8th grader rant ahead:
Ugh. I always hated those girls who half wore sweaters and jackets like they were so tiny and elfin- you suck Deborah Hagopian and Denise Mizerik! Get some shoulders-and invite me to your parties!
Giraffe crotch is my new secret insult. 
Nope! My new favorite secret insult is Crusted Dickey!
What exactly are we seeing? A shirt? A coat? A shirt coat? A coated shirt? An old A-Ha video shoot??
I’m having some deep feelings toward this coat tho. 
So if she twists the knit tubetop just right- do the cheetahs connect and open a mystical bellybutton portal?
I just know Rhianna is going to wear this duster to dinner with nothing else on at some point!?
‘Welcome to Dynergy! A synergistic encounter forum! Who’s ready to feel the power of retail???’
I want 5 yards of this Immediately. 
I’ll just go and strain something.
photo credits: Vogue.com
Pretty Grievances 
Hmmm… I just don’t know. Not too ridiculous but not my style at all. I love the yellow cheetah fabric but not the cut of that top.
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Now you know I love a loud print- but these are distracting!
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Perhaps I want to be distracting. If I can’t get attention because I’m gorgeous I can at least get attention because I’m tacky and tasteless. š
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Well, yeah- thatās what my mama taught me!
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What will you make with your five yards? So curious
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So many thoughts….
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The power of retail! You crack me up.
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I think that was a jumpsuit!
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“Crusted Dickey” is going onto my list of Worst Ice Cream Flavors Ever.
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Ben and Jerryās Crusted Dickey is a limited time release in pints and cones!
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It’s right up there with Wilted Wattle and Okra Three-Way. There are 42 other entries on the list.
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The okra 3 way is only good if eaten right away. It cannot sit!
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Well, you have truly arrived when you see your name in lace š
I want that giraffe/monkey/cheetah fabric!!!
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Itās the highest sartorial accolade if you donāt get an HermĆØs bag!
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Crusted dickey and jumbled cheetah both just look like knitting accidents to me… and yes, if any of my crotches ended up looking like these I’d be ripping things out to try again. Okay – while I’m trying to imagine uses for five yards of the leg fabric (which I admit to not being much charmed by) I was only coming up with curtains for a man den except I would be that indulgent of little boy men… but then I thought of having the curtains be Under some somber over curtain in the bedroom so it looks all formal in the day but at night one pulls back the over curtains, folds back the top blanket, turns on the lurid purple lights… like naughty underwear under a suit. Not that I’d Do it, mind… but still the charm grows.
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Would not. Would not be that indulgent… though obviously imagining indulging an inner harlot hold some appeal…
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Iām thinking I like the idea more than its practicality-
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I NEEDS THE GIRAFFE COAT MY PRECIOUS!
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Ready to fight Rhi-Rhi?
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I could take her…
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…and would rather enjoy it lol
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I snorted….
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oooh I think I will too mwahahahahaha she says it tickles
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That leg print should be made into a pajama set,a robe, and some bed sheets ASAP lol
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Oh yes!!!
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Crusted Dickey is a Brit favorite, on the menu right after Spotted Dick and Bubble and Squeak!
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Thatās right! Crusted Dickey has the brĆ»lĆ©e topping!
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I want to be elfin enough to half wear my cardi please, then you can all come to my parties, wearing leg print of course.
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Will you wear a cat ear headband and high ponytail like Ariana Grande??
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Ps. Thereāll be lots of Crusted Dickey ice cream.
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With extra sprinkles???
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Imagine exceptional placement of those chopped bent legs emanating from the crotch or maybe even the backside of a pair of pants. Woohoo, the hilarity!
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The hits just keep on coming!
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Nothing fits! The pants with the crusted Dickie look like they could fall off.
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Trying to escape a crusting?
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