Fine. I’ll attend your bourgeois celebration of pilgrim death and commercialism at Nanas.
But I’m bringing Pablo.
…and he only eats raw foods blessed by his priestess. So she needs a place to put her incense burner and netti pot.
Oh great, I can’t find the napkin rings- Wanda!?
Has anyone seen Grannies lace tablecloth? I’m looking at you, Fiona!
Oh joy- cousin Buster escaped from prison for Thanksgiving dinner! He can shank the turkey for us!
Quincy, I’m sorry, Uncle Louie is in the only bathroom- can you hold it?
Travis brought his new girlfriend- I can’t get a handle on her, she’s some kind of Bluestocking Guerrilla militant- just be pleasant, ok?
No, I did NOT put your leather pants in with the towels- it is not my fault- shouldn’t you be doing your own laundry???
Listen abacus nipples! That outfit may fly at your other grandmothers, but over here, we cover it up or you’ll be forced to wear one of Granddads old Nixon for re-election tshirts!
Photo credits: vogue.com