Wearable Wednesday Alice McCall

Is the collar attached to anything? I can’t tell wear the soufflé ends and the tacky startsI had these placemats.is resort wear just impractical Coachella frocks?Or the castoffs of old back up dancers?hi do like a floral- that’s lined.This is so FanningHuh. fannypack?

For that Dead or Alice reunion!

Photo credits: vogue.com

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone! On this glorious holiday we must take a break from rolling eggs, trying to get that plastic grass out of the vacuum cleaners brush roller, looking for leftover ham recipes and guiltfully clicking by Cecil B deMille Bible classics to watch Hoarders- to visit my favorite place!

Yes! The best Easter Island of all- Helena Bonhams pate. It never fails to dazzle and delight!

I only wish I loved her feet as much as I adore her head….

Why is she never at the Met Gala? Is Sarah Jessica Parker afraid?

If they made a tv show like supermarket sweep where I got 15 minutes in her closet with a shopping cart…..

 I so wish my stylish crazy was as potent as the Hel’ BC!?

Yeah, I’m not feeling like doing the hair today- bring me a horse halter wreath from Ascot, m’kay?

It’s like her hair always needs some sort of security blanket- it cannot be alone.

Safety first, lovelies!

This was a bit of a surprise-

Oh, to be a holiday atop these follicles!

Happy Easter to all!

Photo credits: Pinterest. 

Sunday Safari Links!!

Please go see these gorgeous growling gals!!!! I love floral and animal print combos- they are very dear to my gaudy heart!



I want this cardigan!!!!

Itch to Stitch Paro Cardigan

Ladies, you are all awesome!!!! Your feline femme powers are on stun and the judges give you ‘2 Claws up!’

Saturday Serengeti Strut!

Good Morning Denizens of the Sartorial Jungle! I’d like to dive right in today with a frisky little number in zebra from cdhar2 on Pattern Review! Its the Cleo pinafore and I’m really thinking I need one too! How cute is she in this??? Thank you for letting me share it!


Pennylibrarian is back! Please remember to send all excess fabric straight to me!!!! MEEE!!!


Grr- pet, pet! I need this dress, Thimberlina!!


I love me some tropical jungle prints- Siobhan needs a mai tai right away after her hard work on this!!


Linda– you are making me so proud with your cats!!


Oh Fadanista– you had me at props!Extra points for the hat!!


Last week the every so sassy Artfulblasphemer shared her saturday shopping goals and it was all a jungle princess could hope for!! Check it out!

Remember Ladies- it’s up to us to inspire others and keep cheetah out of the wrong paws!


photo credits: Pattern review, Penny Librarian, Fadanista, Siobhan,Linda, Thimberlina!All images remain the property of their original owners.

Wearable Wednesday Miu Miu

Slumber Party at the asylum!


Where do I start? Are there only 20 pictures because everyone is wearing 3 outfits? Does Rainbow Brite know her shoes are missing?


Look at the t-shirts we made at Camp!


…and then the alarms went off and we had to run out of the hotel wearing whatever we could grab!


Stay off drugs, kids.


Don’t worry Margo- no one will know this is our first time at Coachella!


Preying Mantis flappers?


I really NEED the Tay-Swift squad to show up somewhere like this.


Is she steaming her bits on that radiator?


photo credits: style.com. All images remain the property of the original owners.

Sartorial Screenings 2-Born To Be Bad!

This week Olivia DeHavilland turned 100! Today we honor her by focusing on the work of her sister Joan Fontaine- the little hussy!

Our film is BORN TO BE BAD. The 1950 story of a blonde who scanks her way to the top!

This is Donna- she is a charming good hearted gal who is always careful to protect her crisp white blouses with a matronly smock while working. She also clips coupons and wears sensible mid heels.


She will marry a millionaire next week and all of her dreams will come true. OF course.

Donna is planning a massive party with the help of her poor but loyal friend Gabby- he’s a starving painter so he has to do catering jobs on the side- stay in school kids, stay in school. You can tell he is devil may care because of his Eddie Haskell jacket.


Hurray Donna! You have canapes to make and a life of well-meaning acts to get to. Whoopsie! Watch out for that ominous event coming, Donna!


Cue the organ music! young wholesome Christabel, who is coming to sublet the apartment is here a day early!


Oh my- she feels awful about arriving the day of your society party!  She says she’ll just go find a park bench to curl up on and hope no mashers find her innocent flesh enticing. born5

Christabel immediately charms anything in her vicinity! Don’t be fooled Gabby- she’s trouble!


Don’t worry, Donna- Christabel knows you are busy- she’ll just find something to do and stay out of your dowdy cargo robe wearing way.


Hours later, Donna adds last minute paprika sprinkles to the pigs in a blanket and Curtis her fiance arrives! He is not really a young Walt Disney- he just has that lip thing like him. Donna has donned a flashy gown and ever practical- low heels and a gingham apron. Assuming that gingham is a turn on for Curtis.


He leaves her to make himself a fancy pink squirrel cocktail and who does he find?


Donna! Come quickly!!!


Well, Curtis tries desperately to operate the phone and find another ticket for the premiere they were to attend with Christabel as the 3rd slutty wheel.


No dice! All the seats at Hamilton were sold out months ago. But thats ok, Christabel will stay here and plot while you are gone. Have a good time kids!


At the party, Christabel meets another of Donnas platonic hangers on. A young writer with no money. Christabel is turned off my his wallet, yet intrigued by his butt.


Writer boy and Christabel snog on the side- but she makes no bones about her hot pursuit of wealthier game. He thinks she will let her heart and loins rule the day- he is soo naive.


Christabel poses for Gabby Non’Montalban and hides from her aunt and uncle who know she’s trouble, run in the same social circles, attend the same parties, appear to be legally responsible for her- but just leave phone messages for her alot. Oh, and the aunt appears to be kind of dying or something- but the will isn’t a plot point, so Christabel isn’t so concerned. born15

Gabby finds her a challenge to paint- she keeps skanking off to meet Curtis- claiming he dropped his slide rule or she has a message for him. He is totally fooled. But Donna is starting to wake up and smell the hot cup of crapaccino Christabel keeps trying to serve her. But being polite, she lets it keep going.


Christabel has no time for poor people stuff- Curtis has asked her to meet him at a jewelry store. She thinks its to buy her a trollope offering, but no- he wants advise on what to buy Donna as an engagement present. The store is all out of plaid!


Christabel almost blows Mission: Wealth SUCK when she can’t handle Curtis wanting to buy some serious rocks for Donna-she tries to dissuade him into buying a little ‘I Like Ike’ button and some russell stovers, but he goes for the jewelers choice- offering to buy Christabel the trinket she suggested as a thank you gift. She grinds her molars and keeps quiet.



Well, this is a long movie! Lets buzz ahead- Donna starts to doubt her love for Curtis- because she likes his stuff alot. She martyrs out and leaves him in the clutches of Christabel- and clutch she does.  They marry in haste and and she presses his disney-stache to her only slightly repulsed lips as often as she can tolerate for the greater good of all his cash! He runs into Donna at Gabbys latest starving artist show at the Dave & Busters parking lot. He is still smitten and starting to emerge from the skank-haze of Christabel. But he is married! Donna is not that kind!She has nobility of spirit and lapels to keep her warm.

born20  Christabel has the novelist- who’s gotten a publisher! His advance makes him even hunkier. Donna and her old boarder have a come to Jesus meeting!


born22Christabel knows she has the upperhand- the one with the wedding band on it- but her lust for writer boy is making her sloppy!

bornm22Curtis is slowly starting to think Christabel is filling her day with charity events and writer humping to avoid him- he tries desperately to get her back to the woman she thought she was when they were courting- even tho that woman didn’t really like him much either, but hey, whatever- that Christabael didn’t avoid him.

born23 Ah, writer boys book is out and its a scorcher!


This weekend after the charity party for debutantes without frenulums, Curtis plans a long weekend at their country estate overlooking the Matterhorn- he hopes to rekindle the flames of his lame marriage. Christabel hopes to escape to see her favorite author for a naked book signing at a bed and breakfast.



As soon as the party ends, Christabel peels it for the sex cabin and her writer beau! Meanwhile:


Uh, oh! Christabel tries to sneak back home and act like she doesn’t smell like moist bookbindings and English Leather! But Curtis is onto her! Where have you been, Trollope!


Auntie died earlier today while you claim you were plumping her pillows! Who’s pillows did you plump, Christabel???


Well, Christabel flies to Reno, establishes residency and fights her prenup while working a topless dive off the strip. Writer boy?


And Donna?


All is right with the world and plaid triumphs!


photo credits: little me with a TCM assist. All images must be treated respectfully, as I have.

Sartorial Screening: Riffraff, or How I left the Cannery and embraced shirtwaist dresses

In a further attempt to educate and inform, as is my sacred calling, today I present to you the first – and if no one burns me in the village square-a  revered standard-

 Sartorial Screenings!!! 

A look at fashion history thru its most accurate lens- the Hollywood system. A truer perspective on American womanhood will never be found- so let’s enjoy a journey thru time to a simpler time when women’s roles and fashion embraced and humped like fiends for our edification.

Today we feature Riffraff- the story of love on the docks.

Gentle folk, I give you our acolyte of subtle living thru bleach- Jean Harlow.  Our Miss Hook and Ladder #7:


Jean has returned early in the morning from what I’m sure was a church sponsored event where piety and good moral hygiene made her the belle of the ball.

Now she must start her day at the cannery. No euphemism- also no hair net. But first, she and her sister will stop along the lovely docks and listen to a spirited political discussion regarding unions and the lack of laundry detergent available to her poor sister. I believe the take away here kids is that marriage leads to limpness of the soul and frock.


Even though Jean has the manly Dutch  in her sights, Jean wants better for herself. But the sparks do fly as love talk includes such endearments previously only uttered by Moe, Larry and Curly.

3 Then  he shows his affection in the traditional way of 4th graders and future defendants by literally giving her a shove off.

4  Not cool Dutch, not cool. Surely there was a better way for our depression sad audience to get a peek at the Harlow lady Hamlet.  Well, off to the cannery. Where the female bonding of other dock trollops in not so pristine surroundings work shoulder to shoulder at the origin of my Fathers favorite casserole.  Huh, so this is how fish is made.


Enter our bad guy! The 1930’s stereotype villain with pinky ring, weasal-stache and more money than Dutch! Boo! Hiss!! He sees something special in Jean- I’m wondering if it’s her aversion to foundation garments…..


He offers her a bit of night school, a cozy office job and tries to get a leg over of course, but our heroine is made of stern stuff- but wait- he ups the ante by throwing in a little pet/pelt.

7   Scientific/Historical fact- between 1810 and 1960, women totally melted and peeled off knickers for wrap around carcasses. I mean really, who wouldn’t? Its a gutted animal with snaps attached to its paws- what is not hot about that???? Style and sompanionship all at once. Jean was a goner when those clammy paws hit her collarbones. Oh, and she liked the stole too.


Jean is now marked as the property of pinkie ring weasel stash dock boss! Oh no! What about Dutch? Time for a big drunken crowd scene where the gals show off the only other dress they have besides the cannery uniform. It’s a big party on one of the boats- convenient, so no one will be able to guess who smells the most like herring.


News flash! We have an outfit change!!!!  I’m throwing in a better picture here- its pretty swank- even sans foxy bits.


Well, of course these two woolen wrapped testosterone bags can’t help but fight over our girl and words and bravado was exchanged around a heated game of off-shore dice. As an early feminist, Jean refused to blow on Dutch’s dice. She’s no prize for the blowing. Well, something like that.


Ok, you know what happens next- we need a montage.


Yup, weasel-stashe, you missed your window. Dutch and Jean are making it legal. Dock living bliss!


Look! She dyed the fox to match her bridal gown- thats dedication to theme!


Dutch and Jean start their life together in a bungalow furnished entirely by Dutch at Depression Rooms to Go- oh dear, he is not a good manager of money and she knows nothing but canning tuna and being sassy!


Foreshadowing! Dom DeLuise is here to repossess it all- but she changed her outfit- so that’s good.


Dutch, buddy- have a heart- share the only piece of furniture left, will ya?  If I thought this was a plan and if I was a thoughtful reviewer, I’d mention here that she is back to the ‘cannery collar’ as her descent back to working girl starts….


Jean, don’t be so sad- your plaid matches perfectly. Oh, upset stomache? In a 30’s movie? That can only be code for prenatal things. Perfect timing, kids!


Sad at his inability to pay for nice things on his crappy tuna boat salary, Dutch walks out. Jean does the best she can to survive once Dutch takes a powder, but she never finished secretarial school and her skills are more….hands on, anyhoo. Back to the villain she goes! He must pay cash for everything.



Plot development and longer view of a fab frock:


Hmm….Jean uses a sassy bow to hide the pain of her separation from Dutch.


Uh oh- I hope sister can sneak in a bottle of peroxide with that file!


Well, while the Jeans away, her sister is starting to dress up a bit and go thru her things.


She’s here on visit a trollop day at the pen to retrieve some contraband you aren’t allowed to keep under your bunk- surprise! I will never cease to be amazed at what you can hide in a bias cut gown!


News travels to Dutch that he has the worlds largest newborn and he returns to see Jean!


He suggests a daring escape while he works to clear Jeans name! Conveniently, they are building the warden a spa area just outside of the laundry. I think we’re about to go Shawshank! Please read the next paragraph in a Morgan Freeman voice!


Jean and her prison sorority sisters distract the guards with a live rat (I’m sure Jean tried to wear it first) and make a run for the drain pipe! Soon a wet Harlow is on the lam!


She runs to her sisters hovel for her stole- oh and her kid, possibly. Ok, mostly to get her stole back. After unexplainedly clearing Jeans name and mysteriously disposing of Weasel Stashed pinky ring dock boss, Dutch rushes to see Jean and his large headed child and they swear undying love under the seriously intrusive gaze of her sister.


Ah, ain’t love grand? So what did we learn kids? Prisoners dress better than cannery workers and buying on time is a bad idea. Also, never trust weasels bearing furry gifts.


If you enjoyed this, you have the same dodgy tastes as I do and I love you for it.

*An Eighter from Decatur is craps slang for rolling an eight. Glad I could clarify for you layman.

photo credits: little me with a TCM assist. Alamy.com All images remain the property of their original