Parents, Faculty and honored guests! Welcome to this years Spring recital! The Enid Bainbridge School of Charm, Vocal and Baton is very excited to show you the class of 2018! First up is our valedictorian Pansy Ellis singing a medley of Roberta Flack and Janis Ian songs!
Brava! Next up is Ariel Payton and her flaming Baton performing to the theme from ‘Sweet Charity!’ Watch that scarf Ariel- you don’t want a repeat of the event from the preview!
Alice Whittier will now recite the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner while demonstrating how to load and unload an assault rifle- lets hear it for Alice!
Barbara Cummings will now dance the Chacha ‘real smooth’ as the kids say to her brother Alec on his lute!
Tho just beginning her studies here, Keisha Tipton is more than accomplished at her musical saw and roller skating tango!
Is everyone ready for a treat? Eunice Wiley will now perform Send In the Clowns while wrestling a baby alligator! Don’t worry- Eunice is a pro and won’t miss a note! 
So sad, Velveta Clark is unable to perform her selections from Hamilton! on the bassoon- but Pansy Ellis’s Mom insists its no trouble for her to perform another lovely selection for us- this time selections from Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gifts from the Sea.
What a talented bunch of young Ladies and we are so proud! Now for our finale- we’d love all of the alumni to join us as Lula Preston honors our founder with a blues rendition of ’10 cents a dance!’ the original motto of our studio! 
photo credits: Vogue.com
Pretty Grievances 
There’s a lot to be disturbed about here, but I think the tinselly thing in the background is the most malevolent!
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I’m concerned that might be Enid Bainbridge!
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Whatever’s going on with that tinsel thing, all of the models look like they are trying hard not to react to being goosed by it…
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That’s the designer doing last minute tweaks as they pass
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You are hilarious. Love the names.
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Buying the printed souvenir program helped.
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Your commentary makes them all come to life! What’s going on with the last dress? It’s like 20 something below the hips and 90 yr old saggy boob lady above.
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It’s like the last act of that Barry Manilow song about Lola the showgirl….
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Right?! I was going to say something about that one but you nailed it.
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😂😂 I am concerned whether that last one is a very high slit in her skirt or short pants attached or what? Just two flaps hanging off a mini dress? Very funny commentary today! 😂😂
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I’d say she got something stuff in her underpants if models were givenundeepants!
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Aw, man! It started out rather strong, despite the top of the yellow dress. But by pic #3 I could tell it was all going to fall apart.
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Pieces you can’t even gather in a bucket….
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Why is Cousin It in the background?
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I don’t know but he’s very formal!
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Cousin IT in full DISCO attire = COOL! Love!! I was doing OK till the last pic…hmmrrrm…saw the *breezeway* and first thought was: ‘reminds me of Arches Natl. Park’ hahaha https://www.nationalparktripsmedia.com/parks/arches-national-park – see the photo! Thanks for the fun respite from my daily drudge. 😀
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Couldn’t stop giggling, thanks for an amusing interlude. I’m so looking forward to seeing Alice getting to grips with a howitzer next year.
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Alice is such a pro!!
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Um, doesn’t Keisha Tipton have a bit more tip than seems quite normal or are my eyes deceiving me? Perhaps she feels a bit breezy but can’t check for certain past that orange thing at her throat…
Lula Preston could have moved her flower south to great advantage. When a skinny little model looks like she birthed a hippo the day before and there are strain lines on the fabric where the stitching (finally) meets, then this is not only frumpy design but pathetic sewing.
The commentary elevates the whole.
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Be-bop a Lula and her elephant baby!
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Eunice is wearing a dress from the 90’s in velvet polka dots on cheap taffeta…the “must have” for the prom back then before fashion went really slutty. Speaking of slutty, this whole collection could be renamed that.
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It’s like the Forever 21 basement sale.
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What the frock is that blue thing at the end? The ruching? The gapey thigh gap thing! Most unpleasant.
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It’s like the worst ‘didn’t notice things were tucked into my paunch panel’ moment.
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Eunice (? black grey polka dot dress) has almost the exact dress as a Daisy Kingdom pattern my mother made me once when I was a little girl…I loved that dress, NGL.
And IIRC, the pattern envelope for that pattern had the dress in hot pink & lime green polka dots for the views, which is actually what triggered the memory.
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Oh no! I should have had trigger warnings on this one!
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All caps here: THE PROPORTIONS ARE TERRIBLE. THE REASON THEY USED TO BE BETTER-PROPORTIONED IN THE EARLIER VERSIONS THESE ARE RIPPED OFF FROM: BECAUSE THOSE WERE MUCH MORE FLATTERING TO THESE NICE FIT BODIES WHICH LOOK LIKE LUMPS AND PILES AND DROOPS INSTEAD OF ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE. Yuck. Like prom dresses from decades ago that don’t fit and haven’t been made to fit–
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Preach it!
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Lula, whatever you do, DON’T sit down! This is not a gynecology tutorial. In a truly sad a bizarre line-up of garments, it’s very telling that Barbara’s Cha-Cha dress actually looks not-so-terrible by comparison!
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love the final song 10c a dance (studio motto) – brilliant line up and commentary. that tinsel ‘thing’ was moving so it really felt like a school recital with someone chosen to play the plant…… I was also reminded of my nieces 8 year birthday when all her little friends got up to do their party pieces. One girl did my bonnie lies over the ocean – with the original words (swaying happily singing ‘I dreamt my bonnie was dead’)…. we still talk about her performance!
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There is nothing like a classic!
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