Wearable Wednesday Patou


This is it- I’m a professional model now! The glamour! The travel! The fame- I have wear this on my head?

Where’s yours? You just said no? You can do that?

Ok. I told the stylist I didn’t want to wear THAT hat. Sigh.

Stop laughing! I want your lighting! Where’s your doll makeup??? Is that your own clothing??

I want to speak to my agent!!! I have a bird allergy and my thighs are breaking out.

Hey weren’t you Springsteen’s first wife???

I want a union……and a Diet Coke.

Photo credits: vogue. Com

Wearable Wednesday- Ulla Johnson


Quarantine has hit hard peeps- let’s not forget our poor models forced to take alternate jobs- like Finola forced to stand in front of a tire dealership all day without a Diet Coke break.

Or Ariel- taking in laundry for the neighbors.

Or Siobhan who is being used to attract Amazon drones.

Poor Eleanor- she’s near her breaking point-

Yesterday she was arrested for going thru the recycling bins outside of Dolce and Gabbana’s Tucson vacay home- her freakishly large footprints gave her away-

Mimi is so distraught she has started talking to herself again.

Photo credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Erdem


Your parents have made a wise decision bringing you to Hedgly Hall while they explore the Bermuda Triangle.

Phoene and Freesia will show you the grounds. Try not to let them get behind you when you’re near the moat.

She’s behind me, isn’t she?

We’ve decided you can sit with us. But not HER.

The doctor says it’s fungal, but it isn’t infectious.

Ernestina! What have we told you about wandering the grounds out of uniform!

Photo credits: vogue. Com

Wearable Wednesday Christian Siriano


This year has been crazy. Enid, I am going to stay home this New Years, have a spa night and just be one with my inner space. Just super cas.

Wait- Party? Who’s party? I’d it Elton??? Let me whip something together- hand me that bag of COVID models from my vaccine party!!

Too much? How can it be too much? Oh, you mean my sugar scrub. How did you know I used it earlier? Is it my glow?
Did I mention I took up quarantine crocheting? Totally spiritual muscle memory!
Last years party I stole so many canapés I didn’t have to grocery for a month! This is my fav party bag! I’ve lined it in saran
Please help! My earring is attached to my shoulder!?
I’ll keep an eye out for our Uber- Gaw- I’m sooo drunk already!

Wearable Wednesday Gucci


Good afternoon all! I’d like to thank all of our volunteers- both our drama class students and our cafeteria and sanitation staff for helping us today as we, the faculty of St Grenadines look at suggestions for our new school uniforms!

Ellen! Take your nipples back to the choir room and wait for Dean Hannity!

Oh Cafe Server Doris, dont you look….jaunty!

Eric Phillips! Go back to 5th form! Your humor is not appreciated here!!

Well, this is…..functional. Perhaps a nice cardigan with our emblem? No votes? No? Thank you anyway Enid.

Oh, Sister Ermantrude! How charming you look! Please stop crying, you’re doing fine, dear!

Lunch Lady Helen! Oh, you are- as the kids say- wearing the heck out of option 4! Bravo! oh, those are your kitchen gloves? Ok.

Oh! This is sharp and very forward thinking for you future lady captains of industry! Do a twirl for us, Honoria!

Well, it’s definitely appropriate for our winters- tho Custodian Hurlehee promises the ladies dormitory will not ice over AGAIN next semester!

Well, this is a bit too casual for the chancellor’s consent- I think their feelings on denim have been long established- oh….I see. Sister Florentine, your Uber is here.

Photo credits: Vogue. Com

Wearable Wednesday Marine Serre


There is a lot here. A lot.

Erins lamp shade costume was so good- no one spoke to her all night.

Just approach the old woman at the counter and say, ‘Is the Wedgwood in the chiffarobe’ and you’ll be permitted into the sacred lair of the DRUIDS OF BATTEN BURG!It’s not a bear. I’m perfectly safe. I like camping. It’s fine. Oh crap! It was a bear! Or…..something…..

Just popping out for kibble.

Grandma loves quarantine. Walk of shame- campground style. what to say, what to say….Saint Tentulla- patroness of campers. Well, this is frisky. Photo credits- vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Marysia


Let’s all wave at each other from our castaway areas. Marysia is here for us. This is her homage to Brooke Shields classic ‘stranded on an island sewn my own nymphette diapers’ look. Enid already fears her tan line future. Formal night in the island! ‘I made this from 3 sail pieces and a cabin boys snot rag!’

We may be stuck because I used all the ropes, but I look amazing!

photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Balenciaga


Sit down villagers- this is a lot.

You can fit 3 Snapes in this one-

Be the one that sucks the light from every gathering-

He had a timeless grace- like a young Jackie Bouvier….Damn it- passed over for Dark Arts again!?This fall- the RBG musical you’ve waited for- Dissent so Sexy!

I’m pretty sure my Mother bought me this for my wedding night

Lewis was no hugger.

Right Eric? Secretarial Malificent-

Which Gallagher is this?

Palate cleanser- from the 1951 collection:Photo credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Christopher Kane


‘Oh Brett! Why must you play with me like I’m some sort of board game for your amusement??’

This is serious Dita Von Teese grocery store wear!

This is my only hope for doing that ‘half tuck shirt thing the cool kids do. What’s up with her toes??

I see Formal Fester.

Sparkly squid- do do da do do do…..

Hmm….a fisherman’s knit with a lobster bib. That is inspired!

Let’s take up a collection in the front row to buy her another pocket.
I think her thong is trying to kill her!
You should see how embellished her crocs are!
Sign my petition to get Kiernan Shipka in this dress!
Fooled you! You just signed my petition to make Kate Middleton wear this to Beatrices wedding! Bwahahaha!
Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Puppets and Puppets


No, seriously. Why do t I have a cookie belt?

This is like the last minute ‘Mom! I need a costume for digit day! Wake up! Why are you sleeping? The carpool is here!!’ Nightmare

Oh no! Your knee balloons aren’t inflated! Now the collection won’t make any sense!?

No. I won’t wear it. I don’t care. I’ll walk in

My own clothes. Fine. Fiona- you’re up!!

All Hail our Queen!!

Drop crotch sad Olive Oyl frock? Are those bath bombs?

Ok, so I never actually saw the new Aquaman- but I’m sure I can make you a costume if you describe it…..

Photo credits: Vogue.com