Wearable Wednesday Lisa Marie Fernandez


‘OH she’s perfect! Go talk to her- get her to sign the release and keep the fee low!’‘what? She wants 50 sardines? Is that hipster slang?’ ‘she’s digging for dingle-what’s? Who cAres- the pose is hot!’‘ok, breaks over- where is she? She’s talking to the gulls about her Father? Um. Ok.’‘look, we’re losing the light- can you wrangle her in?’‘the sea is calling her? Great, great- whatever keeps the mood going-‘‘well, if she wants to be where the people are, tell her to get her ass back over here!?’‘what do you mean she ate the fish whole? That’s not possible.’‘A crab told her she had to go?’‘Hey! You can’t keep that skirt! It’s photo shoot property! Hey! Hey!’Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Roberto Cavalli


Please pull the ripcord and let the model reinflate.

Susan Dey was last seen leaving a Benedict Canyon motor lodge in this outfit. Papparrazzi are quite excited about this dress and the many starlets trying to get out of their cars drunk. This is like a Buck Rodgers villain evening dress- Ming the Mercillous has 3 on order.

I don’t know what’s going on here, but you’re in a cult- call your Dad.Lace and Snakes was the worst reptile and craft store idea ever. Never could get business insurance. well, it does look comfortable. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Alice McCall


Is the collar attached to anything? I can’t tell wear the soufflé ends and the tacky startsI had these placemats.is resort wear just impractical Coachella frocks?Or the castoffs of old back up dancers?hi do like a floral- that’s lined.This is so FanningHuh. fannypack?

For that Dead or Alice reunion!

Photo credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Dalood


Cat appreciation Level: 50

Ugh- I can’t even keep the front of a blouse tucked in and the back untucked without looking like I was peeing when the fire drill started. This is too much of a challenge!?

If Mom jeans return, can the Quacker Factory sweaters be far behind? My mother in law is going to be sooo happy!oh Lord, what if she gets me one!?This fall on the CW- the all female reboot of S E Hintons ‘The Outsiders’!You can assure Mission Control- none of the alien life forms were returned to earth with the shuttle- all is contained!what was Mortician to think? Gomez had never looked at another- yet here was the upstairs maid leaving the aviary at 3am looking so suspicious!?she just looks sad because she cannot scratch her nose. Photo credits: Vogue.com

I dreamed I was abducted by aliens in Simplicity 8125


 

Burda2Remember me? I used to blog! Ok, well, I’d like to tell you a fancy tale about pirates, ninjas and a ring of Beanie Baby knock off smugglers and an international chase with cable cars, but……..I got nothing. Honestly, I just got lazy. Once I got out of the habit of taking pictures after each first wear- it snowballed and I just never got back to it! But alas, I’ve missed the adoration of the masses, the community, the feeling of kinship with other people who don’t just stare blankly when I rhapsodize over my joy at self- facings. Burda3

So here I am! Back in the yard while Mr B is off at Beer Club. It’s a thing. What separates it from alcoholism is the bumper sticker. It’s Mead night. I think that involves horned helmets and lots of braided beards. I’ve politely declined my breastplate opportunity.

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By the by- this is the exact face I made during gym class. Bewildered and not sure where the ball was. We have a new (to us) Pup-pup. Please met Jas-mini! She is our rescue dog- we found a black and Tan Dapple Dachsie at the local Petsmart/Humane society event and as they say in the war movies- NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND! So. Lets get this party started. Mini is a fetching machine and this dress looks lovely in motion. I know this because everytime I walked to the cafeteria in it, I got compliments. It gently swirled about me as I bent into the ice cream cooler. can I get some love for my excellent match of shoe and textile? I mean really!

So Mini will fetch while I toss the yellow bone and tell you about my stellar work on this Franken-pattern. We proceed.

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I’ve had simplicity 8125 for a very long time. It’s OOP and hasn’t gotten much love on Pattern review. One review in a pretty floral. I chose the longest version with the little flippy awning sleeves. But I have issues. That seam down the front- can I be saved from that? How about that back seam? You know I’m no fan of the back seam- if I can weasel in without a zip- I am weaselin’! So I trotted to the vault where good fabric waits for bad ideas. I found 2 lovely challis prints that Fabricmart made me buy and when I held them up together for Mr B- he plotzed. I assured him- or tried to that it was a great idea! He was beyond uncertain. Normally that would make me pause and question, but I WANTED THIS!!!! So Bruder and I retreated to the sewingroom to shake our little fists and rue stuff.

Oh! Do you know what this needs???? A overskirt! So I stole the overskirt piece from Burda 6944 – a pattern I bought when the Hancock fabric was closing and I was on a spree. I think I saved enough of the original concept to make the top half almost recognizable- almost? Sort of? IMG_1380 (1)

Once I was in square handkerchief frenzy- I decided to add a triangle of the contrast fabric to the center of each sleeve awning. By the way, pattern placement failed me. I liked to see the little birds, but I kept seeing one out of the corner of my eye and the white splash was jarring. I’m easily distracted.

Once I got this all together, we had a cold snap. Seriously. A cold snap in SC. So this stayed on Ms Holloway the dress form for a week or two and I felt like it was calling out- ‘Hey! I’m not busy enough!’ so I added some copper-toned bits of business to satisfy my inner crow. Finally the weather cleared up and we are back to the 1 hour of spring we get every year before it turns to a back fat blistering southern hell. Action shot- I’m moving so fast, everything but Bruder is a blur!

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Mini? May I ask why you are refuses to get into camera range? You aren’t Garbo you little snot- get back over here and be cute so one of us is coo-worthy! Burda4

Min-Min, come here, precious! Bring the drool soaked yellow bone to Mama! Come here pretty girl! Go get her Bruder! Ok, just lay down.

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Why do I try to organize you beasties?! I swear- none of you are earning the kibble!

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photo credits: little me, Pattern Review

Wearable Wednesday Roland Mouret


Not hanger appeal- but jungle gym appeal-

Sweep the leg!Squish, pop, six, Cicero!My Father used to make me do all kinds of moves to see if my jeans fit before he bought them. So does Roland.

This was my yearbook pose. I was totally obsessed with the Bangles. I asked for 2 pages.Kanye is surprisingly lithe this morning.Vogue will have this pattern- 45 pieces and a missing instruction page. I think I miss runway shoots in warehouses. these cuffs both amuse and annoy me. Ok, please just stand still, m’kay? It’s hard to snark a moving target. Photo credits: Vogue.com