I dreamed I was abducted by aliens in Simplicity 8125


 

Burda2Remember me? I used to blog! Ok, well, I’d like to tell you a fancy tale about pirates, ninjas and a ring of Beanie Baby knock off smugglers and an international chase with cable cars, but……..I got nothing. Honestly, I just got lazy. Once I got out of the habit of taking pictures after each first wear- it snowballed and I just never got back to it! But alas, I’ve missed the adoration of the masses, the community, the feeling of kinship with other people who don’t just stare blankly when I rhapsodize over my joy at self- facings. Burda3

So here I am! Back in the yard while Mr B is off at Beer Club. It’s a thing. What separates it from alcoholism is the bumper sticker. It’s Mead night. I think that involves horned helmets and lots of braided beards. I’ve politely declined my breastplate opportunity.

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By the by- this is the exact face I made during gym class. Bewildered and not sure where the ball was. We have a new (to us) Pup-pup. Please met Jas-mini! She is our rescue dog- we found a black and Tan Dapple Dachsie at the local Petsmart/Humane society event and as they say in the war movies- NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND! So. Lets get this party started. Mini is a fetching machine and this dress looks lovely in motion. I know this because everytime I walked to the cafeteria in it, I got compliments. It gently swirled about me as I bent into the ice cream cooler. can I get some love for my excellent match of shoe and textile? I mean really!

So Mini will fetch while I toss the yellow bone and tell you about my stellar work on this Franken-pattern. We proceed.

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I’ve had simplicity 8125 for a very long time. It’s OOP and hasn’t gotten much love on Pattern review. One review in a pretty floral. I chose the longest version with the little flippy awning sleeves. But I have issues. That seam down the front- can I be saved from that? How about that back seam? You know I’m no fan of the back seam- if I can weasel in without a zip- I am weaselin’! So I trotted to the vault where good fabric waits for bad ideas. I found 2 lovely challis prints that Fabricmart made me buy and when I held them up together for Mr B- he plotzed. I assured him- or tried to that it was a great idea! He was beyond uncertain. Normally that would make me pause and question, but I WANTED THIS!!!! So Bruder and I retreated to the sewingroom to shake our little fists and rue stuff.

Oh! Do you know what this needs???? A overskirt! So I stole the overskirt piece from Burda 6944 – a pattern I bought when the Hancock fabric was closing and I was on a spree. I think I saved enough of the original concept to make the top half almost recognizable- almost? Sort of? IMG_1380 (1)

Once I was in square handkerchief frenzy- I decided to add a triangle of the contrast fabric to the center of each sleeve awning. By the way, pattern placement failed me. I liked to see the little birds, but I kept seeing one out of the corner of my eye and the white splash was jarring. I’m easily distracted.

Once I got this all together, we had a cold snap. Seriously. A cold snap in SC. So this stayed on Ms Holloway the dress form for a week or two and I felt like it was calling out- ‘Hey! I’m not busy enough!’ so I added some copper-toned bits of business to satisfy my inner crow. Finally the weather cleared up and we are back to the 1 hour of spring we get every year before it turns to a back fat blistering southern hell. Action shot- I’m moving so fast, everything but Bruder is a blur!

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Mini? May I ask why you are refuses to get into camera range? You aren’t Garbo you little snot- get back over here and be cute so one of us is coo-worthy! Burda4

Min-Min, come here, precious! Bring the drool soaked yellow bone to Mama! Come here pretty girl! Go get her Bruder! Ok, just lay down.

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Why do I try to organize you beasties?! I swear- none of you are earning the kibble!

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photo credits: little me, Pattern Review

Wearable Wednesday Roland Mouret


Not hanger appeal- but jungle gym appeal-

Sweep the leg!Squish, pop, six, Cicero!My Father used to make me do all kinds of moves to see if my jeans fit before he bought them. So does Roland.

This was my yearbook pose. I was totally obsessed with the Bangles. I asked for 2 pages.Kanye is surprisingly lithe this morning.Vogue will have this pattern- 45 pieces and a missing instruction page. I think I miss runway shoots in warehouses. these cuffs both amuse and annoy me. Ok, please just stand still, m’kay? It’s hard to snark a moving target. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday andreas-kronthaler-for-vivienne-westwood


Well, it’s wedding season. So let’s grab some macaroons, spread some rose petals and crank up the string quartet as we enter the romantic world of Viv.

Nothing makes my eyes more misty than old fashioned Thunderdome nuptials.

Ok girls! Now take a shot then one of you crumple the toilet paper and one of you get the staple gun and the best design gets a Massage Envy gift card!!

Bermuda Triangle destination wedding!

Fresh from the box! No steaming required! For the devil may care bride with places to be!

Yes, but it has pockets!Father is sooo proud.Hood ornament or bleached Bigbird?Florence of Arabia?

It was my grandmothers veil- she was buried in it. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Marine Serre


Instead of hiring models with any body weight, the designer has thoughtfully provided each model with a weighted ball to keep them from blowing away.

Sometimes it’s the most attractive part of the outfit. One good thing- all the models were able to be disguised as fancy carryon bags and stored in overhead for the trip to Milan. imagine the chafing. one cup corset? Or lumpen abdominal binder?Not even pockets can redeem this. Best dressed Septic diver ever!This is just- I can’t. It’s too much. Coachella maternity?I’m a supporter of the pants/dress combo, so I’m trying to love this, but it’s not easy. Photo credits- vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Shrimp


‘I’m proud to be remembered as the man who accompanied Jackie Kennedy’s bathmat to Paris’

Earlier this week an illegal Carebear breeding mill was liberated by PETA….

This is like one of those sepia portraits of creepy Victorian children who are actually spirits. Gaw- I so wanted that to be a matching hat!!Ugh- Mrs Needleblaum is at the community mailbox on her schmatte again!?

No, don’t measure those gathers- just eyeball it and get home in time for Kimmel. Oh Maude!she’s like a young Sal Mineo…..this makes me think that a team of dancers will come running out and tear away at least 4 tiers as she breaks into a sultry verse of Teddy Bear Picnic.photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Blindness


Laura Ashley’s new Bondage in a Bag collection from Macy’s!

This is extremely specific fetishwear me thinks.

It may or may not be what Martha Stewart makes her gardeners wear.

Well, parts of him are warm.

I pity the coat check attendant, I truly do.

Flamenco Duvet sounds like a very frisky pro-wrestler!it’s like her hand just disapears- like her fashion sense would have to.ok, this is just puzzling. I just don’t have words anymore. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Low Classic


I feel a strong ‘making an entrance’ vibe here. But not in a necessarily good way.

‘Look- I know I’m early, but could you just check to see if my dry cleaning is ready?’

‘I have NEVER had to come in and sign Trevor out- what is the deal, Miss Owens?’

‘I received a call about my husband- I believe there were shenanigans-‘

‘Don’t touch anything until forensics signs off on it- the corpse is in the loo’

‘Welcome to David Byrnes All-Star Salute to David Bowie!’

‘Oh Edna- I didn’t hear you coming-‘‘is anyone missing a tire retread? It was under my volvo’‘yeah, me too’ Oh dear- I think this is a jumpsuit I actually like!

Dedication to pleating:Level 7

Photo credits: Vogue.com