Wearable Wednesday Paco Rabanne


The slave that stands behind Anna Wintour waiting to wipe her lips after she has her morning virgins blood smoothie wears this:

Mick Jagger was last seen wearing this-

How can you be upset? This isn’t too bad!If she didn’t have that serious thigh gap, her inner thigh sequins would pelt the front rows.I’m liking this- in a Duchess if Windsor’s parlour wallpaper kind of way….If you brush the skirt upward you get a portrait of Cecil Beaton riding a hobbyhorse!Hold on- can an entire model be sucked into a roomba? Somebody grab her tail!This is fun- like dancehall floozie fun- Can I be buried in this? I was planning to be cremated, but this looks like it won’t burn. Looks like Adam Ants daughter Peony found the ‘special trunk’…..Ok, ok- no more skirt rubbing- don’t get angry! photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Loewe


But how will I know you? There will be so many people at the depot….

‘Welcome to Mercilous Ming’s- home of the24 Oz mai tai, can I get you a table by the laser beam?’

Gaw- even her bodice wants to cover its face?!Uncle Dan loved those car seats- how could you!!!You only have 3 yards- ok, we’ll just piece it. Oh no- the chick incubator is down again, eh Wanda?So I was thinking Elton…..An aeorodynamic catwalk demands ones shoulder Pringle’s never be wider than their Outback rat flaps. I keep looking for a tiny Liza Minnelli to pop out of her skirt and sing Cabaret songs with Joel Grey….Ok, so just grab some of the pirate wench and witch costumes off the returns shelf and suit up- I can’t believe Erica called out on the hostess desk!?You could have told me your cat was lactose intolerant before I held her in my lap. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Kimora Lee Simmons


Please allow me to introduce myself, Mr Bond. I’m Fancy Crevice- the Barons assistant. Mr Bond- if you would help me out of my formal Druid poncho- I shall commence to seduce you….

You may know krav maga- but I’ve trained extensively in twat fu-Please follow me into the volcano lair, I’ll explain my work here as a topless geophysicist, Mr Bond. Here at EvilTech, I have no actual job title, I just make menacing faces and stroke my designer lab wear.You see, James- my dress actually comes apart and can be easily reassembled into a hover craft with just one poke of my stiletto bust darts. Q provided me with this radar blanketing swing dress for the finale- let’s see if you can get me out of it before the other agents arrive!I fully expect your overly planned demise to be quite messy, Mr Bond- please note my vinyl coated pencil skirt. photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Mint Designs


‘Mrs Phillips, I’m sorry, but I can’t perform your mammogram thru that.’

I vow that if I had 5 yards of this, I’d be much nicer to it!!

So the kittens are still a little bitey I take it.

How to know your X-ray tech wants to leave early for a date….

It was so cold, but the patients still wanted their time outside in the garden….

Who wore it best?

APhoto credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Tae Ashida


Very Florence Welch. I approve.

D’you remember that time after the prom when you were on the balcony and you tried to put that bird in your strapless?

This is perfect movie theatre wear. Good for back of the neck drafts and a wide swath to catch stray popcorn.

Ooh- this fabric is so William Morris!

This fabric is more Morrissey. I think the dickie goes inside, Tara. She is so sleeping with one of the Hyatt Airport lounge singers…..Snu-Snuffilupagus? Is that you????Ones for chapstick, ones for cab fare, ones for a rabbits foot……..

They send this out last- since the dust ruffle train literally bats cleanup.

Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Antonio Berardi


Erica reluctantly agreed to let her newly divorced Mom chaperone the class trip to Biltmore.

‘Mom- the bus driver is telling everyone that you forgot your panties!?’

‘No, I do NOT know if Coach Fredricks is dating anyone!’

‘Mom! Please! The docents are staring!’‘Mom! Come down from there! They already have a topless statue in the library!?’‘Did you bring a portable fan??? Moooooooom! Your nipples!?’‘No. They do NOT need more parents for the overnight ski trip!’ Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Mui Mui


Camouflage can get bizarrely specific- urban, real tree, hiding in Elvis’s den….

Some Granny’s loo roll is suspiciously naked right now…..Once you see Batman- it’s all you see.

Enid? Are you wearing your sisters Jansport??I’d hoped to never see knickers again- but I’m not that lucky. ‘I swear Mom- I’m going straight to the library! Why don’t you trust me???’Duffel cape? I think I love you. Photo credits: vogue.com