Wearable Wednesday La Perla

This. This is hows 80’s Barbie made me think professional adults dressed. Bless her.

I for one did not know La Perla designed streetwear.

Ok, streetwear was a bad way to put it. Tho kind of accurate.

Without a ‘Jump Street’ program, the KGB was less successful in their infiltration of American high school proms.

Mom- this is Javier. We’re in love- with lapels!!!

My favorite coroner quote on CSI: Las Vegas…

‘That corpse is no back alley hooker- she’s wearing LA PERLA!’

Everyone in Houston society wondered when Dig Daddy would realize that Butch was clearing not his new wife Cosimas Nephew.

This screams Working Girl reboot. Which should NOT be a thing.

I’m so distracted by her double hip bone growth on her right side. Get a clutch purse- you can’t keep cab fare there!?

Modesty panel fail: Lace edition, but that Marlo Thomas- she just does not age!!!

Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Viktor & Rolf

Now Erica, just because George invited you to his family Thanksgiving- don’t read too much into it. Be casual.

Show up and don’t bother to lift a finger in the kitchen? Oh Wanda- you’re sitting next to cousin Otto the gravy slurper!

That’s it. I’m adding a dress code paragraph to the e-vite. Luanne is reeling havoc with the sideboard.

Go ahead Aunt Vera- sit THIS at the kiddie table!?

Last year I vowed that if I got asked one more time about settling down, I’d bring Mr Whiskers in a tuxedo as my date!?

I like to hide extra pie slices in my bows.

Photo credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Escada

I’m getting good feelings from these- my jaded heart- my upper lip is feeling a jerking sensation- like I might form a smile. I’d better check these symptoms on webmd.

Maybe it’s just a tumor. Or the fumes from her puffy paint.

I feel a strong sense of youthful Fanning-

Like maybe I could go canpIgn for class president-

Or redo my kitchen linens!

Ok, I love this look, but when I tried it, my husband asked me if it was a prayer shawl.

Holiday party at the grange hall? Pencil me in!

These shoes are bringing me down tho. So heavy for these!?

Escada- I’m crushing on you.

Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Alena Akhmadullina

Oh look! The designer discovered lining!

I spoke too soon.

This makes me think of owl inspired formal wear.

Rejected French Wizarding school uniform:

I swear, stop figure skating competitively and your knees go to shit. 

Listen here little miss Heretic- don’t you ever make impromptu wardrobe items from the altar cloths at St Barnaclius! 

You will wear the headmasters spare suit and wait on your parents you godless hussy!!

Well, it does have pockets. 

Rough weekend Hester? I get it.

Posture makes pretty, Enid. No ones going to marry a girl with 6 spinal curves.
Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Ashish

It was hard to find a way to get a rise out of her parents, but Wednesday tried….

Wow. It’s so cold I can actually see a witches……

Mr Rodman if you don’t want attention- pick another outfit for LAX!?

Tim Burton’s Pippi Longstocking took years to get funding…..

Aw who cares if she can’t dress- she gets 523 channels!

Wanda never fit in with the other embalmers….

‘The girl with the dragon tattoo and rhumba pants’ was clearly a cheap plagerization riding the Nordic noir wave. 

Ok, you’ve been waiting for it-

Deep breath. 

What have you boys been smoking, Ashish??

Photo credits: Vogue. Com

Wearable Wednesday For Restless Sleepers

For me, extreme wealth is about tiaras and roaming exotic places in pajamas. Occcasionally straddling a fountain with help from the concierge. 

Maybe I saw Mame too many times, but seriously, I’m all about brunch with Wallis who has trouble seeing from her yacht- I usually have to flag her down.

Sometimes I lose my palazzo keys and have to wait for Imar my manservant to climb the trellis and let me in. Sigh. 

Ugh. The peasants will never appreciate the pain of a turban induced headache. Only Nick Cannon and I know the suffering.

So I said to Ivana- I refuse to go another step until I am assured that’s no one else is wearing fringe hand woven out of unicorn arse hairs by Belgian nuns. I sense someone is copying my motif.  

Sigh. I smell poor people. 

Sometimes I like to ponder the deeper issues- like should my body waxer be tipped like the boy detailing my Bentley?

Evelyn, come down- they promise to restock the minibar!

Photo credits: Vogue.com