NewLook 6299- attack of the muse!

Truly I cannot explain it- my blog has not reached the mammoth front row invite, toast of the town, fashion maven level that I assumed it would. I mean really- a girl like I with taste and style should be advising Kanye and sipping diet coke with Kaiser Lagerfeld and his cat.

Something must be done. So I’ve hired a stylist/guru/consultant to advise me. Ahr-Vette. I’m sure you’ve heard of her…him….them. Honestly I’m not sure which- I asked and they responded that their gender identity was Je Jene. Email me if you figure it out.

I’m very excited about my first photo shoot guided by this master of sartorial swanning. I will be alone as Bruderlein seems to be under the weather after his makeover. I think he ate too much of his lipstick and I had to cut 3 pairs of eyelashes out of his tail flag. Maybe next time.

Let’s discuss my dress while I wait for the photo shoot set to be finished- I think I hear seals, but it must be something else. I couldn’t afford the albino moose Ahr-Vette tried to rent- that led to a major hissy fit. See? I knew this was the big league!


This week I’ve made a project I’ve been stewing on since last fall. Prada, Gucci and Mui Mui did a lot of collars that were jeweled or heavy tapestry in contrast prints. I’ve been wanting a fit and flare collared pilgrim dress and finally settled on New Look 6299. 

I did not change the pattern at all other than adding the contrast cuff to the elbow length sleeves and widening the space between the collar a bit. I chose the contrast stripe front- ever on the look out for that slimming illusion without exercise!


. I did not Muslin this, but I applied to the Fit Mole Goddess for armscye guidance and cut the neckline and trimmed the shoulders to fit my Mary Todd Lincoln body shape.

Oh, wait……Ahr-Vette needs another check and a box of jointed stuffed animal paws overnighted to the photo shoot. I should ask why….Ok, I’ve upset Ahr-Vette. I need to go get her and her 3 assistants soy chai’s.

Ok, I’m back. I have soothed AV- I get to call him that now! Not that I’m in the inner circle- I just wasn’t pronouncing it right and it was giving her/him a migraine.

For me this dress sew was just a chore to do until I could play with the collar.

  I wanted random, kind of found object foolishness. I think I got it. This contrast fabric almost matches the main fabric- I tried perfect matches, but it felt too quilt match perfect- this felt a little jarring with the polka dot. I’m sorry! I’m sorry! AV needs me for light tests. Let me run.

This is so important to me- the being the next Kardashian mega star, I’ve used my 401k to fly my team and myself to New York to rent and shoot in a very trendy gastro palace in the old Bowery. Ratpandoo is amazing! It’s an unrestored storage unit left by the previous owners and it oozes cool city vibes. For $700 a patron, a minor member of the Grimaldi family eats a free range dingo strip steak and then gently belches the fumes onto you. It is an amazing experience that only the truly Riche can fully appreciate.

‘Is this ok? What if I trip? I can’t see so well-‘

‘Naomi Campbell falls all the time- are YOU better than La Campbell??? Listen to Ahr-Vette! I am art! Now still your soul and bend at the knee- no- the other way- be like the wraith! Be A dark willow of glamour!’

‘Can I show them the back? I did a zipper…’

‘The back is not moving Ahr-Vette! Bend like the sad puppet- hold the pose- hold the agony- seize the schradenfreude!’


‘It hurts! I don’t understand the plan- why-‘

‘WHY? She asks why? You of the less than 900 followers and no Instagram?? ‘

‘Ok, sorry, sorry!’


‘What are you doing? ‘

‘Well, if I turn slightly, I’ll look thinner..’

‘No turning. We airbrush 95 pounds from your peasant flanks later. ‘

‘But that’s crazy- I’ll look 80 pounds- nobody modeling is 80 pounds….oh…’


Well, I think we can all agree that this has been most successful and I just have to wait here quietly for the accolades and offers to pour in. Vogue, Harpers, Marie Claire, Popular Mechanics, I await your summons.

Photo credits: Pattern Review,. little me, Ahr-Vette. All images remain the property of their original owners.

49 thoughts on “NewLook 6299- attack of the muse!

  1. Love the collar and color blocking Tres Chic! I don’t know how you managed it…princess seams over the bust points and perfectly set in sleeves and OMG…it looks like you ironed it too before the photo shoot…who does that??? And did I notice the perfunctory pigeon-toed pose? No make-up…who needs it when you have the perfect scarf to cover yourself! It is almost too nice to wear to work…but for Ratpandoo…I’m sure the matre d’ was impressed and ushered you to the best seat in the house.


  2. Beautiful Frock! I have been looking for a princess seam dress that goes to the shoulder, most go the armhole. Thanks so much for the review. You crack me up! Keep sewing & keep us entertained!


  3. I love your take on this pattern — great collar to embellish, I should do that next time as I fell in love with all those embroidered jeweled things last fall too! I do like this pattern. I didn’t have to overly alter it either.


  4. lgilette says:

    Truly, a pretty dress. I also love the collar and have taken notes for my next LBD. The fitting is spot on. I love the length on you and you should wear more dresses, great legs. Wish I had them….


  5. Oh, my dear, you are already a megastar blogger. I am such a big fan that I sometimes worry I might actually be a creepy stalker and not know it. I’m not worthy, me with my paltry 20 page views on a good day. Ahem… anyway…

    I love, love, love the dress. I love paisley and similar complicated prints and pairing it with polka dots… genius!


  6. Brenda says:

    What? I’ve been following you on Instagram for months, nay years! Who is that imposter? 😉

    Impeccable fit, which is a gold star in my book. And your writing is delightful!


  7. MWAH MWAH!! Soooperb sweetie dahlink! AV has aught your key lights! And the juxtaposition of the kayaks and gas tanks – so meaningful. Fashion is a trip through the rapids of life, non?
    Nice dress too btw 😉


  8. Cristina says:

    Really lovely dress! That collar and the color blocking are beautifully done. I’m here from your funny comments on Oona Balloona and you are hilarious! Why aren’t you writing a book?


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