just popping out to the grocery store-


Where is Blair Waldorf when you need her?


A crotch proscenium! What a subtle way to say you like role playing!


Saving the best for last:


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owner.

Wearable Wednesday Zoe Jordan

This is how the back of all my needlepoint looks:


Always secure the scissors before going to bed at night.


I think I’m about to sneeze at this too.


No more strip poker for you, Lady!


Mud flaps. Interesting choice.


And yet she still got a cold.


Warm hands, cold……well, you know…..


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owner.

Lisette, you woo’d me again

Lisette and I- we have a little thing. We are so cozy together. My favorite blouse I’ve made 4 times in varying levels of gaudy is a Lisette Continental. It’s my go-to for  a comfy top I can dress up or down.


I have 2 Diplomats-


I have a Portrait in a bad fabric choice!


I made a portfolio so long ago that I can’t even find it! 4 more Lisette babies including a jacket a dress and 2 tunics. When I like, I like strong, you knows?

So much like when  your favorite beautician, the keeper of the flame color as it were, whispers that she is going to be under a different sign, you grab your toweling and follow!


Lisette is with Butterick now. Small distinction I suppose, Big 4 is Big 4, right? Well so much is my love of this gal, I saw the name on the envelope top on a counter display and grabbed them up like penny candy. This jacket 6169 has gotten much love lately, but the dress was my focus.


Hmm- tunicy, it has those oddly placed marsupial pockets sure to be useless for phone storage, but it has a nice slim line and fun shoulder detail. It is also a 1 episode of Mr Selfridge and 2 episodes of Married at First Sight sew. Yes, I still count sewing room time in episodes. This week I hemmed a pair of pants for a friends daughters first work uniform. She asked how much, I thought about how many things I watched and charged her my 30 minute sitcom rate.

Now, today will be an adventure. I plan to try out the camera timer. I don’t think the husband really believed I wanted to try taking pics myself. I think he just thought I was lapsing into one of my episodes of ‘chore tourettes’ I get when its the weekend.

‘did you move the stuff off the deep freeze?’

‘did you move the stuff off the deep freeze?’

‘did you move the stuff off the deep freeze?’

‘did you move the stuff off the deep freeze?’

‘did you move the stuff off the deep freeze?’

‘did you move the stuff off the deep freeze?’

Usually he just nods at me sympathetically, wishing there was a medication to take away my suffering and make me stop repeating myself. So not to embarrass me during these times of such an obvious issue on my part, he ignores these noises coming from my face. Ain’t he swell? Husband Chore Tourettes- lets work for the cure, ladies.

‘Did you locate the camera remote? I’d like to use it….’

‘Did you locate the camera remote? I’d like to use it….’

‘Did you locate the camera remote? I’d like to use it….’

‘Did you locate the camera remote? I’d like to use it….’

‘Did you locate the camera remote? I’d like to use it….’

‘Did you locate the camera remote? I’d like to use it….’

Ok, after a 5 minute tutorial and then 3 seperate refresher sessions that involved heavy sighing form him and  solemn vows from me that ‘THAT IS NOT THE BUTTON I PRESSED!!! WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT IT????’ I have realized that this is just not as easy as I thought. I present my craptastic photos.

Series 1, a study is camera placement:


Series 2-  why is it falling? Get out of the frame, Bruderlein?!


Series 3- ‘No- wait- CRAP?!’


Fine. I’ll just throw it on Ms holloway and show you the fun details of this one:


Sigh…..maybe next time I’ll get a full body shot.

photo credits: pattern review, little me, google images. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Undercover

Winged Bridesmaid of the Damned


And now- the celebrated Dance du Canopy Bed-


Harriet the extremely stylish spy.


Psst- stop staring at her knees- it’s rude!


Shorty bowling blazer?


It is now officially the 500th time I have typed ‘what is that thing on her crotch’ while writing a Wearable Wednesday. We’ll have cake later.


Ok, I am totally onboard with the baseball jacket craze now.


Dragon with a parachute? A siamese cat with 2 umbrellas? Aerial view of Kittyhawk? A schooner?


The Bolshoi never appreciated Vernoique’s more modern routines.


Meet me at the party-

How will I find you among the crowd?

Oh, you will….


What the what?


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owner.

Wearable Wednesday Markus Lupfer

Today we will be speaking directly to one of Marcus Lupfers models! Modelling is often a career passed down in families- our model is no exception- her great-grandmother was a print model for Beatrix Potter. Please meet Flop-Z.


I can’t believe I’m being interviewed for Womens Wear Daily!

Ahem, Flop-Z, it’s actually Wearable Wednesday.

Well, crap. Did the check at least clear? My agent is toast for this.

Can we discuss the collection a bit?

Fun sneakers, sullen models and ME. enough said.


Can we discuss the rich textures interplaying with basic, barren shapes-

I’m not in this picture. Whats to talk about- move on.

Ok, ok.

This is much better- I’m doing a much better job than the other so called model! Look at my RBF- perfection! No one does Resting Bunny Face like Flop-Z!


Oh, this brocade is so-

Hey! Look at me in this one! Look how thin my ears look- I am noted in the industry for my flawless ear-gap. No one can top my swagger in the ear-gap department. It’s also natural- not like that Kottentail show off who married a rapper.


This is a tough industry, how do you stay grounded?

I mentor other young models. These 2 on the right are very new- I had to gently tell one of them to put down her e-cig for the picture. Imagine!  One must give back to the industry- but not too much- these models can turn on you! I learned that from a certain wannabe that has obviously stolen my brow game.


Are the rumors of rivalries and model hazing true?

Sadly, yes- it happens all the time- I have to put upstarts in their place- Bitch got a hand full of Flop-Z’s personal good & plenty in this picture- she’d been squeezing my tail all shoot and I was not taking any more!


I can see why you are so popular in the industry- the camera loves you- may I ask- do you get whisker highlights?

This interview is over.


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owner.

Simplicity 1466- lest I offend

Alright everyone, let’s take our seats- it’s time for a serious talk about a possibly uncomfortable subject. No, not SPANX- that’s been pretty well-covered. I’m talking about Clothing diversity. Yes, Clothing Diversity. Familiar? Its ok, I just made up the term. Now we all know that imitating a person’s accent or culture is not cool. Even if you don’t honestly mean to be offensive- you probably have. But what about appropriating a person’s national dress? When does homage become Paris Hilton dining at Nobu in a shorty Geisha costume she got at Party City? Can a person manage to swing past the tacky costumy feel of a direct cultural knock off and be as acceptable as a Nehru jacket on a Ken doll?


You all knew this was coming- my Bollywood summer madness debut. It started with an embarrassing Simplicity Harem girl pattern. I wanted to take that part to my grave, but a pattern review needs pattern accuracy, right? So I’m going to admit that I research Kameez suit pants patterns and darned if this costume wasn’t right on the money. So I used a homespun muslin business with a thin gold pin stripe and then tapered the legs in about 3 inches, adding 2 to the length and then I gently gathered the outer leg about 6 inches into 3 to get that elephant ankle effect.

saggy baggy

***I meant like the children’s book!  The saggy-baggy elephant- this was in no way an attempt to add even more dubious cultural web strands to this possibly inflammatory post***

Ok, as you know I’ve been circling pinterest and even Vogue India online to drool and plot. I decided that the obvious tunic styles with blousy sleeves and embroidery would be seriously ‘I got it at a little shop at the port!- isn’t it darling? ’ So I went in a less obvious direction- Simplicity 1466. I’ve submitted to sleeveless again!


It feels kind of retro- but dressy. Cutting Question, Simplicity! What’s the point of that center seam? It isn’t even curved for fit purposes- it’s just there to make me match a print again?! When I do my standard fit moves, I angle the upper neck on all bodices in about 1 inch, so I just didn’t bother with that seam at all. Hello pattern match. Now as you know- I am built not like the proverbial brick shit house, but like a classical Egyptian icon- a thing to gather around and worship, marveling at its design- yes, a pyramid. So I can get anything with a fit and flair shape over my head without a zipper- it’s my skillset. Show me a fit and flare straight jacket and me and MacMurphy are busting out of this Cuckoo’s nest with only minimal mussing of the hair!

My only other change was no interfacing- the stretch twill was heavy enough to not need it. So I bothered not a bit.

Now, down the hall, I hear the stirrings of my personal chauffeur Husband. He awakens. I will give him 15 minutes to mainline coffee, pet the dogs and start up World of Warcraft- then I shall spring my fab, FAB, FFAABB! New look on him.

I gussy up and head into the computer lair. I warn him that the overhead light is going on. I do a slow

Prancing Fantasia Hippo turn. I beam, I await praise. Nothing.

Well, not nothing, I did get a look of terrified horror. He looked at me like I was wearing blackface. Seriously. He looked like if he’d had access to a blanket and a divorce lawyer he would have thrown both of them over me. I start saying ‘What, what, what?’ in ever increasing shrill tones.

He finally speaks and tells me that I cannot possible leave the house and go to work in those pants- they are so ‘on the nose’ that I will offend every doctor on our GI staff. He backpedals at the look of crushed sorrow on my face- he likes the top maybe with leggings, but the pants- no, nononononono!!!!!!!

So ok, I put them on the back burner and puzzled over what the problem is. I would never dream of wearing a Bindi or having a Chinese character tattooed on my leg that I had no idea what the social ramifications entailed, but the pants of another culture? If they aren’t Nazi uniform pants- aren’t I safe?

I’m on a slippery slope in buttered Doc Martins, me thinks. Just because you don’t mean to offend- doesn’t mean you don’t. Perhaps I need to try to walk a mile in another man’s moccasins- crap! Forget I wrote that! I don’t think we say that anymore. Focus! How would I feel if someone ran around in my national dress. Ok, honestly, I’d want to know why they couldn’t be bothered to spruce up a little. I

mean really. Didn’t we invent the jammie pants/hoodie combo? Jeans and camo? Feel free to take that and run with it other nations- I’ll stay busy trying to run from it.

Ok, little enablers- here’s your chance to weigh in on the pants of perdition or the Leggings of Lamentation!

Set phasers on stun and let me know if this outfit should be buried or loved and embraced.


Do you shriek? Do you recoil?


No one shot at me or threw eggs- I think I’m kind of safe and you know what? I am soooo comfortable! I love this fabric- Mary Jo’s in Gastonia for the win!



Oh, come on- tell me this isn’t fun!! Look how well I match the railing!


photo credits: meadhawg, google images, pattern review. All images remain the property of their original owners.