Wearable Wednesday Burberry


Do you, or someone you know seek a legal settlement from a polar bear? Call Emory&Fields- South Pole Attorneys!

I wonder what they did with all the props when George Lucas quit….. McCall’s has this pattern with a matching deer stalker hat….for dogs.Girls, never travel without at least one pad. ‘Nough said. I’m sorry I’m late. I got stuck on the elevator. Reports are coming in that noted circus performers have defected! Authorities are still puzzling over how they avoided detection.Ron Weasley wasn’t the only one with a hand me down robe. Wait- stop. Is this a parka with crotch snaps????? Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Fendi


Fendi baffles me. Do I hate it? Do I want to

Embrace the Pollyanna wears a moving blanket vibe?

-I’ve always thought that my purse needed it’s own purse.

I hear that in the very posh VIP lounges they provide jammies. Tho that may change since Gwyneth has been caught stealing them….

Upgrade me or I will jump!! I mean it!!

Fendi- you’re like a bad boyfriend- you keep sucking me in with little glimpses of charm.Then the pants come off.

This blouse combo has a high chafing rating. prove me wrong- denim is not lux. This looks like Mr Furly. Project Runway presents: Grannies Boudoir unconventional challenge! Best Oasis album cover ever! where’s my mace?! Photo credits: Vogue. Com

Wearable Wednesday Monique Lhuillier


So you have to work the New Years? Why not just wear your party gown and celebrate there?

Oh. The cafeteria isn’t opening the hot bar? Could I get a grilled ch- no? Ok. I’ll find a yogurt.

Now Mrs Phillips- as you heal from your hip replacement, I want you to do these simple exercises every morning. Hands on hips…..

Jordan? Alice Jordan? I’m here to take you to the MRI area……Ok, you know the drill- wipe front to back with the towelette, tinkle a little in the toilet then finish the stream in the sterile cup….Mr Bennet? I’m here to take you to surgery. This is Parnell, she’s my PA. Good morning Ma’am. I’m here from financial counseling to help you with your short term disability forms. Damn. No pockets. Do you have a pen?

Welcome to St Parsimonious Regional. Looks like you need to take the blue elevator to the 3rd floor and turn left at the neonatal desk. who schedules meetings on a holiday? Where’s my clipboard? Wait? You’re leaving early? Can I leave too?? No? Oh, ok. No big deal…..Photo credits- vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Stine Goya


Ah, the holidays. When you drink enough to let your cousin cutting your hair seem like a good plan.st5

Oh, no Hester- she got to you??

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I can’t help in the kitchen, I sadly have pink eye. st2

Oh, yeah me too.

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It’s like a plague this year, totally.

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Fine. I’ll sieve the gravy with Aunt Betty. I wore an outfit that covers all my tattoos. st4

Ugh, I hear everyone who slept at Cousin Floyds house has pink eye. st10

photo credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Brock Collection


Let’s all pause a moment and think about the plight of models with cramps. Bravely soldiering on thru the pain…Hurry Alice! Drink the other bottle!Oh, that’s where I left my copy of Swann’s Way!Kidney Stones! I think it’s kidney stones!Is her head on backwards?

Are you still cold Enid? Is your blood even flowing?Like a young Kate Hepburn….with Lyme Disease.

For the love of Mr Darcy, can one of the interns loan her a scrunchie so we can see the clothes? Are you huffing Flonase again Enid? We talked about this!?Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Moschino


So I was on the subway this morning…..img_0784

‘I’m so possessive that I rock his Roc necklaces giant ass puffer jacket’

Rosie Perez called- she said you need to return her storage locker keys…..NOWMy husband cringes whenever I attempt a baseball cap- he says it just looks unnatural. I think he sees this.Wear matching track suits to see the Mets she says, it’ll be fun she says. Then she shows up with another guy……NY Transit has come up with an anti-turnstile jumping initiative. After your 2nd offense, you are issued these pants. Northface presents their first collection of prom wear in sassy satin-finish gortex!

Every year thousands of Russian peasant women immigrate to NY to pursue their dreams….. Grandmas vintage Chanel was perfect for Erins new job with just a few adjustments.  Toby was so excited to be invited to the Kardashian pajama party!Hannah felt the chiffon bow blouse was too much for a job interview………Alex wasn’t going to let that Chihuahua that spooked him yesterday from using public transit, he was ready!Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Maria Ke Fisherman


Don’t bother fishing for compliments, Maria. The lake is dry.

Pokeman, please go. Major thigh chafe warning- Is she standing in the worlds most useless tote bag?I think her breastplate is made of recycled fast food drink cup holders and her panties were six pack rings. Nice. well, I think the stripes not matching is the least of the crimes on view here. Do I even need to comment on this knitted rick-rack taste of hell? The new Tron full body maxi pad. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Karla Spetic


Hey, you kids in the back! No plucking jokes!

Some of those Hitchcock cameos are hard to find when you first watch….

Hey lady! You dropped your change…and your keys….and your chapstick, oh never mind!?

As the years wore on, Maid Marion tried anything to get Robins attention.

For sale: only worn once- gave up after it got tangled on the washer pole.

Shipwreck day 33….and I look fabulous!!

Come on Esther- you can’t get around the clear purse rule at work….oh.Springfield’s only sewage treatment company with only female employees feels kind of exploitative. Let me leave you with what I can only think of as a belly button ball gag……Photo-credits: Vogue.com

Sartorial Screenings Cage Match! Wife VS Secretary


Children- we have a cautionary tale of Love, fidelity, hair dye, Gable in a steambath,  and oppulent deco decor!

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It’s a tale as old as time! A moustache as thin as the plot!wi4

Van is a powerful, suave business man- a titan of publishing! He is of course fully supported by his faithful braless clerical support- Whitey! wh1

Whitey is the perfect secretary! She knows business, makes a great soy latte and serves up sass and encouragement! Van is in love with her  NO!! No, no! Van is happily married to this incredible penthouse! wi2

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Oh, wait- the penthouse has a extra bonus! It’s Linda Stanhope- Van’s ever so lucky and fabulous stay at home wife!wi5

Van and Linda are the happiest! 3 glorious years of wealth and amazing gowns! What depression? Van loves to surprise Linda with lovely gifts, too. wi6

Van gives Linda a gorgeous bracelet inside a trout to remember their romantic camping trips. Seriously- the 3rd anniversary is traditionally the ‘scales’ anniversary- look it up! wi14

Linda even gets along with Mother Stanhope- they often lunch together and beat the maids together. But Father Stanhope was a wastrel and Mother Stanhope fears her son has eyes for Whitey!wi17

I’m sorry? Who let you in here? Who are- oh, you’re Whiteys boyfriend Dave. Yeah, good luck with that.

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Van is ready to annex another publishing company! I hope it’s anime- that would be cutting edge! He’s a shark! He knows that if the other company knows he’s circling them, they will raise their price and it’ll be  no-go. Isn’t business thrilling? It’s like Wall Street with less hair product. Let’s listen in on this titan of industry as he plans:

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Van and Linda have a fancy party to celebrate their amazing life! But Van ends up calling Whitey to come over and work late!

It’s a good thing they dress formally for dinner in Flatbush and Whitey is so devoted to her job!

wi13Clearly Linda is the most trusting and fabulous wife with no marital issues. She hasn’t even offered Whitey one of her old bras as a gift. wi20

Dave and Whitey have a glorious time! Dave thinks they need to move their relationship to the next level, but Whitey is a career girl!

A perfect assistant. She watches Mad Money all the time! To keep the plans for the take over of Tiger Beat on the low low Whitey and  Van decide to go make their business calls from the local pharmacy- since Whitey has to pick up more peroxide and nipple petals.

Good secretaries always multi-task!wi9

Very clever Whitey! wi11 Mother Stanhope and Linda are also out buying petals for Mother and stop off for a phosphate at the same pharmacy Oh, seeds of doubt are germinating!! That pharmacy is almost as busy as that phone booth!

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Mother Stanhope needs Linda to wake up! Van is a skirt chasing horndog like his father was! She needs to lock it in with a swiss bank account and some heirs before he knocks up the help! Those are direct quotes. wi10

After a fancy skating party, Linda confronts Van, well sort of, she is doubtful about his relationship with the braless steno-jockey. A fight ensues about replacing Whitey. Honestly, is that the beanie cap of a woman on the prowl?? Ok, maybe he dropped a contact lens.

Van swears that as soon as his big business trip to Havana is over- they’ll go back to fishing and buying statues together and all will be well!wi23

Oh dear! Whitey of the limp ruffles has heard business gossip! Van’s plan could be sunk! She high-tails it to Havana to help Van save the deal!wi25

They work all night! Shoulder to shoulder! Like professionals do! No hankerous in the pankerous!wi24

Meanwhile Dave waits patiently. wi27

Well! The deal gets done and all is well. I wonder if its morning in New York yet? wi28

Uh oh. Linda gets a cold shower that morning when Whitey answers the phone at the hotel! Not good. After all the venom Mother Stanhope has sprayed her with, she is thinking she’s a chump and Whiteys a chippie. Oh dear. Linda decides to leave Van! Well, if Linda is going to drop him, Whitey will catch him. She breaks up with Dave, but makes an attempt to keep wearing a white hat by going to see Linda. Gratuitous amazing bedroom picture! Is that a brass greyhound? Posh to the bosh!!WIFE_VS_SECRETARY_00021

Whitey tells the miffed Linda that no, they hadn’t been involved, but he was a great guy and if Linda didn’t want him, she sure did. So Linda should think about the mistake she’s about to make, because Whitey is getting her track shoes on. wi29

Linda realizes that its better to be with the man she loves and take a chance- maybe never knowing if he is trustworthy, than to be like her bitter Mother in law.

Whitey gives Dave a call. He loves her and he decides to be the bigger man. Honestly, I was hoping he’d run off with Linda.

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photo credits: little me.

Wearable Wednesday Gucci


Ok, after last week I thought I was starting to understand ‘Resort’. Remember Truman Capotes Caligula Pool party? I miss classy events like that. Jodi Foster in Taxi Driver-…and the last in line was Madeline. Carlo was honored to be on the Popes private flight crew. Oh Lumiere! No!!!!Welcome to Little Nero’s. Would you like a booth or a table?I’m so sorry that your kabob was not to your liking, yes, we’ll comp your dessert. No. not even for Mickey. Miss Marple- the teen mysteries!Tarts! And vicars!Celebrities at the airport- they’re just like us!Milo, this is the 3rd time you’ve been late this week- Mrs Phillips is ready for her waxing!

Photo credits: Vogue.com