Wearable Wednesday For Restless Sleepers

For me, extreme wealth is about tiaras and roaming exotic places in pajamas. Occcasionally straddling a fountain with help from the concierge. 

Maybe I saw Mame too many times, but seriously, I’m all about brunch with Wallis who has trouble seeing from her yacht- I usually have to flag her down.

Sometimes I lose my palazzo keys and have to wait for Imar my manservant to climb the trellis and let me in. Sigh. 

Ugh. The peasants will never appreciate the pain of a turban induced headache. Only Nick Cannon and I know the suffering.

So I said to Ivana- I refuse to go another step until I am assured that’s no one else is wearing fringe hand woven out of unicorn arse hairs by Belgian nuns. I sense someone is copying my motif.  

Sigh. I smell poor people. 

Sometimes I like to ponder the deeper issues- like should my body waxer be tipped like the boy detailing my Bentley?

Evelyn, come down- they promise to restock the minibar!

Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Thom Browne

A reminder- this is Ready to Wear- not couture. My rule has always been to showcase what the designers are showing as their meat and potatoes. I now give you those potatoes…..

Oh crap! She saw a mouse! 

Who thinks the Clinique salesgirls take themselves too seriously? 

I think her coat needs a hairnet more than she does.

Interview outfit- nailed it!

Rhonda soon regretted her piñata costume choice for the Cinco de mayo party at the  local biker bar.

Iron Man Lingerie – it’s a thing.

Looking for a fun craft project for all your mismatched socks? No,  me neither. 

Fiona loved dating a radiologist, but his gifts were a little on the nose….

I’m not sure how jaded you have to be if you can fail to look up when a giantsummer camp pot holder strolls past you at fashion week. 

The entire front row had a seizure as Marla went by. It was a very stylish seizure according to witnesses.

Ok Brenda, we get it- you LOVE fleet week!?

photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Fausto Puglisi

Built in crotch doily for seated snacking!

Is this all one piece? Is it biker lingerie?

Fashion! For ‘Merkicans!

A lesser known storybook villain- Rufflestilskin! She owned a bed in a bag retail outlet. 

I’m afraid to tell you what the lace medallion repeat in this collection makes me think of. You’ll only question my upbringing. 

At last! A blouse that doesn’t bunch up around the pommel during my midnight dressage sessions!

This looks very scratchy. 

I don’t think she needs quite this many straps to support her undercarriage.

Fringe and scratchy lace? Did my mother make these? For the den bay windows?

I saw this on Cake Wrecks! It’s supposed to be fondant, but they used butter cream- what a riot!

3rd day post operative and Donna just stopped caring how she looked during walks to physical therapy.

Ugh- the space alien nether doily caught up to us!?

Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Rejino Ryo

I’m getting whiplash here- I lurve this dress!?

But…….’Christina!? Wire Hangers!?’

The knights donned their sod helmets and prepared for the petunia joust-

Please stop trying to bring this blouse back- it gives me clown sickness. 

Richard Branson! You never know where he’ll turn up!

Ring the gong! It’s the 4 millionth rework of the classic denim jacket! Look under your seats for a special prize!

Have you been arrested for drunk driving in your clown car? Have you been accused of making dirty balloon animals? Call 1-800-haha and hire The Clown Defender!

Sigh.When mom buys pants you ‘can grow in to’

I like this one:

Not as much as the cat likes this one:

Photo credits- vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Karen Walker

At last! The origin story you’ve been waiting for! The Giddy Adventures of Young Miss Marple!

Played by the dashing and tender Eddie Redmayne!

See Jane in her best adventures yet! The Case of the Baggy Gym Bloomers!

High waters or Homicide!

Death and the Debutantes Darts!

Diabolical Denim! 

They Ruffle by Night!

Counterpane Conspirator!

Requiem for a Tattoo’d Monkey!

Escape the Local Vicarage!

Boiled Lambs of Bobbingate!

Photo credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday J W Anderson

The last description I ever want to hear about my upper torso is ‘flappy, droopy and empty’….

There’s probably a hilarious story about the models feeding persimmon jam to some emus and then a stampede occurred and oh, well, you can imagine….

‘Finkle, party of 4? Welcome to O’Chans. The fitst Scottish Mandarin tapas buffet. Follow me to your table….’

Prince Valiant got really experimental during his gap year in Brussels. 

Eleanor knew how to hurt Vinnie- she stole his vintage seat covers and wore them on a date with a guy in a Kia.

A fox Jean jacket…oh no. 

Is her shirt caught on her- oh I just have no excuse for it at all. 

What is with these breastal coin nurses??? 

Scar face bedroom curtain homage-

Just tuck it in enough so she doesn’t trip- it’s fine, looks fine. 

Yeah, you should look sheepish Boyo!?

Photo credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Vetements

Ugh- if I have to look- so do you!

She’s begging for a bicycle to knock her out of this outfit!

Are her feet that big or is a clown hiding behind her?

I think of this pose as ‘pouting with cramps’

Does she have a spare outfit in the bag under her  arm? We’ll wait while she changes….

You have to perfect a sexy bowlegged walk to keep the boot squeaking to a minimum. Life lessons. I give them.

First glance I really thought her leg was swung over the dumpster and I kind of understood why. 

This feels random. 

I highly recommend that you go see the rest of this collection. Not for fashion inspiration, but for amusing street style what the f’ery. Exhibit A:

Photo credits: vogue.com