I dreamed I was a Hand Puppet in my Butterick 6359


Connie, Connie, Connie. Why is there only one review of this out there? It didn’t even get a picture. Sigh.

6359

Here I am, Saint Annelicious- The patron Saint of Bad Textile Ideas. Bless me Father for I have used much foul language, violence against inanimate objects and post-sew snacks.

I have a wearable dress, but……. only from this angle.

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I work in a healthcare setting- so I try to avoid anything that looks Scrubby or closes with a self-fabric tie. But, every foolish plan has it’s day, you knows?

*Trivia note: the Husband thinks that prolonged uninterrupted sewing is an indication that things are going well. Machine start and stop is an indication of struggle and doom. Weird, right? I learned from my Mother that screams of ‘GOD BLESS AMERICA!’ and ‘DIRTY BIRD?!’ indicated struggle and doom and that kids, it was time to play outside- perhaps in another state.

So, this pattern has a LOT of straight swathes of stitching. Great tracts of straight stitching. I basically made myself curtains. That should have been my first clue of a problem. What plus-sized or other pattern has a completely flat-show a Drive in Movie- ‘oh Look, Rory Calhoun!’  on it shapeless back? Or side panels with no darts or shaping?  A giant hospital gown does. Perfect. My dream. It is pretty bedpan friendly.

Deceptive pattern picture girl probably has a giant clamp on the back like she’s just said yes to the dress Atlanta. Look at that front fold- it’s my new enemy.  It clings and puddles in the back and sways like an opera curtain in front. I pinched out about 3. inches tapering out of the skirt on the front pieces and its like the fabric is all rushing to meet me in front. Obviously it doesn’t know how charming I am.

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But I never know when to give up, do I?  Just ask any of my husbands!

I tapered, I angled, I chopped away at this dress like Vidal Sassoon on poor Rosemary.

sassoon_farrow

I hate fabric ties, so I had already decided to change the outer one to a sassy button. Then I got really frisky and changed the inner one to a wide bit of elastic. I did use the bias pattern guides to finish off the neck edges, I just cut off and tucked the ends in.   

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Ok, now I’m happy straight on. BUT, when I turn to the side- either one- there is a giant problem with that back- it’s dragging, it’s creating an upper butt puddle of fabric. a lovely over the tush valance of drapy horror. YAY! I tried fish-eye darts- vertical ones. It created a serious pulling drag feature on the sides. Like the ultimate cage match between who needed more of the bedclothes- Goldilocks or the 3 bears. The 3 Bears sadly were my breasts and paunch.

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Connie, you are truly concerned with my arm hole gaps, but you don’t seem concerned with my butt puddling?!

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So I just kept pinning until I could gather enough out and still be ok with it. I ended up with a horizontal tuck across the shoulder blades. So call it a wearable muslin or a design detail. Whatevs. I’ve given it more of my life force that I think I should have, Connie?!

So next hurdle. I wore this to work and had to make 2 emergency trips to the ladies to secure the 3 bears. Pictures taken during neighbors coming home from work- whats so weird about me trying to show my nethers to a peach tree in my yard, can you answer me that???butt6

You get lots of very convenient scratching opportunities in a wrap dress. Have pointer, will satisfy!

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Oh, by the way, if you get the fancy idea to do it with a sheer contrast, that skirt panel is sheer to the upper thigh- so you can have the se-xxxy hospital gown you see in the porn films. ‘Nurse Janet- the patent seems agitated! Do what you can to soothe them!!’

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photo credits: Pattern Review, Little me.

39 thoughts on “I dreamed I was a Hand Puppet in my Butterick 6359

  1. Agnes Cleary says:

    I salute you who have given so much that the rest of us might avoid B6395! I mourn the tragic waste of such wonderful fabric. LOVE that mesh kind of flowery number. Much too good for post-op. As a great man once said “Sad”. I’ve never been much drawn to Connie Crawford patterns. I find many of them try too hard, like a spinster aunt trying to impress the teens by saying “Rad” and insisting she has Kanye on her playlist.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I love your fabric choices and it doesn’t look bad in the pictures but I totally understand wearability issues are a whole ‘nother thing. So sorry it’s not working for you.

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  3. tinarathbone says:

    Would it work in all solids … the same fabric, as in the model pic? Slightly longer sleeves, perhaps, and maybe find a fitting buddy to help with the back, and any other issues.
    With affection,
    Tina in San Diego

    Like

      • tinarathbone says:

        I do think I’d give it another go. Do you have a source for hand-dyed fabrics? A good quilting guild or store could point you to some dye artists. You’d end up with high-quality cotton, though … it might not drape as you’d prefer. I’m thinking a very thin cotton lawn. Maybe died with a Shibori pattern? And, personally, I’d keep the tie. It appears to be a partial tie.
        If you do venture back in, I hope to hear all about it!
        I love your presence in my life via your posts,
        Tina

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Connie Turner says:

    Just burn that pattern and try to recycle the fabric cause the fabric is great. I had a similar fail with a wrap pattern that was a top. It had no shaping and when I sat down it bunched up and fell open to show the girls. I burned it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I like it – really – and like your take way more than the plain turquoise, but equally know the feeling of ‘gee didnt look like that it my head’ as i sew vintage patterns at times and think those hand drawn skinny illustrated ladies genuinely illustrate what the dress is like on the real me!!! anyway I have always felt if you are comfortable in what you wear then it wears well on you ——

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    • That’s such a good point. Yesterday I was very comfortable, but felt like the dress was wearing me.
      Connie’s fashion drawings for this on Pinterest are even more discouraging- it floats around and frisks and lies!!

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  6. Oh dear! If you’re the patron saint of bad textile ideas, I am Siobhanius, patron saint of poor fabric-pattern matches. I WILL MAKE THIS QUILTING COTTON WORK FOR A DRAPEY RAYON TOP.

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  7. Before I read this I thought the pattern looked great. Your fabric choices are much better than plain imo, but your paragraph about flat dartlessness sent shivers down my spine. I’m surprised you got such a good fit from any angle. Some things are not meant to be.

    Like

    • For a long time it felt like the plus sized big 4 patterns were just scaled up dateless versions of the misses. Criminal. We need shape, angles and such too! I don’t see my own stuff to wear what the fashion industry thinks suits me!?

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  8. Janet says:

    I love it and fabric combining is wonderful. Darts really are our friend, but it is so hard when “everyone” seems to be looking so chic without them. I love your posts! Keep sharing and oversharing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Emily says:

    Boomers – you need some old-fashioned bloomers under that baby so you can still walk fast down the halls without wondering who you’ve just flashed with the under bun curve bit… I was liking the way the first photo looked, but I do see the peek a boo problem. So many fashions need one to be able to stand very very still all day.

    Like

  10. birdmommy says:

    I had been planning to go pick up this pattern tonight, since it’s stupidly hot out and I thought it would be good in pink linen. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways – it would definitely have looked like I’d escaped from inpatient procotology if I went out and about in it.

    Like

  11. If you made it again using drapey rayon fabrics and making that alteration on the paper pattern to shorten the back length, it might work. Love your fabric choices though and making flat fabric wrap around a real body is a challenge without some sort of darts and good seaming. You tried your best and it shows!

    Like

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