Wearable Wednesday Roberto Cavalli

Please pull the ripcord and let the model reinflate.

Susan Dey was last seen leaving a Benedict Canyon motor lodge in this outfit. Papparrazzi are quite excited about this dress and the many starlets trying to get out of their cars drunk. This is like a Buck Rodgers villain evening dress- Ming the Mercillous has 3 on order.

I don’t know what’s going on here, but you’re in a cult- call your Dad.Lace and Snakes was the worst reptile and craft store idea ever. Never could get business insurance. well, it does look comfortable. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Dalood

Cat appreciation Level: 50

Ugh- I can’t even keep the front of a blouse tucked in and the back untucked without looking like I was peeing when the fire drill started. This is too much of a challenge!?

If Mom jeans return, can the Quacker Factory sweaters be far behind? My mother in law is going to be sooo happy!oh Lord, what if she gets me one!?This fall on the CW- the all female reboot of S E Hintons ‘The Outsiders’!You can assure Mission Control- none of the alien life forms were returned to earth with the shuttle- all is contained!what was Mortician to think? Gomez had never looked at another- yet here was the upstairs maid leaving the aviary at 3am looking so suspicious!?she just looks sad because she cannot scratch her nose. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Roland Mouret

Not hanger appeal- but jungle gym appeal-

Sweep the leg!Squish, pop, six, Cicero!My Father used to make me do all kinds of moves to see if my jeans fit before he bought them. So does Roland.

This was my yearbook pose. I was totally obsessed with the Bangles. I asked for 2 pages.Kanye is surprisingly lithe this morning.Vogue will have this pattern- 45 pieces and a missing instruction page. I think I miss runway shoots in warehouses. these cuffs both amuse and annoy me. Ok, please just stand still, m’kay? It’s hard to snark a moving target. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday andreas-kronthaler-for-vivienne-westwood

Well, it’s wedding season. So let’s grab some macaroons, spread some rose petals and crank up the string quartet as we enter the romantic world of Viv.

Nothing makes my eyes more misty than old fashioned Thunderdome nuptials.

Ok girls! Now take a shot then one of you crumple the toilet paper and one of you get the staple gun and the best design gets a Massage Envy gift card!!

Bermuda Triangle destination wedding!

Fresh from the box! No steaming required! For the devil may care bride with places to be!

Yes, but it has pockets!Father is sooo proud.Hood ornament or bleached Bigbird?Florence of Arabia?

It was my grandmothers veil- she was buried in it. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Marine Serre

Instead of hiring models with any body weight, the designer has thoughtfully provided each model with a weighted ball to keep them from blowing away.

Sometimes it’s the most attractive part of the outfit. One good thing- all the models were able to be disguised as fancy carryon bags and stored in overhead for the trip to Milan. imagine the chafing. one cup corset? Or lumpen abdominal binder?Not even pockets can redeem this. Best dressed Septic diver ever!This is just- I can’t. It’s too much. Coachella maternity?I’m a supporter of the pants/dress combo, so I’m trying to love this, but it’s not easy. Photo credits- vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Shrimp

‘I’m proud to be remembered as the man who accompanied Jackie Kennedy’s bathmat to Paris’

Earlier this week an illegal Carebear breeding mill was liberated by PETA….

This is like one of those sepia portraits of creepy Victorian children who are actually spirits. Gaw- I so wanted that to be a matching hat!!Ugh- Mrs Needleblaum is at the community mailbox on her schmatte again!?

No, don’t measure those gathers- just eyeball it and get home in time for Kimmel. Oh Maude!she’s like a young Sal Mineo…..this makes me think that a team of dancers will come running out and tear away at least 4 tiers as she breaks into a sultry verse of Teddy Bear Picnic.photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Blindness

Laura Ashley’s new Bondage in a Bag collection from Macy’s!

This is extremely specific fetishwear me thinks.

It may or may not be what Martha Stewart makes her gardeners wear.

Well, parts of him are warm.

I pity the coat check attendant, I truly do.

Flamenco Duvet sounds like a very frisky pro-wrestler!it’s like her hand just disapears- like her fashion sense would have to.ok, this is just puzzling. I just don’t have words anymore. Photo credits: Vogue.com