Wearable Wednesday Monique Lhuillier


So you have to work the New Years? Why not just wear your party gown and celebrate there?

Oh. The cafeteria isn’t opening the hot bar? Could I get a grilled ch- no? Ok. I’ll find a yogurt.

Now Mrs Phillips- as you heal from your hip replacement, I want you to do these simple exercises every morning. Hands on hips…..

Jordan? Alice Jordan? I’m here to take you to the MRI area……Ok, you know the drill- wipe front to back with the towelette, tinkle a little in the toilet then finish the stream in the sterile cup….Mr Bennet? I’m here to take you to surgery. This is Parnell, she’s my PA. Good morning Ma’am. I’m here from financial counseling to help you with your short term disability forms. Damn. No pockets. Do you have a pen?

Welcome to St Parsimonious Regional. Looks like you need to take the blue elevator to the 3rd floor and turn left at the neonatal desk. who schedules meetings on a holiday? Where’s my clipboard? Wait? You’re leaving early? Can I leave too?? No? Oh, ok. No big deal…..Photo credits- vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Stine Goya


Ah, the holidays. When you drink enough to let your cousin cutting your hair seem like a good plan.st5

Oh, no Hester- she got to you??

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I can’t help in the kitchen, I sadly have pink eye. st2

Oh, yeah me too.

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It’s like a plague this year, totally.

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Fine. I’ll sieve the gravy with Aunt Betty. I wore an outfit that covers all my tattoos. st4

Ugh, I hear everyone who slept at Cousin Floyds house has pink eye. st10

photo credits: vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Brock Collection


Let’s all pause a moment and think about the plight of models with cramps. Bravely soldiering on thru the pain…Hurry Alice! Drink the other bottle!Oh, that’s where I left my copy of Swann’s Way!Kidney Stones! I think it’s kidney stones!Is her head on backwards?

Are you still cold Enid? Is your blood even flowing?Like a young Kate Hepburn….with Lyme Disease.

For the love of Mr Darcy, can one of the interns loan her a scrunchie so we can see the clothes? Are you huffing Flonase again Enid? We talked about this!?Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Moschino


So I was on the subway this morning…..img_0784

‘I’m so possessive that I rock his Roc necklaces giant ass puffer jacket’

Rosie Perez called- she said you need to return her storage locker keys…..NOWMy husband cringes whenever I attempt a baseball cap- he says it just looks unnatural. I think he sees this.Wear matching track suits to see the Mets she says, it’ll be fun she says. Then she shows up with another guy……NY Transit has come up with an anti-turnstile jumping initiative. After your 2nd offense, you are issued these pants. Northface presents their first collection of prom wear in sassy satin-finish gortex!

Every year thousands of Russian peasant women immigrate to NY to pursue their dreams….. Grandmas vintage Chanel was perfect for Erins new job with just a few adjustments.  Toby was so excited to be invited to the Kardashian pajama party!Hannah felt the chiffon bow blouse was too much for a job interview………Alex wasn’t going to let that Chihuahua that spooked him yesterday from using public transit, he was ready!Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Maria Ke Fisherman


Don’t bother fishing for compliments, Maria. The lake is dry.

Pokeman, please go. Major thigh chafe warning- Is she standing in the worlds most useless tote bag?I think her breastplate is made of recycled fast food drink cup holders and her panties were six pack rings. Nice. well, I think the stripes not matching is the least of the crimes on view here. Do I even need to comment on this knitted rick-rack taste of hell? The new Tron full body maxi pad. Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Karla Spetic


Hey, you kids in the back! No plucking jokes!

Some of those Hitchcock cameos are hard to find when you first watch….

Hey lady! You dropped your change…and your keys….and your chapstick, oh never mind!?

As the years wore on, Maid Marion tried anything to get Robins attention.

For sale: only worn once- gave up after it got tangled on the washer pole.

Shipwreck day 33….and I look fabulous!!

Come on Esther- you can’t get around the clear purse rule at work….oh.Springfield’s only sewage treatment company with only female employees feels kind of exploitative. Let me leave you with what I can only think of as a belly button ball gag……Photo-credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Gucci


Ok, after last week I thought I was starting to understand ‘Resort’. Remember Truman Capotes Caligula Pool party? I miss classy events like that. Jodi Foster in Taxi Driver-…and the last in line was Madeline. Carlo was honored to be on the Popes private flight crew. Oh Lumiere! No!!!!Welcome to Little Nero’s. Would you like a booth or a table?I’m so sorry that your kabob was not to your liking, yes, we’ll comp your dessert. No. not even for Mickey. Miss Marple- the teen mysteries!Tarts! And vicars!Celebrities at the airport- they’re just like us!Milo, this is the 3rd time you’ve been late this week- Mrs Phillips is ready for her waxing!

Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Zac Posen


I’ve never figured out what Resort Wear means exactly-

Maybe it’s what you wear when you have a kidney stone?

This is screaming ‘praying mantis launching from a cocoon-Be your own hood ornament-I think this is Florence Welch at CanneA Binoche at Canne-An Senator Organna at Canne-If I just float thru the cafeteria at work in this- will it seem excessive for bbq bar day?Liesl, the angry debutanteOh Zac- you have me a trench coat!!Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Christopher Esber


Let’s start slow-

Weirdly enough- I’m seeing Mickey Mouse.

I’ve never seen an outfit that makes a models belly button scream in horror….Huh, there are more strings holding her sandals on than the dress! Sooner or later I’m going to get the hanger so tangled in this that I end up having a psycho meltdown Joan Crawford style. 1 pocket for anti-frizz gel, the other for extra garment supporting shoe laces….‘Hi- I’m wondering if you could help me find something unflattering yet strangely revealing- it’s for a job interview…’Boris Becker was stranded on an island for 5 years…..see his first interview on Inside Edition!Photo credits: Vogue.com

Wearable Wednesday Our Legacy


June is coming- let’s turn this into an angry high school valedictorian speech.

  • Teachers, students and family. Our Legacy is something we aren’t ready to face yet-Our Legacy is confusing and hard to understand-

Our Legacy is spread out before us-

Our Legacy is like nothing we’d have imagined-Our Legacy is uncomfortable to stand in-

Our Legacy is incomprehensible and frightening-Our Legacy is something we should have worked harder for- Our Legacy is just a flash on the horizon!photo credits: Vogue.com