Wearable Wednesday Balmain

Bond villainesses have been waiting for this collection!!

Come on, can anyone wear afghan pants without chafing? I chafe at the very notion.

These are very dramatic, I’ll say that. Perfect for announcing that You know who killed Sebastian!

I’ve never seen sheer wood grain before….I can see her….knots

Mr Bond- we are here to disarm you- 

(Insert Roger Moore triple entendre!)

These slit pants are for erotic nights playing the cello, right?

Now how are we going to convince that Kardashian girl to leave the house in more than just a jacket after seeing this!?

Photo credits: style.com. All images 

remain the property of the original owners.

Butterick 5816 No zippidee, lots of doodah.

It is hard to get dressed in the summer. The effort of layering leaves me numb and spent. I like easy flowy tops and a vague feeling of dress pants below. So I go on a floaty top sewing spree every July. I cut out 4 at Fathers today- to the accompaniment of a WW1 documentary.

Before that I revisited an old friend- Butterick 5816- OOP!


My other version is D- but I have a non-functional zipper aversion.Maybe it was too much time in the 80’s trying to look like Boogaloo Shrimp. Maybe I just hate metal near my skin- unless it’s this MCQueen dress that doubles as a nursing ensemble- which I think needs decorative zipper pulls-


This just seems uncomfortable and a potential tushy pincher!


I know it can be lovely, it’s just not for me.

So I edited the shoulder panels to skip it and added a row of decorative coral charms. Cuz I usually can use more charms than I naturally possess?!

This time I did not even think about it, I went right to the decorative trim along the seam and headed out to get some nicely over-expose pictures on the way to Fathers for lunch.


This landmark has been on my blog pic plan for a long time. Little did I know it was a Pokémon stop and everyone would slow to a crawl as they passed it. No, that’s not intimidating or uncomfortable for this chubby introvert!


Usually I bring you nothing useful, I may break my streak here- I’ve discovered the joys of adding a little line of fusible webbing between facing and garment on back necklines, so I don’t end up with the back ‘walk of shame lobster bib’ hanging out of the back if I’m not careful.


This is one of the rare pieces of fabric I got a Hancock- usually I just pillaged the patterns and shopped at Fabricmart! Yesterday we hitched up the buggy and drove into the big city to go to the Jo Ann’s. Heart sinking. Not very excited by the fabric. Maybe it’s between seasons, maybe I’m just too weird!

Should you be totally enamored of this classic Anderson setting, enjoy this link to a free jigsaw puzzle of the property! http://www.jigidi.com/jigsaw-puzzle/GLXS0212/Rankin-s-Grocery-Anderson-SC


photo credits: pattern review, little me, pinterest. All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Vetements

I’m not even sure I need to comment on these. But I will. No. I just can’t.


What can I say? It’s like going thru a receiving line at a wedding that you know is a bad idea- but you have to say something to their Mom, but what?


Better luck next time?


I hear good things about the caterer?


Don’t they look happy?


Always nice to get out and see people!


All the pictures are in focus!


Ok, thats it- I’m hitting the punch bowl and sneaking out the back.


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of the original owners.

Mccalls 6758 and a Pokemon safari!

So you know I’m pretty cool, right? I mean, of my siblings I’ve definitely the coolest and if asked, I’d say generally people will grudgingly admit that I do not act like a mature, reliable adult. That’s really code for cool. I know.

Part of what makes me so fabulous is my constant up to the minute knowledge of pop culture and what is going on up in here.For Shizzle sticks.

This morning I finished working on Mccalls 6758. It’s OOP, but I’ll probably bring it back by popular demand with my trend setting skills, right? Yup. I only use my powers for good, thankfully. I was headed out to the downtown area to take pictures in the same classy pose as the cover model:


Yeah, it’s a great pose for helping someone understand the pattern and design features, right?  Nix that. I’m going to to multi-task. Some local skater kids were playing Pokemon Go and I decided to join them. They were very helpful- they could see immediately what an asset I was to their training team.


So I took their advice and headed out to a field they said was very popular with the rarer beasts and set out to ‘Catch ’em all!’ as the hip say.


Now, about this dress- it has 3 seams up the front and it has a nice little nip to the waist- not truly fitted- I still managed to skip the back zip, but comfortably fitted. I used a painted homespun iridescent cotton I got on a Mary Jo’s trip- I thought this dress had a nice almost military shape to it and the green worked for my vision.

Oh, I think I hear one now- wait- crap! I lost him?!


This collar is a puzzle to me- it lays on sort of a convex angle. I can’t see anyone elses well enough to see if I’m just weird. I tried it several ways and just ended up going convex. IS that a word?


Well, I’m happier with my dress that I am with my new hobby. The kids said I should let them hold my phone, because the pokemon are frightened of the cellular waves and that my net would catch more. So far I’ve seen 3 squirrels. I may never level up.


Being an arbiter of style and trend is hard and hungry work, my people.


photo credits: little me,. pattern review. All images remain the property of the original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Damir Doma

Yes, lets get a nice biblet to protect this fine outfit from the BBQ.


When I move, I never ask Wanda to get the shower curtain set up for me.


Its thunderdome office casual.


Damn  it, I want the shoes.


This that a thread hanging from the edge of her totally unhemmed jammies? These have no edge finish at all! Anywhere?! Mind blown!


This years Met Gala theme: Snuffalumpagus!


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of the original owners.

Burda 7204- sneaky sleeves

This summer I’ve sewn more than I’ve blogged- I’ve actually sewn lots of staple things to wear to work, but mostly things that bore me, so blogging them is not very appealing to me.


You know the type- basics that you just can’t make exciting, but need to own. Perhaps you’ve noticed I keep trying to find other things to blog besides a thrilling 520 words on my new beige capri pants!

I do have a textile victim to display today- Tho I’m not as happy as I could be! You’ll see.


Cute, pleaty, breezy- so comfortable. Throw on a belt- becasue that slight nip in featured on the tech drawing- I never found that! It’s a maxi maxi thing! Perfect for the blazing summer in the south.

I slaved over this. Truly.

I was squeezing out the fabric to get the length and breadth it required.

I hand adjusted and planned the pleats on Ms Holloway to account for my slopiness.

I  changed thread 3 times trying to get the least visible top stitching effect. You know I like to color in my white thread if it is too prominent- my brown fabric marker was not this kind of brown, dang it?!

I redid the bias tape on the armscyes more than once.

Was this dress worth it? I’m still not sure. It wrinkles on sight- I swear I ironed it- I may not have couture skills, but I can apply heat to fabric! Ok, enough complaining- here goes:


Here I am in the unforgiving sun of Mr B’s hops gallows area. I’m hoping the chevrons are busy enough to forgive some lack of fabric mismatched areas!


It’s giving me a lovely pigeonbreast effect as I peek from behind the hops…. this sun is very bright- it’s made me look even more dainty than usual- even a bit washed out- like this right sleeve- what- WTF?????!


Seriously?! I honestly got done, gave it a bit of the iron, found my Betsey Johnson carrot necklace, hit the yard and NOW I  see the right sleeve is inside out. ARRGH?!


I can’t believe my assistant let this happen. The neighbors may have seen me stomping around the yard shaking my chubby fist at fate and wailing- maybe they never noticed…


Ok, I’m going back inside now to decide if I can bring myself to remove the sleeve binding ONE MORE TIME and fix this epic tragedy. Have a lovely sunday all. It’s my Fathers Birthday- so eat some cake, m’kay?



photo credits: pattern review, little me. All images remain the property of the original owner.

Wearable Wednesday Miu Miu

Slumber Party at the asylum!


Where do I start? Are there only 20 pictures because everyone is wearing 3 outfits? Does Rainbow Brite know her shoes are missing?


Look at the t-shirts we made at Camp!


…and then the alarms went off and we had to run out of the hotel wearing whatever we could grab!


Stay off drugs, kids.


Don’t worry Margo- no one will know this is our first time at Coachella!


Preying Mantis flappers?


I really NEED the Tay-Swift squad to show up somewhere like this.


Is she steaming her bits on that radiator?


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of the original owners.

Sartorial Screenings 2-Born To Be Bad!

This week Olivia DeHavilland turned 100! Today we honor her by focusing on the work of her sister Joan Fontaine- the little hussy!

Our film is BORN TO BE BAD. The 1950 story of a blonde who scanks her way to the top!

This is Donna- she is a charming good hearted gal who is always careful to protect her crisp white blouses with a matronly smock while working. She also clips coupons and wears sensible mid heels.


She will marry a millionaire next week and all of her dreams will come true. OF course.

Donna is planning a massive party with the help of her poor but loyal friend Gabby- he’s a starving painter so he has to do catering jobs on the side- stay in school kids, stay in school. You can tell he is devil may care because of his Eddie Haskell jacket.


Hurray Donna! You have canapes to make and a life of well-meaning acts to get to. Whoopsie! Watch out for that ominous event coming, Donna!


Cue the organ music! young wholesome Christabel, who is coming to sublet the apartment is here a day early!


Oh my- she feels awful about arriving the day of your society party!  She says she’ll just go find a park bench to curl up on and hope no mashers find her innocent flesh enticing. born5

Christabel immediately charms anything in her vicinity! Don’t be fooled Gabby- she’s trouble!


Don’t worry, Donna- Christabel knows you are busy- she’ll just find something to do and stay out of your dowdy cargo robe wearing way.


Hours later, Donna adds last minute paprika sprinkles to the pigs in a blanket and Curtis her fiance arrives! He is not really a young Walt Disney- he just has that lip thing like him. Donna has donned a flashy gown and ever practical- low heels and a gingham apron. Assuming that gingham is a turn on for Curtis.


He leaves her to make himself a fancy pink squirrel cocktail and who does he find?


Donna! Come quickly!!!


Well, Curtis tries desperately to operate the phone and find another ticket for the premiere they were to attend with Christabel as the 3rd slutty wheel.


No dice! All the seats at Hamilton were sold out months ago. But thats ok, Christabel will stay here and plot while you are gone. Have a good time kids!


At the party, Christabel meets another of Donnas platonic hangers on. A young writer with no money. Christabel is turned off my his wallet, yet intrigued by his butt.


Writer boy and Christabel snog on the side- but she makes no bones about her hot pursuit of wealthier game. He thinks she will let her heart and loins rule the day- he is soo naive.


Christabel poses for Gabby Non’Montalban and hides from her aunt and uncle who know she’s trouble, run in the same social circles, attend the same parties, appear to be legally responsible for her- but just leave phone messages for her alot. Oh, and the aunt appears to be kind of dying or something- but the will isn’t a plot point, so Christabel isn’t so concerned. born15

Gabby finds her a challenge to paint- she keeps skanking off to meet Curtis- claiming he dropped his slide rule or she has a message for him. He is totally fooled. But Donna is starting to wake up and smell the hot cup of crapaccino Christabel keeps trying to serve her. But being polite, she lets it keep going.


Christabel has no time for poor people stuff- Curtis has asked her to meet him at a jewelry store. She thinks its to buy her a trollope offering, but no- he wants advise on what to buy Donna as an engagement present. The store is all out of plaid!


Christabel almost blows Mission: Wealth SUCK when she can’t handle Curtis wanting to buy some serious rocks for Donna-she tries to dissuade him into buying a little ‘I Like Ike’ button and some russell stovers, but he goes for the jewelers choice- offering to buy Christabel the trinket she suggested as a thank you gift. She grinds her molars and keeps quiet.



Well, this is a long movie! Lets buzz ahead- Donna starts to doubt her love for Curtis- because she likes his stuff alot. She martyrs out and leaves him in the clutches of Christabel- and clutch she does.  They marry in haste and and she presses his disney-stache to her only slightly repulsed lips as often as she can tolerate for the greater good of all his cash! He runs into Donna at Gabbys latest starving artist show at the Dave & Busters parking lot. He is still smitten and starting to emerge from the skank-haze of Christabel. But he is married! Donna is not that kind!She has nobility of spirit and lapels to keep her warm.

born20  Christabel has the novelist- who’s gotten a publisher! His advance makes him even hunkier. Donna and her old boarder have a come to Jesus meeting!


born22Christabel knows she has the upperhand- the one with the wedding band on it- but her lust for writer boy is making her sloppy!

bornm22Curtis is slowly starting to think Christabel is filling her day with charity events and writer humping to avoid him- he tries desperately to get her back to the woman she thought she was when they were courting- even tho that woman didn’t really like him much either, but hey, whatever- that Christabael didn’t avoid him.

born23 Ah, writer boys book is out and its a scorcher!


This weekend after the charity party for debutantes without frenulums, Curtis plans a long weekend at their country estate overlooking the Matterhorn- he hopes to rekindle the flames of his lame marriage. Christabel hopes to escape to see her favorite author for a naked book signing at a bed and breakfast.



As soon as the party ends, Christabel peels it for the sex cabin and her writer beau! Meanwhile:


Uh, oh! Christabel tries to sneak back home and act like she doesn’t smell like moist bookbindings and English Leather! But Curtis is onto her! Where have you been, Trollope!


Auntie died earlier today while you claim you were plumping her pillows! Who’s pillows did you plump, Christabel???


Well, Christabel flies to Reno, establishes residency and fights her prenup while working a topless dive off the strip. Writer boy?


And Donna?


All is right with the world and plaid triumphs!


photo credits: little me with a TCM assist. All images must be treated respectfully, as I have.