Wearable Wednesday Christopher Kane


‘Oh Brett! Why must you play with me like I’m some sort of board game for your amusement??’

This is serious Dita Von Teese grocery store wear!

This is my only hope for doing that ‘half tuck shirt thing the cool kids do. What’s up with her toes??

I see Formal Fester.

Sparkly squid- do do da do do do…..

Hmm….a fisherman’s knit with a lobster bib. That is inspired!

Let’s take up a collection in the front row to buy her another pocket.
I think her thong is trying to kill her!
You should see how embellished her crocs are!
Sign my petition to get Kiernan Shipka in this dress!
Fooled you! You just signed my petition to make Kate Middleton wear this to Beatrices wedding! Bwahahaha!
Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Puppets and Puppets


No, seriously. Why do t I have a cookie belt?

This is like the last minute ‘Mom! I need a costume for digit day! Wake up! Why are you sleeping? The carpool is here!!’ Nightmare

Oh no! Your knee balloons aren’t inflated! Now the collection won’t make any sense!?

No. I won’t wear it. I don’t care. I’ll walk in

My own clothes. Fine. Fiona- you’re up!!

All Hail our Queen!!

Drop crotch sad Olive Oyl frock? Are those bath bombs?

Ok, so I never actually saw the new Aquaman- but I’m sure I can make you a costume if you describe it…..

Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Attico


The specific Attico would be Stevie Nicks-o…..

I don’t think anyone really enjoys making button holes, but come on Susan!?

Wanda, hows the sciatica? Let Herve know if you need a break, m’kay?

Herve! Go get Pepita- mamas chihuahua is bothering the models!Aw- look what Aunt Clara made you for your interview, Ralphie!!Have you gotten this stuck on anything? (Insert Lindsey Buckingham voice)

Maybe one, maybe twice…. ‘I can’t move. They tied the dress to the shoes. Please help me’Obviously a wedding dress designer was called in to show her how to bustle up her drop crotch in 5 easy points! Psst- I said ditch the Pocahontas bridal finale! The protesters are getting rough out there!credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Isabel Marant


Let’s set a mood, shall we?

These shoulders tucks can fit the entire daily calorie intake of one professional runway model! Fashion + function! Winner, winner tiny dinner!As if, Toni! I said I was wearing my IKEA wrap today- bitch!Turn Blue Heather- mines Benetton! So what if you haven’t finished shrink wrapping the model- we’ll crop the hose out later! Due to a severe waxing accident, Tiffany was forced to sit out the runway. I mean so like, the galleria was way packed- I couldn’t wedge myself into the Claire’s. It was bogus. Doy Erica- it was 2for 1 stud day- the food court was slammed with toasted surfers scarfing at full pitch. Whatever. Shut.Up. Marley- is that your mothers suede fringed bolero? You’re so tripendicular in that. I totally die of env. Do you have a clue Yardley? That is like granny wear to the max. Wear pink rollers and cruise the farmers market much? photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Burberry


Do you, or someone you know seek a legal settlement from a polar bear? Call Emory&Fields- South Pole Attorneys!

I wonder what they did with all the props when George Lucas quit….. McCall’s has this pattern with a matching deer stalker hat….for dogs.Girls, never travel without at least one pad. ‘Nough said. I’m sorry I’m late. I got stuck on the elevator. Reports are coming in that noted circus performers have defected! Authorities are still puzzling over how they avoided detection.Ron Weasley wasn’t the only one with a hand me down robe. Wait- stop. Is this a parka with crotch snaps????? Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Fendi


Fendi baffles me. Do I hate it? Do I want to

Embrace the Pollyanna wears a moving blanket vibe?

-I’ve always thought that my purse needed it’s own purse.

I hear that in the very posh VIP lounges they provide jammies. Tho that may change since Gwyneth has been caught stealing them….

Upgrade me or I will jump!! I mean it!!

Fendi- you’re like a bad boyfriend- you keep sucking me in with little glimpses of charm.Then the pants come off.

This blouse combo has a high chafing rating. prove me wrong- denim is not lux. This looks like Mr Furly. Project Runway presents: Grannies Boudoir unconventional challenge! Best Oasis album cover ever! where’s my mace?! Photo credits: Vogue. Com

Wearable Wednesday Monique Lhuillier


So you have to work the New Years? Why not just wear your party gown and celebrate there?

Oh. The cafeteria isn’t opening the hot bar? Could I get a grilled ch- no? Ok. I’ll find a yogurt.

Now Mrs Phillips- as you heal from your hip replacement, I want you to do these simple exercises every morning. Hands on hips…..

Jordan? Alice Jordan? I’m here to take you to the MRI area……Ok, you know the drill- wipe front to back with the towelette, tinkle a little in the toilet then finish the stream in the sterile cup….Mr Bennet? I’m here to take you to surgery. This is Parnell, she’s my PA. Good morning Ma’am. I’m here from financial counseling to help you with your short term disability forms. Damn. No pockets. Do you have a pen?

Welcome to St Parsimonious Regional. Looks like you need to take the blue elevator to the 3rd floor and turn left at the neonatal desk. who schedules meetings on a holiday? Where’s my clipboard? Wait? You’re leaving early? Can I leave too?? No? Oh, ok. No big deal…..Photo credits- vogue.com