Vogue 1334-Looking Wide is a Plan?

Pants. The antidote to hosiery. I’m a leggings and tunic gal- you know this. But I’m trying to embrace other options- getting ready for my leggings trend to eventually die….sigh.


OOOOHHHHH- cheetah!


Ok, girl, walk before you run, right? I’m going to try this pattern- Vogue 1334, in a neutral. YES! I said a NEUTRAL!


I want to try to get some coordinates going this spring- maybe  I’m finally getting something thru my obviously dyed skull that planning is a good thing. HAH! Oh, hey- photo disclaimor- the giant forearm bruise is from lab work a week ago. Mr B never beats me where it could show. Ready?



I’m not sure about these. As far as a pattern review- they are easier than falling off a curb to make. I did narrow down the sides about 3 inches on each side- it was TOOOO wide. Like windsock wide. Like childrens play tunnel wide. Like FEMA emergency housing suitable. Well, they are comfortable, but I must say- I don;t feel them falling or rising in the crotch, but I feel like they must be migrating- my photos feature either camel toe or drop crotch. I have a rounded stomache- I’m aware of this- but I think I understand why my body double doesn’t wear pants:


Hey, we are both very lovable and look great in red! I will keep trying- I like the idea, but maybe it’s the top that is bringing me down.


Oh, the top- it’s a another New Look 6808-  top shape I fall back on alot! See? We all like a good fitting top.


photo credits: pattern review, little me, pinterest.. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Vahan Khachatryan

Class, Muriel is here to present her report on St Agnes of Basilchi- the first martyr to be forced to eat her own hair.


Pink eye never stopped a true runway professional like Vivianne.



Brent knew as soon as he saw his blind date. This prom night he would not get lucky.


Sibyilactin: for when your feel like  your Opiod Induced Constipation is obvious to everyone.


I may be late for the runway show- the Broncos are playing!!!


Too matchy matchy?


Avatar: the impressionist period.


Ok, I like this one!


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Theo

Nefertiti’s chinstrap idea fizzled out after one season of Nile runway shows.


Andrea never could keep cats from jumping up on her and scratching.


I don’t know where it goes, just putting on your arm and maybe no one will notice.


I feel silly- but I guess it’s better than wearing it like a hat, right……oh, sorry, Theresa.


Holy Oompa Loompa bedding, Batman!


Once you see her ears- you CAN’T look away.


She looks like a baked potato working as a knights squire.


Shut up- it helps me concentrate.


I can see Nemo and Marlon checking for danger before they leave the reef…..


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Burda 6832- A dress that comes in Peace

Burda 1

Greetings Earthlings- err, fellow Americans!

I bring you salutations from our Leader Belznar! We are so pleased at the warm reception we were given by your local dignitaries. The Mighty and benevolent Belznar found them both hospitable and excellent lunch……companions.

It pains our leader to feel that some of you do not recognize his kind overtures of assistance as the gracious acts that they are. Belznar loves you- never has he seen a more tasty- err, meaty, no- talented species. He wants you to know that he is just like you- he enjoys time with his family pod, hunting and he puts his humanoid suit on 1 flipper at a time, just as all of you.

I will now entertain questions submitted by you.

Hmm…..’does Belznar plan to destroy us and use our bodies as fuel’, hmm, not relevant……..’Why are our children being herded into pens’…….next question…..ah, here’s a good one!

‘Where did you get your dress?’

An Excellent question- showing all of the insight and thoughtfulness we appreciate about your culture.

I assume you refer to my natural fiber humanoid shroud. I studied the ancient domestic crafts of your people and built this myself to assist me in assimilating to your primitive ways.


There has been much study of your ‘social networks’ mostly containing the historical detail of a prominent family of four sisters, or horsewomen that will bring on your impending apocalypse. These sisters seek to control you thru the use of ‘fashion’ and the control of your dynamic leisure arts professionals.

Khloe Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Jenner, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Kendall Jenner

FILE – In this Aug. 17, 2011 file photo, from left, Khloe Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Jenner, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner arrive at the Kardashian Kollection launch party in Los Angeles. The E! Entertainment network said Tuesday it had reached a deal with its most bankable franchise to make three more seasons of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” (AP Photo/Matt Sayles, file)

To understand you, I have sought ‘fashion’ and spent many hours standing in your local textile markets, watching historical transmissions of artisans known as ‘quiters’ that eviscerate these cotton plant weavings into multiple piles and then needlessly reassemble them while others make appreciative noises.

Using my superior intellect and resources, I channeled your domestic primitives and made what you refer to as:

‘Smart casual dresses for various occasions. Sporty details of variant A with short sleeves are the stitched shoulder patches from imitation leather. Version B with notched mandarin collar and pockets in the front panel seams. Embellishing details are the many little buttons and also the slight leg-of-mutton sleeves.’


The drone at the textile market assured me that the synthetic derivative textile would provide a needed ‘pop’ of ‘fun’ to my ‘fuddy duddy tweed’. Hmm. I did not dispute these findings as I was more concerned with how I was to fit my arm thru the extremity of a fleeced animal as stated and how many little buttons constitutes ‘many little buttons’.

Your people have no desires to assimilate and are often seeking options for additional foolish embellishment. To better understand this ridiculous nature, I tried to think as your herd would and chose the longer of the extremity coverings- as it provided better coverage for my gills- err, suited your climate better. I’m not altogether pleased with the sleeve fit- lots of drag lines. I may have a drone reinsert them to get rid of these drag lines that i read about on your social media.


Now, if there are no other questions, please proceed to the large grey scaffolded building where you will be chosen for consumption- err, given prizes! Yes, prizes!


photo credits: little me, facebook, pattern review.All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Whyred

My Mother always hated when I’d dress up but wear my ratty casual coat with it. I believe I made this face at her when she’d mention it:


This is how I’d like a Miss Jane Marple reboot to look:


Well, for all of you that wondered if you could pleat fruit leather. You can. But don’t.



What is this? Leather? Godiva truffle liner? Does it affect her cell phone reception? Can I have a truffle?


I’m worried that 45 other people came out in this outfit and it turned into a depressing flashmob.


You know you can’t say Whyred without saying ‘WHY???’


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.

The Rescue Post!! UPDATE!!!!


Readers, I have great news. For all of you who have been clutching your pearls and hankies- wondering about the LOST JUNGLE CRUISE- I have word of their successful discovery and rescue. When  word of a stray  cruise vehicle was reported to me, I immediately sought the most well-trained jungle search party with the best knees and dispatched them forthwith!




It was a long and tense week at the Grievous Outpost, but my intrepid rescue party has returned and all cruisers are healthy and well!Here are reports from  the front line:

Resting in the infirmary and sipping a pink squirrel- if the lovely and sarcastic, Splinters & Stitches! Lekala patterns are newer to me and I know I need this one now. The crossover is quite prec’.


Losing Maria in the jungle would have been a major tragedy- but I hear she carried several of the party to safety and looked amazing doing it! Go see Velosewer- she made 3 trips to the jungle- I’m counting this weeks snakey Wanda, too!


Gabrielle definited looked tempting to the rescuers in her wrap dress- I need this pattern too.


Miushka spent her time well, reading Proust to the locals and showing off her mules- tassels! Be still my heart!!!


Sue– I can’t leave you off the bus- get in back and grab a banana!

McCall's patterns 021a

Cari has a peak at her SWAP swag and a daisy of a dress to show everyone once you have all met your medical clearance and returned home.


A canoe has been spotted by my search flamingoes and Aida and Marianne are here safe!

These two were so busy enjoying the foliage and the legendary storytelling of the local zebras that we almost left them- can you imagine??

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I am here to hottly deny the rumours that I  was after Marianne stash- resting unguarded here at home. But could you blame me???? Honestly, hand on a copy of Pride and Prejudice- I’m after BOTH OF THEIR FABRIC COLLECTIONS!!



photo credits: Pattern Review, Splintersnstitches, Velosewer, Up So Late, Historium, Miushka, Sue, MArianne, Aida,Cari.   ALL images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Ioana Ciolacu

Do you know how many pictures of my niece I have wearing similiar on facebook? She is three tho. She has no clue.


Seymour the moderate to severe plaque psoriasis skunk was only used as a spokesperson briefly. Consumers found the concept too flaky.


When  fashion meets function and they don’t develop a very good relationship.


Esther was so looking forward to becoming the 435th  wife of their holy leader. It was an honor not bestowed on many.


Psst- Chloe! Your gorila suite id sliding down- Chlo- CHLO!!!!!


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of their original owners.